your weary widow marches on
Don't really know what to say about these past few weeks. Am still working and have quite suddenly turned into the proverbial dumping ground for my father's issues--not that I mind, but damn. When did I become the stable one? Oh, yeah, after I started working. Weird how that changed Dad's perception of me. As his employee I am suddenly more trustworthy/ mature than when I was simply his layabout daughter. Understand this is not said in malice or resentment; I feel quite drained of both.
Despite what he says or thinks, my father is quite simple in many ways. He is never satisfied with what he earns, has, or recieves, because in his mind there is always something "better" to be had. Because of this I will never be able to make him proud of me to a point at which he stops pushing me to do better. This isn't a bad thing considering fathers are supposed to encourage their children to achieve. But the real tragedy of the situation is that he'll never be proud/ happy with himself, either, nor will he ever realize how silly he's being, because the thing is, he has to work and achieve to live the life he wants. Like this person who's constantly wandering, passing up opportunities and places in favor of an ideal destination that doesn't really exist.
But I'm babbling. It's not really consequential. Still can't really bring myself to think about my sister in great detail. Her current status isn't good.
Have opened a checking account; have a debit card and checkbook and know how to use both. Am getting better at driving and am not quite so scared anymore. Progress? I hope so.
School starts August 3rd WHAT THE HELL.
Despite what he says or thinks, my father is quite simple in many ways. He is never satisfied with what he earns, has, or recieves, because in his mind there is always something "better" to be had. Because of this I will never be able to make him proud of me to a point at which he stops pushing me to do better. This isn't a bad thing considering fathers are supposed to encourage their children to achieve. But the real tragedy of the situation is that he'll never be proud/ happy with himself, either, nor will he ever realize how silly he's being, because the thing is, he has to work and achieve to live the life he wants. Like this person who's constantly wandering, passing up opportunities and places in favor of an ideal destination that doesn't really exist.
But I'm babbling. It's not really consequential. Still can't really bring myself to think about my sister in great detail. Her current status isn't good.
Have opened a checking account; have a debit card and checkbook and know how to use both. Am getting better at driving and am not quite so scared anymore. Progress? I hope so.
School starts August 3rd WHAT THE HELL.