Mar 05, 2006 17:47
I don't even know where to begin. It's been so long since I wrote about anything in my life. I've been so busy lately. I haven't been home for more than an hour at a time in weeks. Here's a typical day in the life of me:
7:00am: wake up at Harold's. Drive home to Henrietta and get ready for work.
8:45am: Arrive at First Allied for another funtastic day of being an accounting biotch. still enjoy the work, just seems there is a lot MORE of it now. We just recruited two new accounting peeps so we've been training them and trying to get our Year End Reconciliations done. A LOT of work that results in me staying late throughout the week and coming in on Saturdays too. sounds shitty but i dont mind. its good pay, the work is easy -- just time consuming. Sometimes it gets stressful but the people at the office are generally pretty cool. they dont pressure you to get things done if they know they are the ones who keep piling on more tasks. so its just one task at a time until they all get done.
5:30pm: Done with First allied. onto better things. I hit up home and shower. Depending on what day of the week it is, I head out to Harold's pretty much immediately. On the nights he has to work at the restaurant I find plenty to do to keep me busy until he is available which is usually around 9ish. There's always tons of cleaning to do...dishes, laundry, picking up the place. or there's grocery shopping. Or once in a while i'll do a happy hour type thing with Lace and some other friends...or I'll go out for a few drinks on the weekend but that is a rare occassion. Im still not into the bar scene. I think its a huge waste of money. I'd rather spend time with people I care about doing something that doesnt involve pissing away cash for beverage, like a game night. hoping to get one of those started again soon.
9:00pm: pretty much always at Harold's at this point. we just chill...watch Family guy, movies, make dinner or talk until it's time to go to sleep.
so yeah thats pretty much it. doesn't sound like a whole lot, but it feels like it to me. I haven't even slept in my own bed in weeks. i cant remember the last time i did. I stay at Harold's every single night. I could have him come to my place, but i prefer to observe him in his own element. I learn so much about him this way. plus there is something about waking up earlier than i would if i were home for work...it really DOES wake me up to have to drive almost a half hour before i even get ready for work. I havn't had to drink coffee in weeks. I never feel tired. i dont know if its the longer waking up period i have now, or just having Harold in my life in general. lets dig into that a little deeper, shall we?
I met Harold late last fall. May sound lame but we met on myspace. lol..kinda dorky but whatev. i figured he was way out of my league the second i saw him but hey, he chose me first so i went with it. we emailed forever back and forth..everyday pages and pages of everything. i was dating dave at the time so i had relatively pure intentions. I wasnt exclusive with dave so i had the freedom to do what i chose, but i didn't really expect things to develope with harold because hes a bit younger than i am, and like i said..totally out of my league. but it turns out we work really well together. we understand eachother's thinking. we laugh A LOT. the chemistry is phenomenal. We can't seem to get enough of eachother. Things really started picking up like this around new years. we spent a few nights together and just when i thought i was in, i got ditched for another girl. good times. but i understood. we hadnt made any promises. i felt a little used but we continued talking and doing the friend thing. i was down with it but i was also interested in him still. he came back to me though. turns out the reason he "ditched" me in the first place is because he thought i was done with him and was going to return to dave. ah. miscommunication. how fun. so anyway things have been going really great since then. We aren't exclusive. we dont consider eachother boyfriend/girlfriend. when people ask me if im single, i say yes. he does the same Im sure. We have talked about it and though we care deeply for eachother we don't feel the need to label it. we're just enjoying eachother's company. we are monogomous, but not because we feel we have to be...because we choose to be. there arent any rules except to always respect eachother. always be honest. it seems to work great. the absolute truth of the situation is that i would give into the whole relationship thing with him in a heartbeat if he'd have me. im crazy about him. i like how he makes me feel. everyday has more purpose when i know he'll be part of it. he always wants to see me, always makes me feel needed and wanted. he's always so honest with me that i never have to wonder. he opens up so much to me and i know its not easy for him to be as close with me as he is. I admire him so much. He's a really hard worker. Works two jobs now, maintains his own 2 bedroom apartment and takes care of himself. He has even began investing large sums of money into his future. I didn't know 19 yr olds even thought of that stuff. I learn a lot from him and im thankful for that. I feel so included in his life. like im important to him. its a great feeling.
so that's that situation. I hope to bring him home sometime to meet all the people who are important to me in Old Forge.
so yeah in light of that situation, i ended up breaking up with dave. not that we were exclusive but we were still seeing eachother once in a while. I told him one week that i didnt think it was a good idea to see eachother in a romantic way anymore and just being friends would be better. I explained to him about Harold. I think he was in denial. he still doesnt seem to believe me . thinks im joking or something. he calls me and asks to get together. I tell him no. he doesnt get it. so eventually i had to explain to him again that it wasn't gonna happen between he and i. there was NO chemistry what so ever. it was TERRIBLE. we couldnt talk at all. we joked around a lot. he was funny and we laughed but that was it. i can do that with friends. so we broke up officially again the other day. but he still calls me and asks to hang out. idk what to do. i dont want to see him hurt but im not interested. i know i should just not see him at all but i dont mind being friends with him. problem is he doesn't just want to be friends. its kinda a pain in the ass. but oh well.
what else is going on? beth may be moving in with her boyfriend. our lease on the townehome is up in june. we have to know by april if we're renewing with the complex. i personally dont want to...as much as a pain in the ass it is to move, i dont really like the extra fees and regulations here. id like to find a better deal but finding time to do so is not easy. ive been thinking we could ask lacey to come live with us to take beth's place if she does indeed move out, but that isnt guarenteed. there are a lot of choices to be made this month about living and its getting down to the wire. i know i want to stay in rochester. im happy here. i miss home a lot still. A LOT. mostly the hardware store and everyone there. i forsee many weekend trips there this summer. but anyway..i wouldnt mind getting my own place at all. id love it. but then there's heather to think of. dont want to just ditch her. even if i cant stand her dog. dumb weiner. bites all my friends. but thats besides the point. she and i may just need to find a two bedroom place somewhere. we'll see what happens. soon. real soon.
im sure i could write a hell of a lot more but i gotta go do some other things. hope you havnt been too bored with my ramblings! :D