moving away from ________
in about 5 days, i'm going to be moved out of my apartment in cockeysville. it's bittersweet but necessary. and my decision showed some reluctance at first but i knew WHY it had to happen. people either know the first reason or the second; but the main one being i hate the hour commute to and from work. it's aging my ambition.
to think back on 5 years living here, i realize how positive it turned out for me. i met some good fucking people. i got to see the good and bad of baltimore's film scene. i got an education and i got an ego -- not necessarily the "fuck you, i'm better" one, but the "i'm proud of the shit i do" kind. pretentious. that being said, i've become more of a critic, especially about crappy student films and mediocre independent projects. on top of that, i guess i'm becoming more of an old man: i hate most of the music this generation listens to, i go to bed at 8pm half the week, i shit in my diapers.
there are more weird people up here than down in bowie. and that's a good thing. yuppies and soccer moms, gangstas and wiggers, morons and jocks all tend to get a bit boring.
moving out sucks. the process has been a little stressful, but i got a storage container delivered so it isn't that difficult as i slowly fill it up with furniture and accoutrements. moving though has been a cleansing experience, as i sell off or trash the bleeding albatross on my back that is excess DVDs, books, papers, half-written ideas, and dust bunny-covered boxes i have no interest in or use for anymore. it's been alot about wiping the slate clean, keeping only the stuff i love. like dildos and butt plugs.
we have neighbors i'm mostly indifferent about and they usually react the same. the family above us, however, has been the kindest, coolest group of people i've ever lived next to. the mother, who i blogged about a long time ago blowing up on some outgoing punk kid, is really just one of the most empowered and solid people i've met. the son and the father are good, funny people too. and as we move out, they are moving as well, sometime this summer, to PA. definitely a good memory to keep.
anyway, as i end up in bowie again, with my family and high school friends, i have some fears creeping back on me. i don't know if i'm going to be happy that close to a father i have issues with and living with a group of friends i really don't identify with anymore. i'm not that person i was in high school, and they have made it clear even up to recent events like a night out to "Indiana Jones 4" that none of them have matured past the "glory days." i'm just gonna become an isolated mess, i guess, is the fear. i hate going backwards. the truth is that i won't hang out with them anymore than i did when i lived up here.
who knows...
and now, a list.
Top 11 Reasons I Hated "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
1. Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas are all too far removed from what made the originals good. And David Koepp seems to be phoning it in again.
2. Everyone's old as fuck. ("Never Say Never Again" anyone?)
3. George Lucas' producing/story duties have once again demonstrated that his creative hand sours anything he's done since 1980; Indy 4 being the worst offender to date.
4. Speaking of story, the movie is apparently culled from 3 or 4 rejected scripts, giving the final product an unfocused, everything-and-the-watered-down-kitchen-sink quality.
5. The way they handle the return of Marion is senseless, brief, and unnatural. Followed by her really having no reason to be there and Karen Allen having no noticeable chemistry with Harrison Ford.
6. Shia LeBeouf playing a character that takes half the runtime to grow on you, just before he becomes an obnoxious and arbitrary offspring of Indy and Marion. It seems the makers said to themselves, "we've seen Indy and his dad, how bout we see Indy finally become THAT dad?" He even calls Mutt "junior" by the end of the movie. And, again, the way they handle this profound plot point is with the same empty disinterest they did with Marion's return.
7. CGI has replaced most practical stunts and backgrounds. It seems Lucas has convinced Spielberg that shooting nowhere but a green screen stage is a sound investment in awe-inspiring filmmaking.
8. The supporting characters, including great actors Ray Winstone and John Hurt, all have nothing interesting to do but expectedly talk about the plot and chew up the scenery. Winstone's flip-flopping of being a good guy cum bad guy cum good guy cum bad guy is ridiculous and uninspired by the end. John Hurt is a comatose statue, playing a background character only slightly more watchable than the actual backgrounds.
9. Speaking of exposition, Indy spends over 50% of the film talking about the plot and leading the viewer around by the hand on what clues mean what, and where cryptic writings are directing us to travel to. And, we're not talking difficult to extrapolate here, people; these puzzles are just a step above a piano riddle in "Resident Evil." Sure, the series has always had a bunch of this, especially the Grail quest of "Last Crusade," but it's never been as insulting as watching someone pace around in a room and have realizations to himself for 2 hours, like "National Treasure" and its sequel. It was made fun and SHOWN in the original Indys, not just talked about.
10. Communists in this interpretation are not nearly as threatening as the Nazis or even the Thuggee Cult of "Temple of Doom." Although Cate Blanchett proves she is a shining diamond in this mess, the rest are stock characters; muscular, evil bad guys. And, their motivation for chasing these goddamn alien skulls seems set in motion by nothing more than an obsessive impulse. Plus, why does the alien kill Blanchett? Because she is truly evil? Because she wants to know everything? Who cares? (she burns up like someone who just looked at the Ark. another recapture of the old days?) Back on the topic of Communists, why didn't they borrow some from the James Bond series? He's been fighting scary Commies for decades. And, this enemy seems like nothing more than to re-establish Indiana Jones' American patriotism and shoehorn in his service to his country during WWII. It's like those Sherlock Holmes movies where he fights Nazis...and we saw how excellent those installments were.
11. and of course, UFOs, Tarzan swinging with monkeys, and a Lame Marriage ending (see that lack of chemistry above).
to think back on 5 years living here, i realize how positive it turned out for me. i met some good fucking people. i got to see the good and bad of baltimore's film scene. i got an education and i got an ego -- not necessarily the "fuck you, i'm better" one, but the "i'm proud of the shit i do" kind. pretentious. that being said, i've become more of a critic, especially about crappy student films and mediocre independent projects. on top of that, i guess i'm becoming more of an old man: i hate most of the music this generation listens to, i go to bed at 8pm half the week, i shit in my diapers.
there are more weird people up here than down in bowie. and that's a good thing. yuppies and soccer moms, gangstas and wiggers, morons and jocks all tend to get a bit boring.
moving out sucks. the process has been a little stressful, but i got a storage container delivered so it isn't that difficult as i slowly fill it up with furniture and accoutrements. moving though has been a cleansing experience, as i sell off or trash the bleeding albatross on my back that is excess DVDs, books, papers, half-written ideas, and dust bunny-covered boxes i have no interest in or use for anymore. it's been alot about wiping the slate clean, keeping only the stuff i love. like dildos and butt plugs.
we have neighbors i'm mostly indifferent about and they usually react the same. the family above us, however, has been the kindest, coolest group of people i've ever lived next to. the mother, who i blogged about a long time ago blowing up on some outgoing punk kid, is really just one of the most empowered and solid people i've met. the son and the father are good, funny people too. and as we move out, they are moving as well, sometime this summer, to PA. definitely a good memory to keep.
anyway, as i end up in bowie again, with my family and high school friends, i have some fears creeping back on me. i don't know if i'm going to be happy that close to a father i have issues with and living with a group of friends i really don't identify with anymore. i'm not that person i was in high school, and they have made it clear even up to recent events like a night out to "Indiana Jones 4" that none of them have matured past the "glory days." i'm just gonna become an isolated mess, i guess, is the fear. i hate going backwards. the truth is that i won't hang out with them anymore than i did when i lived up here.
who knows...
and now, a list.
Top 11 Reasons I Hated "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
1. Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas are all too far removed from what made the originals good. And David Koepp seems to be phoning it in again.
2. Everyone's old as fuck. ("Never Say Never Again" anyone?)
3. George Lucas' producing/story duties have once again demonstrated that his creative hand sours anything he's done since 1980; Indy 4 being the worst offender to date.
4. Speaking of story, the movie is apparently culled from 3 or 4 rejected scripts, giving the final product an unfocused, everything-and-the-watered-down-kitchen-sink quality.
5. The way they handle the return of Marion is senseless, brief, and unnatural. Followed by her really having no reason to be there and Karen Allen having no noticeable chemistry with Harrison Ford.
6. Shia LeBeouf playing a character that takes half the runtime to grow on you, just before he becomes an obnoxious and arbitrary offspring of Indy and Marion. It seems the makers said to themselves, "we've seen Indy and his dad, how bout we see Indy finally become THAT dad?" He even calls Mutt "junior" by the end of the movie. And, again, the way they handle this profound plot point is with the same empty disinterest they did with Marion's return.
7. CGI has replaced most practical stunts and backgrounds. It seems Lucas has convinced Spielberg that shooting nowhere but a green screen stage is a sound investment in awe-inspiring filmmaking.
8. The supporting characters, including great actors Ray Winstone and John Hurt, all have nothing interesting to do but expectedly talk about the plot and chew up the scenery. Winstone's flip-flopping of being a good guy cum bad guy cum good guy cum bad guy is ridiculous and uninspired by the end. John Hurt is a comatose statue, playing a background character only slightly more watchable than the actual backgrounds.
9. Speaking of exposition, Indy spends over 50% of the film talking about the plot and leading the viewer around by the hand on what clues mean what, and where cryptic writings are directing us to travel to. And, we're not talking difficult to extrapolate here, people; these puzzles are just a step above a piano riddle in "Resident Evil." Sure, the series has always had a bunch of this, especially the Grail quest of "Last Crusade," but it's never been as insulting as watching someone pace around in a room and have realizations to himself for 2 hours, like "National Treasure" and its sequel. It was made fun and SHOWN in the original Indys, not just talked about.
10. Communists in this interpretation are not nearly as threatening as the Nazis or even the Thuggee Cult of "Temple of Doom." Although Cate Blanchett proves she is a shining diamond in this mess, the rest are stock characters; muscular, evil bad guys. And, their motivation for chasing these goddamn alien skulls seems set in motion by nothing more than an obsessive impulse. Plus, why does the alien kill Blanchett? Because she is truly evil? Because she wants to know everything? Who cares? (she burns up like someone who just looked at the Ark. another recapture of the old days?) Back on the topic of Communists, why didn't they borrow some from the James Bond series? He's been fighting scary Commies for decades. And, this enemy seems like nothing more than to re-establish Indiana Jones' American patriotism and shoehorn in his service to his country during WWII. It's like those Sherlock Holmes movies where he fights Nazis...and we saw how excellent those installments were.
11. and of course, UFOs, Tarzan swinging with monkeys, and a Lame Marriage ending (see that lack of chemistry above).