(no subject)
This may be one of the oddest entries any of you have ever seen me write. if you don't comment that is fine. if you think i'm messed up after it. GREAT! but this is for me. i just need a place right now to write this all down. My relationship with God has definatly been different lately. i havn't been reading my bible enough and talking to Him. I have been feeling a lot differently lately and people may have noticed that change in me. I realize now, especially tonite, that I need to start focusing on my relationship with him more. And all that came from one song on a CD. Switchfoot-on fire.
I just want everyone to know how much they mean to me. Sometimes i can act very casual with friendships. or something i can seem really "stalkish" in my frienships. and that's because I don't know how to be close to people. The only person who really knew me was Jonas and although we still talk it's a lot different. I need someone here. For a while I thought that God presented me with someone who was gonna fill that void. Someone I could just hang out with. and who "knew" everything about me. Since my new faith it's really hard for me to continue my old friendships because they arn't Christians. and i can't really talk about everything with them. so they don't really know me. and thinking about that really upsets me. I understand how uncomfortable people get when God or Jesus get's thrown into a conversation. probably at least 2 people stopped reading my entry after i talked about God. But i love God. He's a big part of my life. and it's really hard to fully open up to someone, allow them to know everything about you, when everytime you say the word God they makes a huffing noise. ha i donno. it's silly i guess. but it's important to me. yeah.
maybe i'm gonna stop this for now. because enough people are probably going to run the other way when they see me now! I love you all...xoxox
I just want everyone to know how much they mean to me. Sometimes i can act very casual with friendships. or something i can seem really "stalkish" in my frienships. and that's because I don't know how to be close to people. The only person who really knew me was Jonas and although we still talk it's a lot different. I need someone here. For a while I thought that God presented me with someone who was gonna fill that void. Someone I could just hang out with. and who "knew" everything about me. Since my new faith it's really hard for me to continue my old friendships because they arn't Christians. and i can't really talk about everything with them. so they don't really know me. and thinking about that really upsets me. I understand how uncomfortable people get when God or Jesus get's thrown into a conversation. probably at least 2 people stopped reading my entry after i talked about God. But i love God. He's a big part of my life. and it's really hard to fully open up to someone, allow them to know everything about you, when everytime you say the word God they makes a huffing noise. ha i donno. it's silly i guess. but it's important to me. yeah.
maybe i'm gonna stop this for now. because enough people are probably going to run the other way when they see me now! I love you all...xoxox