When Buffy apologized to him, Wesley straightened up a bit and looked at her, slipping out of her as he did. For a moment, he was confused as to what she was sorry for until it hit him - she thought she had somehow used him.
"Buffy," he started to say, but before he could get anything out, he found himself lyiing on his side on bed with her next to him. Tears were forming in her eyes, and the next thing he knew, she was crying.
The "she" had to be Dawn. His sister was dead, and she blamed herself. Bringing his arms up, he wrapped them around her, holding her close. Part of him couldn't believe that he was actually comforting Buffy when he had once been sure that she never would have allowed this. She was hurt and grieving and seemed to think that she had used him - when she didn't understand that he had needed this just as much because he was hurt and grieving too.
"Buffy, it's..." he whispered before trailing off, not sure what to say. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone but would she believe him. Were either of them really not alone? They had just had sex - it wasn't as though they were in a relationship. But he wanted to reach out to her, at least a bit, give her some small comfort even if they never saw each other again.
"I think I know what you're going through," he finally admitted. "I...Cordelia was killed a month ago. She was probably the closest thing to family I have and I...I wasn't fast enough in getting the information and now she's dead."
When Wesley wrapped his arms around her, Buffy clung to him. She'd received physical comfort from her friends, and Giles, but this was different and more intimate. They were naked, in bed together, and instead of brushing her off, Wes was comforting her. Maybe part of her didn't understand what they were doing, but she didn't care.
"Cordy's dead?" she asked, pulling away from him so she could look at his face. Cordy and her weren't the best of friends in high school. They tolerated each other, and Buffy had to learn how to be nice to her when Xander decided he rather date Cordy than Willow. She did like the other girl to a point, but everything else was just faking in sake of the gang. "I'm sorry, Wes."
Buffy pulled herself up and pulled a sheet over her legs. "It was my fault Dawn died. I wasn't paying attention. You probably don't know this but, she really wasn't my sister. She wasn't even real. Monks had made her out of a mystical key and sent her to me to protect. They implanted everyone with false memories so we'd think she'd been there the whole time. Whatever you remember about her isn't real. She only came into existence last year. And I'm sure Giles could explain this better than me." She gave him a watery smile and shrugged.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked down at the sheet and smoothed it over her legs. "We tried to protect Dawn from knowing the truth, but Spike helped her break into the Magic Box. They found Giles' diary and read about it. She freaked out on all of us." She was still going to stake Spike for doing that. "This demon named Glory was after her because Dawn's blood would open a portal, which would make all these Hell dimensions open. After my mom died we had to go on the run and Glory got Dawn. Giles and Willow figured out how to change her blood and it worked.
But, when we were coming down from the tower, one of Glory's minions grabbed Dawn away from me and stabbed her. She died in my arms and...I don't know. I should've been more careful. I was just so happy things were finally done. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be rambling on about stuff. It's just...it feels nice to be able to talk to someone who wasn't there."
Buffy slipped down on the bed and laid next to Wes again. "What happened to Cordy? If you don't mind telling me that is."
When Buffy said she was sorry about Cordelia's death, Wes shrugged slightly. There was nothing she could do to change it, no matter how much he wished there was something that could be done. She probably understood the feeling. Hearing "I'm sorry" didn't change anything - Dawn was still dead as was Cordy. And all they could say were words.
But then again, words could be the best thing for both of them. So as Buffy sat up and explained what had happened, he propped his head on his hand and listened to her. Dawn...he hadn't really known her? All his memories of her were fake, created when the monks created her? And yet Buffy still saw her as her sister. Just like Wesley, after realizing that Cordelia and he were truly not compatible romantically, came to see her as a sister.
As she spoke, he understood the feelings crackling in her voice. He wanted to reach out to her and pull her into his arms to comfort her, but he didn't know if she wanted that. Despite what had happened between them, there was still so much uncertain, that he didn't really understand about her. And he wouldn't pretend to. She didn't deserve that.
His eyes followed her as she moved down next to him on the bed, lying close but still not touching. He felt his throat tighten when she asked him what had happened to Cordy, and without thinking about it, he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling, which was cracked and dirty. Unsurprising, that.
"A friend of ours...a demon named Lorne..." It still felt strange calling him that after knowing him as "The Host" for so long. "He's from another dimension called Pylea. He was caught in a portal and found himself here, so built a life for himself, opened a club in the place where he first appeared. About a month ago, another portal opened up, and Lorne's cousin appeared. We found a way to return him, but when we did, Cordy got caught in the portal too...so Angel and I followed her."
He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, images and memories spinning in his mind. Lorne had refused to go back, obviously unable to face his past. "Humans on Pylea were taken as slave, and Cordy was captured almost immediately. But she...I don't know if you know, if Angel ever told you, but Cordy...she was able to receive visions. When her...captor found out, she took her to the castle where these demon priests resided. They wanted to use her for her visions. We found a girl named Fred who had accidentally opened a portal here in L.A. five years ago and ended up on Pylea - she took us to the castle. The only way to save Cordelia was through challenge. So Angel challenged since he was the only one of us with demon blood. Fred and I, we tried to find the information to help Angel win the challenge, snuck into the castle to find the books that would help him, but we were too late."
He looked over at her, tears in his eyes, his voice hoarse when he spoke again, "Angel was forced to fight without us there, and he lost. The priests murdered Cordelia before we could stop them. And we had to run. We had to leave her body there." Stopping, he gave her a wan smile. "I guess you're not the only one who needed someone to talk about this to. It's horrible when you have to hold it inside, thinking you're all alone."
Buffy laid there and listened to Wes talk. She'd heard about other dimensions before, and had even sent Angel to one. She shuddered a little, thinking about what it'd be like to be in a place where they considered you a slave. Buffy also knew she would be able to defend herself in such a place, but there was no way she could stand around and let people suffer.
It sometimes amazed her how mature she'd gotten over the past year. Just a year ago she was a college student, in love with Riley. She had little to worry about because she had a tightly woven support system, helping her. But slowly, the system broke apart and she suddenly didn't have a mother to lean on. Buffy knew she still had her friends but they seemed so far away.
All she had right now was Wesley, who was on the verge of tears. It looked like he was trying so hard not to break down and she frowned at that. "You did what you could, Wes. It's not your fault," Buffy whispered. She cupped his face and turned it so he was looking at her. Her thumb caressed his cheek and she smiled a little.
Moving closer, Buffy draped an arm and leg over him. She pressed her forehead against his temple and continued to caress his cheek. "I'm sorry, Wes. For before. When you came to Sunnydale, I didn't want to like you but you know, you really aren't that bad," she whispered before kissing his cheek.
Suddenly, a squeaking noise came from the corner of the room and Buffy sighed. "That's the resident rat. Kind of hard to get a nice room on a Slayer's salary...which is pretty non-existent," she said with a small laugh.
"Buffy," he started to say, but before he could get anything out, he found himself lyiing on his side on bed with her next to him. Tears were forming in her eyes, and the next thing he knew, she was crying.
The "she" had to be Dawn. His sister was dead, and she blamed herself. Bringing his arms up, he wrapped them around her, holding her close. Part of him couldn't believe that he was actually comforting Buffy when he had once been sure that she never would have allowed this. She was hurt and grieving and seemed to think that she had used him - when she didn't understand that he had needed this just as much because he was hurt and grieving too.
"Buffy, it's..." he whispered before trailing off, not sure what to say. He wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone but would she believe him. Were either of them really not alone? They had just had sex - it wasn't as though they were in a relationship. But he wanted to reach out to her, at least a bit, give her some small comfort even if they never saw each other again.
"I think I know what you're going through," he finally admitted. "I...Cordelia was killed a month ago. She was probably the closest thing to family I have and I...I wasn't fast enough in getting the information and now she's dead."
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"Cordy's dead?" she asked, pulling away from him so she could look at his face. Cordy and her weren't the best of friends in high school. They tolerated each other, and Buffy had to learn how to be nice to her when Xander decided he rather date Cordy than Willow. She did like the other girl to a point, but everything else was just faking in sake of the gang. "I'm sorry, Wes."
Buffy pulled herself up and pulled a sheet over her legs. "It was my fault Dawn died. I wasn't paying attention. You probably don't know this but, she really wasn't my sister. She wasn't even real. Monks had made her out of a mystical key and sent her to me to protect. They implanted everyone with false memories so we'd think she'd been there the whole time. Whatever you remember about her isn't real. She only came into existence last year. And I'm sure Giles could explain this better than me." She gave him a watery smile and shrugged.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked down at the sheet and smoothed it over her legs. "We tried to protect Dawn from knowing the truth, but Spike helped her break into the Magic Box. They found Giles' diary and read about it. She freaked out on all of us." She was still going to stake Spike for doing that. "This demon named Glory was after her because Dawn's blood would open a portal, which would make all these Hell dimensions open. After my mom died we had to go on the run and Glory got Dawn. Giles and Willow figured out how to change her blood and it worked.
But, when we were coming down from the tower, one of Glory's minions grabbed Dawn away from me and stabbed her. She died in my arms and...I don't know. I should've been more careful. I was just so happy things were finally done. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be rambling on about stuff. It's just...it feels nice to be able to talk to someone who wasn't there."
Buffy slipped down on the bed and laid next to Wes again. "What happened to Cordy? If you don't mind telling me that is."
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But then again, words could be the best thing for both of them. So as Buffy sat up and explained what had happened, he propped his head on his hand and listened to her. Dawn...he hadn't really known her? All his memories of her were fake, created when the monks created her? And yet Buffy still saw her as her sister. Just like Wesley, after realizing that Cordelia and he were truly not compatible romantically, came to see her as a sister.
As she spoke, he understood the feelings crackling in her voice. He wanted to reach out to her and pull her into his arms to comfort her, but he didn't know if she wanted that. Despite what had happened between them, there was still so much uncertain, that he didn't really understand about her. And he wouldn't pretend to. She didn't deserve that.
His eyes followed her as she moved down next to him on the bed, lying close but still not touching. He felt his throat tighten when she asked him what had happened to Cordy, and without thinking about it, he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling, which was cracked and dirty. Unsurprising, that.
"A friend of ours...a demon named Lorne..." It still felt strange calling him that after knowing him as "The Host" for so long. "He's from another dimension called Pylea. He was caught in a portal and found himself here, so built a life for himself, opened a club in the place where he first appeared. About a month ago, another portal opened up, and Lorne's cousin appeared. We found a way to return him, but when we did, Cordy got caught in the portal too...so Angel and I followed her."
He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, images and memories spinning in his mind. Lorne had refused to go back, obviously unable to face his past. "Humans on Pylea were taken as slave, and Cordy was captured almost immediately. But she...I don't know if you know, if Angel ever told you, but Cordy...she was able to receive visions. When her...captor found out, she took her to the castle where these demon priests resided. They wanted to use her for her visions. We found a girl named Fred who had accidentally opened a portal here in L.A. five years ago and ended up on Pylea - she took us to the castle. The only way to save Cordelia was through challenge. So Angel challenged since he was the only one of us with demon blood. Fred and I, we tried to find the information to help Angel win the challenge, snuck into the castle to find the books that would help him, but we were too late."
He looked over at her, tears in his eyes, his voice hoarse when he spoke again, "Angel was forced to fight without us there, and he lost. The priests murdered Cordelia before we could stop them. And we had to run. We had to leave her body there." Stopping, he gave her a wan smile. "I guess you're not the only one who needed someone to talk about this to. It's horrible when you have to hold it inside, thinking you're all alone."
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It sometimes amazed her how mature she'd gotten over the past year. Just a year ago she was a college student, in love with Riley. She had little to worry about because she had a tightly woven support system, helping her. But slowly, the system broke apart and she suddenly didn't have a mother to lean on. Buffy knew she still had her friends but they seemed so far away.
All she had right now was Wesley, who was on the verge of tears. It looked like he was trying so hard not to break down and she frowned at that. "You did what you could, Wes. It's not your fault," Buffy whispered. She cupped his face and turned it so he was looking at her. Her thumb caressed his cheek and she smiled a little.
Moving closer, Buffy draped an arm and leg over him. She pressed her forehead against his temple and continued to caress his cheek. "I'm sorry, Wes. For before. When you came to Sunnydale, I didn't want to like you but you know, you really aren't that bad," she whispered before kissing his cheek.
Suddenly, a squeaking noise came from the corner of the room and Buffy sighed. "That's the resident rat. Kind of hard to get a nice room on a Slayer's salary...which is pretty non-existent," she said with a small laugh.
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