(no subject)
The idea of growing up and growing old has never appealed to me. I'm so afraid of dying without having lived, but I'm afraid to take chances. When something good presents itself in front of me, I run the other way. It seems I intentionally mess up every chance I have at doing/being/having something(one) great. And this is with every aspect of my life, so don't go thinking this is another post is about something it's not. I just with I wasn't so chicken shit all of the time. I wish I could say the things that are on my mind, live up to the potential I know I have. I KNOW it's possbible for me to do something amazing with my time, but the question is; will I? I CAN'T motivate myself to do anything. Everything I do, I do because I'm scared of letting the people around me down. I will always need someone, be it a friend, family member, class mate, whatever, to be by my side. I need people around me to push me, I need to know if people care whether or not I succeed. Because I don't do it for myself, I do it for them.
I don't know if I will ever learn to do things for myself. I need to be depended on by other people. Because I really don't care about being let down. It's happened one too many time and I don't know what dissapointment feels like anymore.
Someone please depend on me.
I don't know if I will ever learn to do things for myself. I need to be depended on by other people. Because I really don't care about being let down. It's happened one too many time and I don't know what dissapointment feels like anymore.
Someone please depend on me.