i hope you don't mind that i wrote down in words..
i don't often post in this. not usually the time, energy, and i'm fairly certain due to lack of updates that i have lost most of the readers. on that note, life has been interestng lately. stressful. fun. overall just new. its been sometime since i've vented here.
albany is getting so much better. spending everyday with elle has seriously been heaven. i was worried her and i would drive each other mad, but its been the exact opposite. shes been my sanity, my calm. probably would have lost my mind by now. school hasn't really stressed me too much yet, other than my last minute homework ways. thats normal i guess.
when i startd this entry i really had so much to write about, so much to just clear out of my head. maybe just the attempt at organizing these thoughts helped. i dn't really know. im in an unusual situation. which in some ways really makes me happy, but in a lot of ways makes me so nervous and really uncomfortable. its a situation i've never been in before, feelings ive never felt, and just overall not sure what to make of it. im attempting just go with the flow, but my oh my, its just alot of deal with. thankfully i have people in my life that i can confide in. im pretty much crossing my fingers and hoping for the best on this one, but i don't know, i'm filled with so much anxeity, just thinking about it makes my stomach turn. then at other points im really happy, nervous, but happy. i just really hope this all resovles into one feeling,no matter which sides that feeling might be on..
on the other hand, bren came up for what turned into a whole weekend. her and i have gotten alot closer. it was really really great to have her here. we get along amazingly well. she's decided to move here. which makes life so much sweeter. the one weekend her, elle, and i were all together was simply..well, perfect (if only min were here too). thats a really big plus to life. bren and i are planning another big move in january, which is causing much stress, much research, and retarded amounts of planning. will be worth it in the end.
i miss tricia..alot. i know i pretty much screwed things up between her and i. i need to email her. i really want to email her. but honestly, theres not an excuse in the world for what i did. it was just down right fucked up. not sure theres even a way i could begin to apologize to her. but once i grow some balls (in the most fem way possible) i'll give it a shot. if not only to let her know that i am sorry. not sure theres much hope for friendship, or trust, or anything, but i do so hope that maybe one day we'll talk again. i miss her so much.
instead of the paragraph that was there let me say that one of the situations above fixed itself like crazy last night...those of you that know me..well i always pick the winner don't i?! hahaha i love you folks. breennnnnnnnaaa come home!!!
goodnight.
albany is getting so much better. spending everyday with elle has seriously been heaven. i was worried her and i would drive each other mad, but its been the exact opposite. shes been my sanity, my calm. probably would have lost my mind by now. school hasn't really stressed me too much yet, other than my last minute homework ways. thats normal i guess.
when i startd this entry i really had so much to write about, so much to just clear out of my head. maybe just the attempt at organizing these thoughts helped. i dn't really know. im in an unusual situation. which in some ways really makes me happy, but in a lot of ways makes me so nervous and really uncomfortable. its a situation i've never been in before, feelings ive never felt, and just overall not sure what to make of it. im attempting just go with the flow, but my oh my, its just alot of deal with. thankfully i have people in my life that i can confide in. im pretty much crossing my fingers and hoping for the best on this one, but i don't know, i'm filled with so much anxeity, just thinking about it makes my stomach turn. then at other points im really happy, nervous, but happy. i just really hope this all resovles into one feeling,no matter which sides that feeling might be on..
on the other hand, bren came up for what turned into a whole weekend. her and i have gotten alot closer. it was really really great to have her here. we get along amazingly well. she's decided to move here. which makes life so much sweeter. the one weekend her, elle, and i were all together was simply..well, perfect (if only min were here too). thats a really big plus to life. bren and i are planning another big move in january, which is causing much stress, much research, and retarded amounts of planning. will be worth it in the end.
i miss tricia..alot. i know i pretty much screwed things up between her and i. i need to email her. i really want to email her. but honestly, theres not an excuse in the world for what i did. it was just down right fucked up. not sure theres even a way i could begin to apologize to her. but once i grow some balls (in the most fem way possible) i'll give it a shot. if not only to let her know that i am sorry. not sure theres much hope for friendship, or trust, or anything, but i do so hope that maybe one day we'll talk again. i miss her so much.
instead of the paragraph that was there let me say that one of the situations above fixed itself like crazy last night...those of you that know me..well i always pick the winner don't i?! hahaha i love you folks. breennnnnnnnaaa come home!!!
goodnight.