My sincere apologies to Mr. Richard T. Nasti:
Earlier today, I received a startling email, respecting a soon-to-begin "Presidential Search" at Stony Brook University. Not startling because of the subject, as our now-lame-duck President Kenny was recently forced decided to resign, but because of the sender of the email. Here it is, in all its glory:
Date: Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:22:06 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Richard T. Nasti, Chair of the Presidential Search Committee"
To: "Walsh,Ryan"
Subject: Presidential Search
To All Faculty, Staff and Students
Dear Colleague:
As you know, after fourteen years as leader of our great University, President Shirley Kenny has announced her plans to retire and move on to other challenges. Under Dr. Kenny's stewardship, and with the hard work and support of the entire campus community, Stony Brook University has ascended to the ranks of the top ranked universities in the world. Stony Brook has earned a national and international reputation, achieving admission into the prestigious 62 member Association of American Universities and boasting some of the best undergraduate and graduate programs in the nation.
As Chairman of the Stony Brook Council, the 10-person oversight and advisory body of the University, I will serve as Chair of the Presidential Search Committee to select our next leader. As a 1978 graduate of Stony Brook, Chair of the Stony Brook Council, and Chair of the Presidential Search Committee, I am committed to a transparent, inclusive process which will include all of the stakeholders of the University. In the near future, the members of the Presidential Search Committee will be announced, and the Committee will start its work in September.
The State University Guidelines charge the Search Committee with recommending presidential candidates to the Stony Brook Council which then must forward no fewer than three candidates to the Chancellor and SUNY Board of Trustees. The SUNY Board of Trustees then makes the official appointment of President from the recommendations by the Stony Brook Council.
A Presidential Search Committee website will be established which will provide information on the search. One of the first tasks of the Search Committee will be an institutional analysis which will help it ascertain those job elements against which to measure the applicants. Toward that end, a questionnaire will be made available to the campus community to receive its input. There will also be other opportunities to provide your
thoughts on this critical matter.
Dr. Kenny has had a remarkable presidency, but perhaps her most important achievement has been to elevate the stature of Stony Brook University to the point where we fully anticipate a group of world-class applicants to lead Stony Brook. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me at REDACTED
Thank you and enjoy the balance of the summer.
Sincerely,
Richard T. Nasti
Ignoring the fact that I have no idea what he means by "balance of the summer", and all the unnecessary brown-nosing of our now-defunct president, I think that if we give him a generous helping of our doubt-benefit, he may prove to do a good job. Here's hoping.
Regardless, to the point of this discussion, I do feel the need to apologize for some comments I made in electronic messages earlier today. See, when I read Mr. Nasti's name, I immediately, as you may have done, noticed that his name could be shortened to, and pronounced the same way as "Dick Nasty". For this, I do not apologize. That's damn funny. What I must retract is the comparison between him and the writer of the popular 90's club song "My Dick" [1], whose nom de plume is "Dirt Nasty", not, as I had thought at the time, "Dick Nasty" (in my defense, it's hard to come up with a good excuse for searching youtube for 'dick nasty' while at work, so I was without sufficient research possibilities). I offer my sincere and heartfelt apologies to Mr. Nasti and the entire Nasti family, for any distress these undeserved comments may have wrought.
I feel that Mr. Nasti may have been accidentally misassociated with some of Mr. Nasty's illicit behaviors, which, if you are to believe his video, include drug abuse, unprotected sex, and other lewd behavior. It may also have been construed that Mr. Nasti's male genitalia, like Mr. Nasty's, is, "like, super size", or, perhaps, may have served a whole luncheon. Other things one might have inferred Mr. Nasti's penis may have done include bench pressing large masses, getting stuck in chimneys, and parting large bodies of water.
None of these are true about Mr. Nasti's penis, and those who may have read my comments are advised to strike those notions, and any similar, from their memories. Please let it be known that Mr. Nasti's dick is of ambiguous, but most likely small, stature, and that it has a very respectable, Christian history, without any of the "colourful" events described in Mr. Nasty's song.
References:
[1]: YouTube - Mickey Avalon - My Dick - Music Video
NB: I am leaving this unprotected so as to ensure that the maximum number of those affected by my recent slanderous commentary can be informed regarding these corrections. If there are any complaints, it will have its status reverted to "Friends-only".
Date: Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:22:06 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Richard T. Nasti, Chair of the Presidential Search Committee"
To: "Walsh,Ryan"
Subject: Presidential Search
To All Faculty, Staff and Students
Dear Colleague:
As you know, after fourteen years as leader of our great University, President Shirley Kenny has announced her plans to retire and move on to other challenges. Under Dr. Kenny's stewardship, and with the hard work and support of the entire campus community, Stony Brook University has ascended to the ranks of the top ranked universities in the world. Stony Brook has earned a national and international reputation, achieving admission into the prestigious 62 member Association of American Universities and boasting some of the best undergraduate and graduate programs in the nation.
As Chairman of the Stony Brook Council, the 10-person oversight and advisory body of the University, I will serve as Chair of the Presidential Search Committee to select our next leader. As a 1978 graduate of Stony Brook, Chair of the Stony Brook Council, and Chair of the Presidential Search Committee, I am committed to a transparent, inclusive process which will include all of the stakeholders of the University. In the near future, the members of the Presidential Search Committee will be announced, and the Committee will start its work in September.
The State University Guidelines charge the Search Committee with recommending presidential candidates to the Stony Brook Council which then must forward no fewer than three candidates to the Chancellor and SUNY Board of Trustees. The SUNY Board of Trustees then makes the official appointment of President from the recommendations by the Stony Brook Council.
A Presidential Search Committee website will be established which will provide information on the search. One of the first tasks of the Search Committee will be an institutional analysis which will help it ascertain those job elements against which to measure the applicants. Toward that end, a questionnaire will be made available to the campus community to receive its input. There will also be other opportunities to provide your
thoughts on this critical matter.
Dr. Kenny has had a remarkable presidency, but perhaps her most important achievement has been to elevate the stature of Stony Brook University to the point where we fully anticipate a group of world-class applicants to lead Stony Brook. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me at REDACTED
Thank you and enjoy the balance of the summer.
Sincerely,
Richard T. Nasti
Ignoring the fact that I have no idea what he means by "balance of the summer", and all the unnecessary brown-nosing of our now-defunct president, I think that if we give him a generous helping of our doubt-benefit, he may prove to do a good job. Here's hoping.
Regardless, to the point of this discussion, I do feel the need to apologize for some comments I made in electronic messages earlier today. See, when I read Mr. Nasti's name, I immediately, as you may have done, noticed that his name could be shortened to, and pronounced the same way as "Dick Nasty". For this, I do not apologize. That's damn funny. What I must retract is the comparison between him and the writer of the popular 90's club song "My Dick" [1], whose nom de plume is "Dirt Nasty", not, as I had thought at the time, "Dick Nasty" (in my defense, it's hard to come up with a good excuse for searching youtube for 'dick nasty' while at work, so I was without sufficient research possibilities). I offer my sincere and heartfelt apologies to Mr. Nasti and the entire Nasti family, for any distress these undeserved comments may have wrought.
I feel that Mr. Nasti may have been accidentally misassociated with some of Mr. Nasty's illicit behaviors, which, if you are to believe his video, include drug abuse, unprotected sex, and other lewd behavior. It may also have been construed that Mr. Nasti's male genitalia, like Mr. Nasty's, is, "like, super size", or, perhaps, may have served a whole luncheon. Other things one might have inferred Mr. Nasti's penis may have done include bench pressing large masses, getting stuck in chimneys, and parting large bodies of water.
None of these are true about Mr. Nasti's penis, and those who may have read my comments are advised to strike those notions, and any similar, from their memories. Please let it be known that Mr. Nasti's dick is of ambiguous, but most likely small, stature, and that it has a very respectable, Christian history, without any of the "colourful" events described in Mr. Nasty's song.
References:
[1]: YouTube - Mickey Avalon - My Dick - Music Video
NB: I am leaving this unprotected so as to ensure that the maximum number of those affected by my recent slanderous commentary can be informed regarding these corrections. If there are any complaints, it will have its status reverted to "Friends-only".