When Wesley didn't answer right away, Buffy was sure he was going to say no. She wouldn't blame him, considering the way she'd treated him a few years before. Buffy knew if she could change things, she would but she couldn't. All she could do now is hope he'd say yes, and if he didn't, then she would leave and find somewhere else to go.
But, when Wesley finally answered her, Buffy grinned. He wanted her to stay there and work with him. "As long as there's some money. I have a little left over at the bank in Sunnydale but it's not going to last very long," she said as she pulled herself up onto her knees. For the first time in a month, Buffy was actually looking forward to the future.
"Thanks, Wes. And maybe I can start my training about and you can help me. Sort of like in a Watcher capacity." She smiled and bent down to slowly kiss him. As her tongue slipped into his mouth, Buffy realized what she'd said and mentally kicked herself. She was afraid Wesley was going to think she was teasing him.
Breaking the kiss, she pulled away and looked down at him. "I...I'm sorry, Wes. I didn't mean to say that. I mean...guess I did but it wasn't said to be mean to you because of what happened before. I just...last year I didn't train at all and I almost got everyone killed. I was under the impression a Slayer didn't have to train all the time, and I was wrong. I told Giles I wouldn't be a Slayer anymore if Dawn died, but I miss being part of something. And, I don't want to mess anything up because I've become a big slacker. But, you don't have to. I'm probably putting too much on you in one night and you probably think I'm some psycho stalkery type, who's going to cling to you and boil your pet rabbit."
"There should be some. I hope," Wesley said, looking up at her as she knelt over him. "Maybe I should look into finally setting up that website like I had been considering. I'd have to find someone to code it for us, though..."
He paused, considering the things they could so to get more clients but was quickly distracted as Buffy started talking about training and...
Watcher? She wanted him to act like a Watcher to her?
She was kissing him again before he could say anything, his body responding to her even as his mind spun. Watcher? How could he be her Watcher? He had so spectacularly messed that up before. She actually wanted him to be that now? Why? How? Was she teasing him? Was all this a big joke?
Then she explained to him why she wanted to train again, and as he looked up at her, he was suddenly struck by something - she actually wanted him to be her Watcher in a way. Well, more she wanted him to help her train, but still...
Reaching up, he cupped her cheek, gazing up into her eyes. "I'd...I'd like to help you, Buffy, if you want me to. I don't know...I'm not sure if I could be an actual Watcher, not that it sounds like that's what you actually want. But I'd be more than happy to train with you. Would probably do me some good as well." He kissed her softly.
"As for the rest of it...why don't we see where things go? I'd...I'd actually quite like it if you stayed here. If you want, that is. But if you decide that you'd rather move out once we start bringing money in...I'd understand."
When Wes agreed to train with her, Buffy smiled. Knowing she was going to have someone there with her, helping her, made some of the numbness go away. Maybe it wouldn't be like having a real Watcher, but even Giles really wasn't her Watcher after high school. He helped her train, but allowed her to make her own decisions when it came to patrolling, and other things.
"Thank you, Wes," Buffy quietly said after they'd pulled apart. "You...this means a lot to me."
She didn't know what else she could say. Instead of speaking, she leaned down and deeply kissed him. When they both needed to breathe, Buffy pulled back and softly stroked his face before lying back down and cuddling close to him. She thought about food for a moment, but decided she was content where she was and could eat in the morning.
"Goodnight, Wes," Buffy said around a yawn. She pulled the sheet over them and draped an arm and leg over him before falling into a dreamless sleep.
Wesley found himself lying awake for a while, Buffy in his arms after she had fallen asleep. Part of him still couldn't believe the turn his life had suddenly taken that night. He had gone from being to alone to having Buffy Summers back in his life. And not back in his life, but in his bed as well.
Was he doing the right thing, letting Buffy stay here with him? Or was he being selfish in allowing her to stay and try to help him put back together an agency that had fallen apart? He wanted to believe that this was right. That Buffy and he had met again because this was supposed to happen, and that they would be good for each other. He didn't want Buffy to end up hating him even more than she had because somehow, he ended up hurting again...even worse this time because of the feelings involved.
Finally, he drifted off to sleep, the worry and hope still conflicting in his mind. His dreams were vivid that night - a mix of good and bad with Buffy there in them. The one thing that was the same in all of them, though, was that Buffy was the good. Always the good.
Suddenly, the phone on the nightstand started ringing, and Wesley jolted awake, feeling something pressing down on him. He looked down, realizing that it was Buffy, her head cradled against his chest, her leg still over his. Reaching over, he picked up the phone receiver and answered the call.
"Hello?" he asked.
No one answered.
"Hello?"
When no one spoke again, Wesley shook his head and hung up the phone with a sigh. "Bloody wrong numbers." He looked down at Buffy again and smiled. "Sorry if that woke you up. Erm...are you hungry?"
Buffy had awoke long before the phone rang. She had wanted to wake Wes up but decided not to. Instead, she continued to lay there, wrapped up in him, as she thought about what had happened the night before. She wasn't sorry for what they had done, even if it did seem a little strange to be waking up in Wesley's arms. For the first time in a month, Buffy actually felt safe.
But, she couldn't help but to wonder where this was going. They'd established part of their relationship the night before when he agreed to train with her. But, was that all it was going to be? Or was it going to be more? Were they going to end up becoming a couple, or just train and have sex together? Buffy didn't know if she was ready to be in a relationship yet. That is, if Wes even wanted something serious with her.
When the phone rang, she continued to lie there. She smiled up at Wesley when he spoke to her. "I was already awake," Buffy said as she stretched her arms out. "And breakfast would be of the good."
There was a brief silence between them, and she didn't know what to say. The last time she'd just slept with a guy without dating him she didn't spend the night. This was different. "I...do you have pancake mix or some eggs? I could make something," she said as she continued to look at him.
This was the guy who'd seen her naked the night before and the sex had been good. He was still there, and wasn't kicking her out or turning into an evil fiend. Buffy didn't know what she was worrying about. Leaning up, she gave him a long and deep kiss. "Good morning," she murmured against his lips.
When Buffy asked Wesley what he had in his cupboards, he had to think, not able to remember what all he might have actually had in the kitchen. He was still thinking when she kissed him, and for a moment, he forgot again about food and wrapped his arms around her, enjoying her lips on his.
The last time he had been with a woman this way had been Virginia, and they had started out their relationship much the same way - by sleeping together. Of course, at the time, she had thought she was sleeping with Angel, not him, so it hadn't exactly been an auspicious start to things even though they had managed to make a go of things for a while. It had all fallen apart in the end, though. Virginia hadn't been able to deal with the reality of his world even though she understood it.
Buffy, though. Buffy was the world he lived in - she had been called to fight the evil that he faced every day. She knew what it was like. She had been hurt because of it, she had died because of it, and she had lost family because of it.
He didn't know exactly what would happen between them. Whether...this...would be more. He found himself almost hoping so but didn't want to ruin what he had found. He'd let this play out. See where it went.
"I think this might be the best morning I've had in a while," he told her when they finally pulled apart. He smiled at her, running his hand through her hair, then turned and looked toward the bedroom door. "Although I'm not sure what I might have in the kitchen. Shall we look?"
Getting up, he found his dressing gown, which he gave to Buffy, before pulling out a pair of sweatpants and stepping into them. They then went out to the kitchen, where Wesley started looking through the cupboards...and started to feel a bit embarrassed.
"I...erm...don't seem to have..." he said as he closed another one. "Ah...I have some cereal."
Taking it down, he looked at the expiration date on the top flap. Three months ago. He set it down with a sigh and looked over at Buffy.
"I think I need to go grocery shopping. Would you like to go get something to eat? There's a few places nearby that are faily decent for the price."
"I can't believe Mister Harris tried to stiff us!" Buffy said as she got out of Wesley's Jeep. She pulled the weapons out and started toward the front door of the apartment building. "Thank God I scared him enough to get our money. I so need to buy a new pair of boots."
Buffy couldn't believe how far Wes and her had come since they ran into each other three weeks before. They'd become a team and she trusted him with her life, and hoped he felt the same. There were times when she still couldn't believe she shared a bed with Wesley, but it felt right.
When they got to the door, there was a note sticking to door, which was addressed to Buffy. Furrowing her brow, she took it down and looked at Wes. "I didn't think anyone knew I was here," she said as she stepped inside of the apartment. "I wonder who it's from."
Opening the piece of paper, she began to read it. "'Buffy, I waited for Wes or you to come back, but I had to get back to Sunnydale. It's about Xander. A few days after you left, Cordy came to him.'." Buffy looked up at Wes and furrowed her brow before she continued. "'She gave him her visions and he's not taking them well. But that's the least of our worries. Xander had a vision about you and Sunnydale. Buffy, if you don't come back, then the town will be taken over by demons. We need you, Buffy. Willow.'"
Buffy felt her heart clench in her chest as she looked over at Wesley. "I...if Xander's in trouble, and if the town's in trouble too, I have to go back," she said.
Shaking his head as he followed Buffy into the building, Wesley laughed. "You did a spectacular job. I have a feeling that we're going to be seeing a lot more of our payments with you around as the debt collector."
Thanks to Buffy, they now had quite a bit of money - enough to pay the rent and bills on both his place and the hotel for the next month, get groceries and buy Buffy her new boots. A few years ago, he would have been a bit askance at the idea of money going to something like that, but all things considered, she deserved it. And also, demon blood was very bad for clothes and shoes.
He was considering asking her if she wanted to go out to celebrate - maybe go to a nice restaurant, something akin to a real date since they had mainly been working and sleeping together over the last three weeks. However, when they got up to the flat, Buffy found the note instead, and when they got inside, their attention was focused on that. He set his bag down on the table as she began to read it outloud, his brow furrowing when it mentioned that Cordy had "visited" Xander.
Cordy was dead.
Turning around, he listened to the rest of the note. Not quite sure what to make of it. Xander had the visions now? "Are...are you sure it's from her?" he asked before he realized what he was shaking and shook his head. "Of course you must be." She'd undoubtedly know her own best friend's handwriting. And who else would come looking for her - no one here in Los Angeles knew who she was anymore.
But what it was coming down to was that she was going to have to leave. After three weeks, she was going to have to go back to Sunnydale, do what she had been called to do and protect the world from the Hellmouth. Meanwhile, he'd be left alone once again.
He'd been alone most of his life, though. He'd get used to it again. It had just been nice to have someone there - to feel part of a team with her when things had gone so wrong originally. It had felt like he had been given a chance to put things right with her.
"If you have to go, Buffy, then go," he told her, reaching out and touching her cheek gently. He realized how much he was going to miss her. He really didn't want her to leave him. He wanted her to stay. But he couldn't be selfish. "Is there anything I can do to help? Before you leave? There were some things we used to do to help Cordelia after she'd had a vision to help lessen the pain. Perhaps I could write them down for you."
Buffy put the note in her pocket and waited for Wes to tell her they should start packing so they could leave. But instead, he started to talk about her leaving and made it sound like he wasn't going to go with her. And when he softly touched her cheek, she like she was going to burst out into tears. Didn't he want to be with her anymore?
"But," she whispered as she looked at him. Tears stung her eyes as she looked up at him. "I don't want a list. I want you, Wes. You're going to come with me, aren't you?" She didn't want to leave without him. Buffy didn't want to think of what life would be like without Wesley by her side. And she didn't care what her friends might think about them being together.
"Wes, look..." Buffy said as she took his hands and tugged him over to the couch. "I...these past three weeks have been wonderful. For the first time in my life, I was able to be who I wanted, and that's because of you. I know we didn't get along before but things are different now. I want you in my life. I like falling asleep with you, and waking up with you, and you totally get what it's like to be a Slayer. You understand it."
She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. "I know I'm supposed to be strong, but I'm stronger with you in my life. Plus, I think I'm falling for you and it's not fair if I have to leave and we don't get to find out if we could have a real relationship." Buffy took another deep breath and linked her fingers with Wesley's. "Come with me. You can help us with Xander, and all the other things. I don't want to leave you behind, Wes."
Wesley looked down at Buffy in stunned silence for a moment when she said she didn't want his list. She wanted him? She wanted him to go with her back to Sunnydale? He let her pull him over to the couch, feeling his heart hitch in his chest as she spoke.
No one had ever said anything like that to him before. And once upon a time, he would have never dreamed of Buffy Summers saying anything like that to him. The girl who once would have been thrilled if he had disappeared the moment they had met in the library at the high school now wanted him to actually stay in her life. Be part of it.
"Buffy, I..." he started to say, not completely sure what to say to her. He had never been as happy as he had in the last three weeks, knowing that she was there to share their days and nights, knowing that she understood. He wanted to go with her. He would be happy to go with her if that was what she wanted.
But before he could even figure out where to start in that regard, she was speaking again, and he felt his throat tighten in amazement. He knew that he had been developing feelings for her over the last few weeks, but to here it from her, to know that she seemed to feel the same way...
He wrapped his fingers around hers, staring at them for a minute before raising his eyes up to focus on hers. Perhaps this was why they hadn't got along as Watcher and Slayer...because that sort of relationship would never have allowed this, at least not in the Council's eyes. He was never met to be her Watcher. He was meant to be something else. Something they were still trying to figure out, but he knew they would.
"Truth be told," he finally said, "I didn't want you to leave me. It's probably selfish and sounds a little...weird, but these past three weeks have been the best of my life. I like working with you and being with you. I...I know that what's developing between us...I want to give it a chance too, see where it leads."
He tugged her closer, practically into his lap, and kissed her lips softly before resting his forehead to hers. "Which is all to say - yes, I want to go back to Sunnydale with you."
Buffy waited with baited breath to see what Wes was going to say. She was afraid he would laugh at her, or tell her to leave and never come back. Buffy didn't know what she would do if Wes sent her away, and she didn't want to find out. So, when he said he wanted to go with her, she grinned and returned his kiss. She wanted to stay in that spot with him for as long as she could, but she slipped off.
"I'm going to call Willow and tell her we'll be there by tomorrow morning," Buffy said before she picked up the cordless phone and went into the bedroom.
The conversation was short since Willow was on her way to bed after the drive from Sunnydale to LA and back again. She sounded happy to know Buffy was coming along with, and when Buffy said she was bringing Wes along to help with the visions, and research, Willow didn't seem to mind. After all, she was one of the few who didn't seem to mind Wes when he'd come to Sunnydale.
Once the conversation was finished, Buffy came out of the bedroom and smiled at Wesley. "Willow is expecting us. I was thinking we could stay at Giles' old flat. He paid for a year on he lease and there's still a few months left. He gave me the keys after Dawn died. Just in case I needed to get away from the house, and I really don't think I can sleep in that house again," she quietly said.
Buffy moved back to the couch and straddled Wesley's lap. She placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "I always feel safe with you," she whispered as she nuzzled his neck. She knew Wesley would never let anything bad to happen to her. And it didn't matter if she was the Slayer, there were still times when Buffy needed to feel safe in another person's arms.
Pulling back, she looked into his eyes and softly touched his cheek. The past ten minutes had been highly emotional and she wanted to be with him. "Can you take me to bed and...make love to me?" she asked. They had never called what they did as making love, but now she knew it was so much more than sex.
While Buffy disappeared into the bedroom with the phone, Wesley sat back for a moment, looking up at the ceiling. Sunnydale. He was actually going back to Sunnydale. And not only that, he was going back to Sunnydale with Buffy, and she wanted to explore their relationship more.
Him and Buffy.
A few minutes later, Buffy returned, and he found himself returning her smile, nodding when she mentioned them staying at Giles' flat. It was a bit strange to think that they would be staying there together of all places, but he understood why she didn't want to go back to her family's home. It was the same reason he hadn't been back to England in so long - too many memories. Of course, the memories keeping them away were far, far different, but the general idea was still the same.
"We'll go wherever you'd like, so if that's Mister Giles' place, then we'll go there," he told her, reaching up to pull her closer when she climbed in his lap. Part of him couldn't believe that she actually felt safe with him. His father had always told him that he was a danger to himself and others. To know that someone actually found some sort of comfort and safety in his arms - that Buffy found that in his arms - was amazing and unbelievable at the same time.
But if there was something he had learned, it was that things were never as simple and straightforward as they seemed. Buffy was the protector of the world, but she needed to feel safe too. She needed people to help her. And he swore to himself that he'd be one of those people as long as she wanted.
When she then asked him to make love to her, he looked in her eyes. It was the first time she had ever referred to it that way in the three weeks they had been together. In fact, it was the first time he had even allowed himself to consider it that way. But something had changed between them that night.
"Yes," he said softly before lifting her up as he pushed off the couch to stand. She was so small and light, but he knew how much power she had in her, and he'd never take that for granted.
Carrying her into the bedroom, he set her down so they were both standing by the bed, and slowly, he began to undress her, starting with her top. Most all of their times together until now had been fast - clothes being torn off, passionate coupling, no stopping to breath until it was over. He wanted to take this slow now, make sure they both enjoyed it.
So once he pulled off her top, he turned her around and undid the fasteners on her bra, pushing the straps off her shoulders and down until it fell off. He then gently pulled her back against him, running his hand over her shoulders then up her side before sliding them under her breasts to cup them. His thumbs swiped gently over her nipples as he leaned down to place kisses on her shoulders.
"Feel what you do to me, love?" he asked, feeling himself hardening against her back and pressing against her.
But, when Wesley finally answered her, Buffy grinned. He wanted her to stay there and work with him. "As long as there's some money. I have a little left over at the bank in Sunnydale but it's not going to last very long," she said as she pulled herself up onto her knees. For the first time in a month, Buffy was actually looking forward to the future.
"Thanks, Wes. And maybe I can start my training about and you can help me. Sort of like in a Watcher capacity." She smiled and bent down to slowly kiss him. As her tongue slipped into his mouth, Buffy realized what she'd said and mentally kicked herself. She was afraid Wesley was going to think she was teasing him.
Breaking the kiss, she pulled away and looked down at him. "I...I'm sorry, Wes. I didn't mean to say that. I mean...guess I did but it wasn't said to be mean to you because of what happened before. I just...last year I didn't train at all and I almost got everyone killed. I was under the impression a Slayer didn't have to train all the time, and I was wrong. I told Giles I wouldn't be a Slayer anymore if Dawn died, but I miss being part of something. And, I don't want to mess anything up because I've become a big slacker. But, you don't have to. I'm probably putting too much on you in one night and you probably think I'm some psycho stalkery type, who's going to cling to you and boil your pet rabbit."
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He paused, considering the things they could so to get more clients but was quickly distracted as Buffy started talking about training and...
Watcher? She wanted him to act like a Watcher to her?
She was kissing him again before he could say anything, his body responding to her even as his mind spun. Watcher? How could he be her Watcher? He had so spectacularly messed that up before. She actually wanted him to be that now? Why? How? Was she teasing him? Was all this a big joke?
Then she explained to him why she wanted to train again, and as he looked up at her, he was suddenly struck by something - she actually wanted him to be her Watcher in a way. Well, more she wanted him to help her train, but still...
Reaching up, he cupped her cheek, gazing up into her eyes. "I'd...I'd like to help you, Buffy, if you want me to. I don't know...I'm not sure if I could be an actual Watcher, not that it sounds like that's what you actually want. But I'd be more than happy to train with you. Would probably do me some good as well." He kissed her softly.
"As for the rest of it...why don't we see where things go? I'd...I'd actually quite like it if you stayed here. If you want, that is. But if you decide that you'd rather move out once we start bringing money in...I'd understand."
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"Thank you, Wes," Buffy quietly said after they'd pulled apart. "You...this means a lot to me."
She didn't know what else she could say. Instead of speaking, she leaned down and deeply kissed him. When they both needed to breathe, Buffy pulled back and softly stroked his face before lying back down and cuddling close to him. She thought about food for a moment, but decided she was content where she was and could eat in the morning.
"Goodnight, Wes," Buffy said around a yawn. She pulled the sheet over them and draped an arm and leg over him before falling into a dreamless sleep.
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Was he doing the right thing, letting Buffy stay here with him? Or was he being selfish in allowing her to stay and try to help him put back together an agency that had fallen apart? He wanted to believe that this was right. That Buffy and he had met again because this was supposed to happen, and that they would be good for each other. He didn't want Buffy to end up hating him even more than she had because somehow, he ended up hurting again...even worse this time because of the feelings involved.
Finally, he drifted off to sleep, the worry and hope still conflicting in his mind. His dreams were vivid that night - a mix of good and bad with Buffy there in them. The one thing that was the same in all of them, though, was that Buffy was the good. Always the good.
Suddenly, the phone on the nightstand started ringing, and Wesley jolted awake, feeling something pressing down on him. He looked down, realizing that it was Buffy, her head cradled against his chest, her leg still over his. Reaching over, he picked up the phone receiver and answered the call.
"Hello?" he asked.
No one answered.
"Hello?"
When no one spoke again, Wesley shook his head and hung up the phone with a sigh. "Bloody wrong numbers." He looked down at Buffy again and smiled. "Sorry if that woke you up. Erm...are you hungry?"
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But, she couldn't help but to wonder where this was going. They'd established part of their relationship the night before when he agreed to train with her. But, was that all it was going to be? Or was it going to be more? Were they going to end up becoming a couple, or just train and have sex together? Buffy didn't know if she was ready to be in a relationship yet. That is, if Wes even wanted something serious with her.
When the phone rang, she continued to lie there. She smiled up at Wesley when he spoke to her. "I was already awake," Buffy said as she stretched her arms out. "And breakfast would be of the good."
There was a brief silence between them, and she didn't know what to say. The last time she'd just slept with a guy without dating him she didn't spend the night. This was different. "I...do you have pancake mix or some eggs? I could make something," she said as she continued to look at him.
This was the guy who'd seen her naked the night before and the sex had been good. He was still there, and wasn't kicking her out or turning into an evil fiend. Buffy didn't know what she was worrying about. Leaning up, she gave him a long and deep kiss. "Good morning," she murmured against his lips.
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The last time he had been with a woman this way had been Virginia, and they had started out their relationship much the same way - by sleeping together. Of course, at the time, she had thought she was sleeping with Angel, not him, so it hadn't exactly been an auspicious start to things even though they had managed to make a go of things for a while. It had all fallen apart in the end, though. Virginia hadn't been able to deal with the reality of his world even though she understood it.
Buffy, though. Buffy was the world he lived in - she had been called to fight the evil that he faced every day. She knew what it was like. She had been hurt because of it, she had died because of it, and she had lost family because of it.
He didn't know exactly what would happen between them. Whether...this...would be more. He found himself almost hoping so but didn't want to ruin what he had found. He'd let this play out. See where it went.
"I think this might be the best morning I've had in a while," he told her when they finally pulled apart. He smiled at her, running his hand through her hair, then turned and looked toward the bedroom door. "Although I'm not sure what I might have in the kitchen. Shall we look?"
Getting up, he found his dressing gown, which he gave to Buffy, before pulling out a pair of sweatpants and stepping into them. They then went out to the kitchen, where Wesley started looking through the cupboards...and started to feel a bit embarrassed.
"I...erm...don't seem to have..." he said as he closed another one. "Ah...I have some cereal."
Taking it down, he looked at the expiration date on the top flap. Three months ago. He set it down with a sigh and looked over at Buffy.
"I think I need to go grocery shopping. Would you like to go get something to eat? There's a few places nearby that are faily decent for the price."
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Buffy couldn't believe how far Wes and her had come since they ran into each other three weeks before. They'd become a team and she trusted him with her life, and hoped he felt the same. There were times when she still couldn't believe she shared a bed with Wesley, but it felt right.
When they got to the door, there was a note sticking to door, which was addressed to Buffy. Furrowing her brow, she took it down and looked at Wes. "I didn't think anyone knew I was here," she said as she stepped inside of the apartment. "I wonder who it's from."
Opening the piece of paper, she began to read it. "'Buffy, I waited for Wes or you to come back, but I had to get back to Sunnydale. It's about Xander. A few days after you left, Cordy came to him.'." Buffy looked up at Wes and furrowed her brow before she continued. "'She gave him her visions and he's not taking them well. But that's the least of our worries. Xander had a vision about you and Sunnydale. Buffy, if you don't come back, then the town will be taken over by demons. We need you, Buffy. Willow.'"
Buffy felt her heart clench in her chest as she looked over at Wesley. "I...if Xander's in trouble, and if the town's in trouble too, I have to go back," she said.
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Thanks to Buffy, they now had quite a bit of money - enough to pay the rent and bills on both his place and the hotel for the next month, get groceries and buy Buffy her new boots. A few years ago, he would have been a bit askance at the idea of money going to something like that, but all things considered, she deserved it. And also, demon blood was very bad for clothes and shoes.
He was considering asking her if she wanted to go out to celebrate - maybe go to a nice restaurant, something akin to a real date since they had mainly been working and sleeping together over the last three weeks. However, when they got up to the flat, Buffy found the note instead, and when they got inside, their attention was focused on that. He set his bag down on the table as she began to read it outloud, his brow furrowing when it mentioned that Cordy had "visited" Xander.
Cordy was dead.
Turning around, he listened to the rest of the note. Not quite sure what to make of it. Xander had the visions now? "Are...are you sure it's from her?" he asked before he realized what he was shaking and shook his head. "Of course you must be." She'd undoubtedly know her own best friend's handwriting. And who else would come looking for her - no one here in Los Angeles knew who she was anymore.
But what it was coming down to was that she was going to have to leave. After three weeks, she was going to have to go back to Sunnydale, do what she had been called to do and protect the world from the Hellmouth. Meanwhile, he'd be left alone once again.
He'd been alone most of his life, though. He'd get used to it again. It had just been nice to have someone there - to feel part of a team with her when things had gone so wrong originally. It had felt like he had been given a chance to put things right with her.
"If you have to go, Buffy, then go," he told her, reaching out and touching her cheek gently. He realized how much he was going to miss her. He really didn't want her to leave him. He wanted her to stay. But he couldn't be selfish. "Is there anything I can do to help? Before you leave? There were some things we used to do to help Cordelia after she'd had a vision to help lessen the pain. Perhaps I could write them down for you."
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"But," she whispered as she looked at him. Tears stung her eyes as she looked up at him. "I don't want a list. I want you, Wes. You're going to come with me, aren't you?" She didn't want to leave without him. Buffy didn't want to think of what life would be like without Wesley by her side. And she didn't care what her friends might think about them being together.
"Wes, look..." Buffy said as she took his hands and tugged him over to the couch. "I...these past three weeks have been wonderful. For the first time in my life, I was able to be who I wanted, and that's because of you. I know we didn't get along before but things are different now. I want you in my life. I like falling asleep with you, and waking up with you, and you totally get what it's like to be a Slayer. You understand it."
She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. "I know I'm supposed to be strong, but I'm stronger with you in my life. Plus, I think I'm falling for you and it's not fair if I have to leave and we don't get to find out if we could have a real relationship." Buffy took another deep breath and linked her fingers with Wesley's. "Come with me. You can help us with Xander, and all the other things. I don't want to leave you behind, Wes."
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No one had ever said anything like that to him before. And once upon a time, he would have never dreamed of Buffy Summers saying anything like that to him. The girl who once would have been thrilled if he had disappeared the moment they had met in the library at the high school now wanted him to actually stay in her life. Be part of it.
"Buffy, I..." he started to say, not completely sure what to say to her. He had never been as happy as he had in the last three weeks, knowing that she was there to share their days and nights, knowing that she understood. He wanted to go with her. He would be happy to go with her if that was what she wanted.
But before he could even figure out where to start in that regard, she was speaking again, and he felt his throat tighten in amazement. He knew that he had been developing feelings for her over the last few weeks, but to here it from her, to know that she seemed to feel the same way...
He wrapped his fingers around hers, staring at them for a minute before raising his eyes up to focus on hers. Perhaps this was why they hadn't got along as Watcher and Slayer...because that sort of relationship would never have allowed this, at least not in the Council's eyes. He was never met to be her Watcher. He was meant to be something else. Something they were still trying to figure out, but he knew they would.
"Truth be told," he finally said, "I didn't want you to leave me. It's probably selfish and sounds a little...weird, but these past three weeks have been the best of my life. I like working with you and being with you. I...I know that what's developing between us...I want to give it a chance too, see where it leads."
He tugged her closer, practically into his lap, and kissed her lips softly before resting his forehead to hers. "Which is all to say - yes, I want to go back to Sunnydale with you."
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"I'm going to call Willow and tell her we'll be there by tomorrow morning," Buffy said before she picked up the cordless phone and went into the bedroom.
The conversation was short since Willow was on her way to bed after the drive from Sunnydale to LA and back again. She sounded happy to know Buffy was coming along with, and when Buffy said she was bringing Wes along to help with the visions, and research, Willow didn't seem to mind. After all, she was one of the few who didn't seem to mind Wes when he'd come to Sunnydale.
Once the conversation was finished, Buffy came out of the bedroom and smiled at Wesley. "Willow is expecting us. I was thinking we could stay at Giles' old flat. He paid for a year on he lease and there's still a few months left. He gave me the keys after Dawn died. Just in case I needed to get away from the house, and I really don't think I can sleep in that house again," she quietly said.
Buffy moved back to the couch and straddled Wesley's lap. She placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "I always feel safe with you," she whispered as she nuzzled his neck. She knew Wesley would never let anything bad to happen to her. And it didn't matter if she was the Slayer, there were still times when Buffy needed to feel safe in another person's arms.
Pulling back, she looked into his eyes and softly touched his cheek. The past ten minutes had been highly emotional and she wanted to be with him. "Can you take me to bed and...make love to me?" she asked. They had never called what they did as making love, but now she knew it was so much more than sex.
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Him and Buffy.
A few minutes later, Buffy returned, and he found himself returning her smile, nodding when she mentioned them staying at Giles' flat. It was a bit strange to think that they would be staying there together of all places, but he understood why she didn't want to go back to her family's home. It was the same reason he hadn't been back to England in so long - too many memories. Of course, the memories keeping them away were far, far different, but the general idea was still the same.
"We'll go wherever you'd like, so if that's Mister Giles' place, then we'll go there," he told her, reaching up to pull her closer when she climbed in his lap. Part of him couldn't believe that she actually felt safe with him. His father had always told him that he was a danger to himself and others. To know that someone actually found some sort of comfort and safety in his arms - that Buffy found that in his arms - was amazing and unbelievable at the same time.
But if there was something he had learned, it was that things were never as simple and straightforward as they seemed. Buffy was the protector of the world, but she needed to feel safe too. She needed people to help her. And he swore to himself that he'd be one of those people as long as she wanted.
When she then asked him to make love to her, he looked in her eyes. It was the first time she had ever referred to it that way in the three weeks they had been together. In fact, it was the first time he had even allowed himself to consider it that way. But something had changed between them that night.
"Yes," he said softly before lifting her up as he pushed off the couch to stand. She was so small and light, but he knew how much power she had in her, and he'd never take that for granted.
Carrying her into the bedroom, he set her down so they were both standing by the bed, and slowly, he began to undress her, starting with her top. Most all of their times together until now had been fast - clothes being torn off, passionate coupling, no stopping to breath until it was over. He wanted to take this slow now, make sure they both enjoyed it.
So once he pulled off her top, he turned her around and undid the fasteners on her bra, pushing the straps off her shoulders and down until it fell off. He then gently pulled her back against him, running his hand over her shoulders then up her side before sliding them under her breasts to cup them. His thumbs swiped gently over her nipples as he leaned down to place kisses on her shoulders.
"Feel what you do to me, love?" he asked, feeling himself hardening against her back and pressing against her.
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