Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day . . . mothers! This is part of my triumphant return to LJ (maybe) and the start of a long stay here on LJ (probably) that'll be filled with laughs and other things (hopefully)! Maybe it'll match the good times of last summer, who knows? Are you excited? Probably not. To get you into the mood, I've decided to share these Mother-related jokes . . .
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME travel.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
6. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
7. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
8. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
9. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
10. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
11. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
12. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
13. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
14. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
15. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
Oh and this lady is going for Mother of the Year, I think. Between you and me? It's all hers. She's got it in the bag! She's definitely running away with this one! An easy grab! What a steal! Alright, alright, shutting up now . . .
Lata all!
;)
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME travel.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
6. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
7. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
8. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
9. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
10. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
11. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
12. My mother taught me about HUMOR.
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
13. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
14. My mother taught me about GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
15. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
Oh and this lady is going for Mother of the Year, I think. Between you and me? It's all hers. She's got it in the bag! She's definitely running away with this one! An easy grab! What a steal! Alright, alright, shutting up now . . .
Lata all!
;)