(no subject)
lilac wine by jeff buckley
& this strange effect by hooverphonics
= my thunderstorm music.
i love the sky right now
its an eery calm
and im just waiting for it to storm
i really miss nick
i miss kissing him
i miss being kissed
31 days till i can drive basically forever.
cuz my parents arent GHEY like that.
they are ghey enough to take away my cell phone
cancel nextel switch it to sprint
give me a gay free phone that looks like a toy
make me manually transfer 400 numbers
and not ever be able to bleep again
all for the same price a month as my reg phone
so ya know what i did
i didnt take it
and im on strike till i get my nextel back
yeah im a brat
stfu i have friends that dont even know what calling IS
they only know to bleep
id die.
aaaaand they took away the antenna for my wireless internet
but it still works. lol.
uhm. lets see.
i slept till 3:07pm today. no school for me.
ive been hanging out with the most random people lately.
i want us to be one person. only do things with each other. blabla.
but he already cant give up gcube. which is basically the entire problem anyway
so if i give up my life and my friends whats the point if he'll still have them.
but at the same time then... our relationship might kinda blow
we are so effing in love that it kills us
the only reason we ever fight is when we feel we arent getting back what we give in
if we suspect theres someone else we get jealous because we're afraid of losing each other
we get mad when we hang out with our friends because it feels like we're less of a priority
it all sounds ridiculous
but we love each other so much its dangerous
so i dont know where the happy medium is folks
i have no clue honestly
i love hanging out with random people
smoking weed everyday
smoking my newports and getting a nice buzz
blunt rides i could live without loll
but like hanging out with random people
its fun
i dont think i can deal with an in between with me and nick
when he's with his friends i get treated like crap
i feel like im crap
his friends hate me and try to sabotage me
he claims he cant even stop it
and basically bla
this summer might potentially blow ass
im going to myrtle beach for a week
and louise is coming to america for a month
ya kno the girl nick fell in love wiht in france
he's gonna be alone in croton with her
im going to be out of the STATE
so france alllll over again
then hes going away for another week with ben
blabla.
i feel like we'll either be perfect
or we need to just break up before the summer even happens
as to not get hurt more later on.
im a mess.
i need consistency
and i dont have it
thats what i need
to know that no matter what i will never have to deal with the loss i dealt with before
i need to know that no matter what or who... i will have that person. for better or for worse.
i love him so much that i hate him.
for ever questioning us
for ever telling me im not good enough
for ever tellling me he loved louise
for ever going to france
for ever possibly having her stay at his house
for possibly having her in croton while im not here
for her even coming to america
for him hanging out with his friends that hate me
for him having friends that hate me
for him treating me like shit when he's with his friends
for him making me look like a monster allllllllll the time
for him not being able to make us perfect
for making me love him as much as i do.
sorry. i needed to get that out.
at least i used eljay cuts bitchesss.
k peace.
& this strange effect by hooverphonics
= my thunderstorm music.
i love the sky right now
its an eery calm
and im just waiting for it to storm
i really miss nick
i miss kissing him
i miss being kissed
31 days till i can drive basically forever.
cuz my parents arent GHEY like that.
they are ghey enough to take away my cell phone
cancel nextel switch it to sprint
give me a gay free phone that looks like a toy
make me manually transfer 400 numbers
and not ever be able to bleep again
all for the same price a month as my reg phone
so ya know what i did
i didnt take it
and im on strike till i get my nextel back
yeah im a brat
stfu i have friends that dont even know what calling IS
they only know to bleep
id die.
aaaaand they took away the antenna for my wireless internet
but it still works. lol.
uhm. lets see.
i slept till 3:07pm today. no school for me.
ive been hanging out with the most random people lately.
i want us to be one person. only do things with each other. blabla.
but he already cant give up gcube. which is basically the entire problem anyway
so if i give up my life and my friends whats the point if he'll still have them.
but at the same time then... our relationship might kinda blow
we are so effing in love that it kills us
the only reason we ever fight is when we feel we arent getting back what we give in
if we suspect theres someone else we get jealous because we're afraid of losing each other
we get mad when we hang out with our friends because it feels like we're less of a priority
it all sounds ridiculous
but we love each other so much its dangerous
so i dont know where the happy medium is folks
i have no clue honestly
i love hanging out with random people
smoking weed everyday
smoking my newports and getting a nice buzz
blunt rides i could live without loll
but like hanging out with random people
its fun
i dont think i can deal with an in between with me and nick
when he's with his friends i get treated like crap
i feel like im crap
his friends hate me and try to sabotage me
he claims he cant even stop it
and basically bla
this summer might potentially blow ass
im going to myrtle beach for a week
and louise is coming to america for a month
ya kno the girl nick fell in love wiht in france
he's gonna be alone in croton with her
im going to be out of the STATE
so france alllll over again
then hes going away for another week with ben
blabla.
i feel like we'll either be perfect
or we need to just break up before the summer even happens
as to not get hurt more later on.
im a mess.
i need consistency
and i dont have it
thats what i need
to know that no matter what i will never have to deal with the loss i dealt with before
i need to know that no matter what or who... i will have that person. for better or for worse.
i love him so much that i hate him.
for ever questioning us
for ever telling me im not good enough
for ever tellling me he loved louise
for ever going to france
for ever possibly having her stay at his house
for possibly having her in croton while im not here
for her even coming to america
for him hanging out with his friends that hate me
for him having friends that hate me
for him treating me like shit when he's with his friends
for him making me look like a monster allllllllll the time
for him not being able to make us perfect
for making me love him as much as i do.
sorry. i needed to get that out.
at least i used eljay cuts bitchesss.
k peace.