Healing Hands of God have mercy on this unclean soul once again
Well. So tonight I went to church and Andrew was there, and I was glad to see him I guess. He was with the college kids, that I'm kinda-sorta friends with, and like none of my friends were there so I was hanging out with them. Fun times.
We went into the room to have worship and started singing and I just kneeled down and cried and talked to God about the Andrew situation. It helped a little, but now I'm just down about it. Just thinking about Andrew makes me sad. I feel like our friendship hardly exists, and will cease to exist once he heads for college (which btw, I think is next week, I thought he said tonight). I'm afraid we won't really talk anymore and stuff. I'm afraid he doesn't care about our friendship or me. But more than that, I'm sick of having all these feelings. I'm sick of hurting myself and our friendship by having them. I asked God to just take them away, and just cried. I don't want them anymore. I almost don't want to care about him at all, to make it easier, but I know that's not right. I know I need to care. He's my brother in Christ and my "friend" so I've gotta care. I like to care about him, but he makes it awfully hard. I don't know what else to do other than pray. I wish we could freaking work it out already, but I'm afraid I won't see him again before he leaves. *sigh*
We went into the room to have worship and started singing and I just kneeled down and cried and talked to God about the Andrew situation. It helped a little, but now I'm just down about it. Just thinking about Andrew makes me sad. I feel like our friendship hardly exists, and will cease to exist once he heads for college (which btw, I think is next week, I thought he said tonight). I'm afraid we won't really talk anymore and stuff. I'm afraid he doesn't care about our friendship or me. But more than that, I'm sick of having all these feelings. I'm sick of hurting myself and our friendship by having them. I asked God to just take them away, and just cried. I don't want them anymore. I almost don't want to care about him at all, to make it easier, but I know that's not right. I know I need to care. He's my brother in Christ and my "friend" so I've gotta care. I like to care about him, but he makes it awfully hard. I don't know what else to do other than pray. I wish we could freaking work it out already, but I'm afraid I won't see him again before he leaves. *sigh*