(no subject)
The feel of your collarbone, the rejection of exertion, no laboring of pretenses - I don't know if that is love, but it is peace and just as equally rare. And needed.
I treasure the timelines, but I can't recall every minute, or even every day. 8746 awakenings and REMs. Somewhere in that shuffle is everything I've ever accepted and denied. Adding what
counted is pretty minimizing at times and two weeks shy of 24, I'm beginning to sense what loss of time feels like.
I don't think I looked anyone in the eye until I was 18. I'm re-discovering who I was before age
10. Running and kicking with my arms out and dirt always in my hair. Sweatpants and bowling and ski-ball. Silly piano songs and biking excursions. Somewhere in the pre-teens, I let everyone
else make me afraid of my own world. Nearly everything I'm interested now in was born out of
the reclusive nature I assumed in those years. The science, the music, the art, the language and the pages - It is all comprised of complex versions of the questions that were formed then. The
curious 9 year old just evolved into the curious 24 year old and we shouldn't pretend that we're
not just complicated children.
I fight being like those masses I've always categorized, but there's those moments when you bow your head or feel such relief when you kiss someone where everything human is illuminated. The stigma of living your own life - now there's an idea. I probably thought of it when I was 8.