home alone
once again Im home alone, on a saturday night. But you know what, I dont mind it that much. Sure Im bored, but its better than being somewhere i dont want to be, and regretting going there. maybe I'll clean my room, or do some laundry, watch a movie or two, and play a video game. I really dont see what's wrong with that. I dont see any point in fighting, I dont see any point in hating, or making fun of. Is it because of lack of confidence? I think so. Maybe not, but I think so. i dont like enemies, i like friends, but i dont even know what friends are. i dont know why people change for the worst, i dont know why people make stupid decisions... but i guess thats their choice, and i have mine. I like music, I like relating it to things in my life. I like trying to find lyrics that match up to my situations. I dont like being by myself, but that, as i have said before, is what i usually am. moms out with someone, sisters out and i dont care where she went. she expects me to be her scapegoat and then be her best friend. well its not gonna work anymore. goodbye to that. last week someone said something to me that really made me think. "ashley, a lot of people take advantage of you." this is something thats been bothering me for a while, so maybe thats why i spend all this time by myself. Im the only one I can trust. Im the only one I can cry to, Im the only one who can make myself feel better. I, me, thats the only person who really makes a difference in my life. MY LIFE. no one elses.