Priorities
I am astounded at the profound change that takes place when you have a baby. The first week was pure euphoria and adrenaline. But when that wore off, I had to come to terms with the idea that NOTHING will ever be the same... (I may be exaggerating - but I don't really know, because I've never done this before.) I finally feel like I may be getting the "mommy" thing and the "parent/spouse" thing down, but it's hard to reconcile these selves with my old life.
As a mommy, I try to sleep when she sleeps, do laundry (oh, the laundry!), read parenting and healthcare books, sing to her, rock her, play with her, and of course feed her. And we've gone out a couple times to different mommy type events (breastfeeding support group, pediatrician, grandma's house). As a parent/spouse, Adam and I are in constant contact about how much she sleeps, eats, poops, pees, "smiles," generally looks adorable, how much I've eaten and whether I'm taking care of myself, how many visitors we have planned, what we need from Babies R Us, etc.
And then there are times that *seem* normal -- for example, eating dinner and watching TV while she sleeps. But we also know we've got a long night ahead that we need to prep for, and at any given time if she is fussing or hungry (which is often) everything else needs to be put on the back burner. I find that in reporting about my day, I now speak in terms of "we"...
I know at some point there will be a new normal that will include parts of my "old" life (going out to dinner, spending time with my husband *not* talking about the baby (and not feeling guilty about that!), jaunting off to the store to do some shopping). Right now, though, I feel a real loss of identity at times ("Amy" has not been associated with "mommy" in any way in the past). I have never done so much growing in such a short period of time before, and it's HARD!
The last few days our baby girl has not been feeling well. I cannot believe how much it tears at my heartstrings to hear her cry and know she hurts and not be able to help... I know we are doing the best we know how by her, but I worry that we're messing up. I hope to see her happy and healthy again soon. Since she is so brand new it's especially hard -- 3 days of being sick is almost 1/5th of her life! The doctors say she appears to be getting better, but sadly she's not there yet. Poor thing.
Well, that's the update. Thanks for "listening"! I think we'll try to go for a walk this afternoon and enjoy this beautiful late summer day :)
As a mommy, I try to sleep when she sleeps, do laundry (oh, the laundry!), read parenting and healthcare books, sing to her, rock her, play with her, and of course feed her. And we've gone out a couple times to different mommy type events (breastfeeding support group, pediatrician, grandma's house). As a parent/spouse, Adam and I are in constant contact about how much she sleeps, eats, poops, pees, "smiles," generally looks adorable, how much I've eaten and whether I'm taking care of myself, how many visitors we have planned, what we need from Babies R Us, etc.
And then there are times that *seem* normal -- for example, eating dinner and watching TV while she sleeps. But we also know we've got a long night ahead that we need to prep for, and at any given time if she is fussing or hungry (which is often) everything else needs to be put on the back burner. I find that in reporting about my day, I now speak in terms of "we"...
I know at some point there will be a new normal that will include parts of my "old" life (going out to dinner, spending time with my husband *not* talking about the baby (and not feeling guilty about that!), jaunting off to the store to do some shopping). Right now, though, I feel a real loss of identity at times ("Amy" has not been associated with "mommy" in any way in the past). I have never done so much growing in such a short period of time before, and it's HARD!
The last few days our baby girl has not been feeling well. I cannot believe how much it tears at my heartstrings to hear her cry and know she hurts and not be able to help... I know we are doing the best we know how by her, but I worry that we're messing up. I hope to see her happy and healthy again soon. Since she is so brand new it's especially hard -- 3 days of being sick is almost 1/5th of her life! The doctors say she appears to be getting better, but sadly she's not there yet. Poor thing.
Well, that's the update. Thanks for "listening"! I think we'll try to go for a walk this afternoon and enjoy this beautiful late summer day :)