Just Know we are here for you....
Hello, again.
Today I came to a realisation.
I never want to be a single parent. I love my little brother to death, but I could never imagine what it would be like to be his only source of love, and his only means of life.
I babysat for my mom today, all day. And although my little brother (who is going to be 19 months Jan.19th)was an angel who just wanted to play all day I found it particularly hard to perform even for his daily needs. For example, I couldn't make dinner as swiftly as I had planned because on my one hip I had to hold him so he could watch me scramble the eggs. I had a hard time wiping his face and hands after, but made it into an enjoyable game for him, and that was soon managable. He went to bed early, therefore the I was able to relax until my mom and Darrell came home from work. But this was a good day.. I really have a great respect for men and women who have to raise a child alone.
Which brings me to the point of this entry.
I didn't go through highschool with you.. I haven't know you since you were a youngin' but I have gotten to know you. You're the sweetest most loving lady I have ever met in my entire life. You are so giving, and you're an angel. I wouldn't just say that about anyone, believe me. You truely have so much respect from me, and I know tragedy respects you as well. I met you because of him, and I thank you for all the advice you have given me, and for putting up with me through Alex and my (wonderful) drinking contests (which I always happen to win), and you just.. listen. I know it's not my place, and it wasn't my place that night either when I spoke to him.. but you know, you're amazing... you know you have someone in you're life who is so special. She is going to grow up and if she is half as wonderful as you are, she's going to be amazing too. I don't know how you feel.. about the events of New years, or if you even heard the conversation I had (maybe I could tell you it sometime, because I think his perspective might be different then mine as to how things "went down").. but if you ever need somewhere to go, someone to talk to, somewhere to lay yours and her head, your welcome here. I'm just a phone call away, and so are so many of your friends....
Believe me when I tell you, you're a fucking super gal, and you deserve to be treated like a princess. Anything less is unexceptable. If you decide someday you want to live a life with just you and your baby girl, you have support, and you have so many open doors, trust me. Resources like you wouldn't believe.. :) I don't know what you're thinking or what place you are at right now subconsiously. It probably doesn't help you have everyones eyes constently peering in (even mine, and I apologize if this is totally appualing to read)... but we are only trying to look out for you. Red flags went off in my head on New Years.. when I saw you, and how upset you became, I know I lost control. If you ever want me to lay the smackdown...
Please, don't think I'm trying to be a bitch towards him, but I really want you to know.. there's always a place for you. I can't imagine how hard it would be to raise a baby alone, and I am sure that is a massively scarey thought, but since you are so beautiful, and so kind.. you wouldn't be alone for long.
Anyways, I'm always here for you. If you ever need to talk.
Don't be scared to ask anyone for help..
<3
Today I came to a realisation.
I never want to be a single parent. I love my little brother to death, but I could never imagine what it would be like to be his only source of love, and his only means of life.
I babysat for my mom today, all day. And although my little brother (who is going to be 19 months Jan.19th)was an angel who just wanted to play all day I found it particularly hard to perform even for his daily needs. For example, I couldn't make dinner as swiftly as I had planned because on my one hip I had to hold him so he could watch me scramble the eggs. I had a hard time wiping his face and hands after, but made it into an enjoyable game for him, and that was soon managable. He went to bed early, therefore the I was able to relax until my mom and Darrell came home from work. But this was a good day.. I really have a great respect for men and women who have to raise a child alone.
Which brings me to the point of this entry.
I didn't go through highschool with you.. I haven't know you since you were a youngin' but I have gotten to know you. You're the sweetest most loving lady I have ever met in my entire life. You are so giving, and you're an angel. I wouldn't just say that about anyone, believe me. You truely have so much respect from me, and I know tragedy respects you as well. I met you because of him, and I thank you for all the advice you have given me, and for putting up with me through Alex and my (wonderful) drinking contests (which I always happen to win), and you just.. listen. I know it's not my place, and it wasn't my place that night either when I spoke to him.. but you know, you're amazing... you know you have someone in you're life who is so special. She is going to grow up and if she is half as wonderful as you are, she's going to be amazing too. I don't know how you feel.. about the events of New years, or if you even heard the conversation I had (maybe I could tell you it sometime, because I think his perspective might be different then mine as to how things "went down").. but if you ever need somewhere to go, someone to talk to, somewhere to lay yours and her head, your welcome here. I'm just a phone call away, and so are so many of your friends....
Believe me when I tell you, you're a fucking super gal, and you deserve to be treated like a princess. Anything less is unexceptable. If you decide someday you want to live a life with just you and your baby girl, you have support, and you have so many open doors, trust me. Resources like you wouldn't believe.. :) I don't know what you're thinking or what place you are at right now subconsiously. It probably doesn't help you have everyones eyes constently peering in (even mine, and I apologize if this is totally appualing to read)... but we are only trying to look out for you. Red flags went off in my head on New Years.. when I saw you, and how upset you became, I know I lost control. If you ever want me to lay the smackdown...
Please, don't think I'm trying to be a bitch towards him, but I really want you to know.. there's always a place for you. I can't imagine how hard it would be to raise a baby alone, and I am sure that is a massively scarey thought, but since you are so beautiful, and so kind.. you wouldn't be alone for long.
Anyways, I'm always here for you. If you ever need to talk.
Don't be scared to ask anyone for help..
<3