FIC--Conversations with Dead People--Jack/Ianto (implied)
Title: Conversations with Dead People
Rating: R (Mostly for bad swears)
Spoilers: S1 Torchwood, thru “They Keep Killing Suzie”
Pairing: Jack/Ianto (implied)
Summary: Missing scene from TKKS. Ianto brings Suzie coffee.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: I need to give credit where credit is due here-this story had my plotbunnies bouncing madly in my brain for awhile, but wasn’t fully realized until I read the wonderful fic “Dancing on the Camel's Back" by santousha. As always, a big thank you to ares132006 for betaing. Comments are love!
Ianto was careful not to spill a drop of the cup of coffee he was carrying, (splash of cream, one artificial sweetener), and took a deep, steeling breath before entering the small interrogation room. He was trying not to stare at her ashen, pallid face, and the way she was slumped to the side of the chair, clearly unable to hold up her own head. He cleared his throat politely. “Coffee, ma’am?”
Suzie swiveled her eyes towards him and he felt a cold dread settle deep in his gut. That was nothing new, however. Suzie had always scared the shit out of him. “I would love some coffee, Ianto. How’ve you been?”
Ianto slid the coffee over toward her, but didn’t move any closer. “Just fine, ma’am. Thanks for asking.”
Her arm seemed a bit unsteady as she tried to wrestle the mug from the table, but managed to get a small sip into her mouth. She gave him what approximated a smile. “Why don’t you join me for a moment?”
Ianto hesitated, and knew this registered with Suzie by the way her mouth twisted into a smirk. He sighed and pulled out the chair opposite, the scraping noise of the metal legs on tiles loud in the small space. All things considered, having a chat with a deceased coworker while her brains slowly leaked out the back of her skull wasn’t the weirdest thing that he’d ever done at Torchwood. What was slightly disturbing was that this didn’t even make the top ten. “How’s the coffee, then?”
“Perfect as always.” She stared at him, daring him to blink. He held her gaze steadily, and he tried very hard to keep a bland smile plastered on his face. She let the time unfurl out a bit before bringing out the big guns. “So, by the way our fair Captain has left off with the undressing you with his eyes the second you enter a room, I’m guessing that either you didn’t live up to the hype, or he found your little science project in the basement.”
Ianto felt all of the color drain from his face. His eyes dropped to the table, and he took a few steadying breaths before looking up to face her once more, knowing he wasn’t keeping a handle on his anger, knowing he was letting her win. “Her name was Lisa.”
She shrugged. One thing he always respected about Suzie was she never pretended to give a fuck. “Well, as it appears that one, the world hasn’t been invaded by Cybermen, two, you still have your memory intact, and three, you didn’t get a bullet between the eyes, it seems to me that you’ve managed to survive the whole mess relatively unscathed.”
Ianto opened his mouth to argue, but saw the gleam in her eyes and stopped himself, not wanting to give her any more ammunition. He shrugged noncommittally. “I was suspended for a month.”
“Jack’s getting soft in his old age.” She ran her fingers over the lip of the mug, considering him. “You know, you coming here, with the distractingly well-cut suits and the ticking time bomb in the basement, was a dream come true for me and my little project.”
“Funny. I was thinking your obsession with raising the dead worked a fine diversion for me, as well.”
“I’ll bet.” She tried straightening, but her head lolled sickeningly on her shoulder. “So, what’s been happening around here? I miss anything interesting? Like how you got that limp?”
“We just returned from a camping trip that I believe was Jack’s clumsy attempt at a team building exercise.”
Her eyes were shining with amusement. “How’d that turn out?”
“Much as you’d expect. Me and Tosh were almost eaten by cannibals.”
“Ah. Yeah. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, Ianto, but leadership isn’t exactly where Jack’s talents lie.” Her voice was laced with an innuendo that was hard to miss.
Ianto ran his fingers through his tie, the end slipping through with a soft shushing noise. “I wouldn’t know.”
Suzie clucked her tongue. “Come on, Ianto. Don’t let me down now. What I always liked about you was that you had as many secrets as I did. I saw how you responded to his flirtations, welcomed them, even. How you stared at his arse like it was a bloody Picasso. Saw how you hated yourself for that as well.”
He pulled at the bottom of his jacket, straightening the nonexistent wrinkles. “Merely a distraction.”
“Nope. Sorry. You’re not that good.” Thankfully she decided to change tack. “So, how’s the new girl working out?”
Ianto pulled a small face. “Well, she’s rather…huggy.”
Suzie chuckled. “You must love that.” She gave him a knowing grin. “Jack doesn’t mind though, does he?” Ianto shrugged again, not wanting to go down that road. “She shagging Owen yet?”
Ianto was once again reminded that Suzie rarely missed a thing. On the whole, that had made her rather good at her job. “Apparently, there’s no accounting for taste.”
Something approaching respect flickered across her face. “Touché.” She lifted her mug a in silent salute. “So, did poor old Tosh ever get over her pining? Trust me, he’s not that good of a shag.”
Ianto pushed off from the table and made as if to stand, not wanting to enter a mud-slinging campaign over Tosh. He felt rather akin to her, these days. “Well, if you’re not needing anything else, I’ll be off.”
“Ianto, wait.” He noticed her color seemed a little better than when he had first sat down, and she seemed to be able to support her neck a bit more. “Let me give you a piece of advice: don’t give your heart to Jack. That’s one you won’t be able to walk away from unscathed.”
His stomach flipped unpleasantly. “Well, none’s the worry, then.” He stood, smoothing his jacket down over his hips and tightening the knot of his tie.
She looked at him with something that he would swear was pity if it were coming from anyone else. “I told you already: you’re not that good.”
Just then, Jack burst through the door with his usual aplomb, instantly filling the tiny space with his larger than life presence. He winked at Ianto. “So, you keep her warm for me?”
Ianto couldn’t help the grimace and eye roll. Apparently, even Jack didn’t have what it took to pull off a joke about necrophilia. And that was saying a lot. Ianto gave Suzie a curt nod and walked towards the door, turning back at the last second. “Will you be needing anything else from me, sir?”
Jack had already taken the seat he had recently vacated, his eyes glued on Suzie. “Not right now, Ianto. Thanks.” Ianto twisted the handle on the door and pushed it open just as Jack glanced up, giving him another wink. “But be sure and ask again later.”
As he exited, Ianto’s hand dropped to his pocket, his thumb slipping over the smooth metal of the stopwatch he had stashed there.