The Startling Line - Playing Favorites
I was listening to the Stars and reorganizing my sock drawer when the album finished and some emo-punk love song that I didn't know came on. It's somehow not bad. It might be that it is 1:37 am and my mind is fried from trying to work on this essay, failing, and doing laundry instead. While trying to work on this essay over the past week,I have cleaned a lot, had 5 naps, drank 9 cups of tea (only while working on the essay), stubbed my toe twice and listened to a great variety of music because I am so ridiculously restless.
It isn't that I don't know what I am doing with this essay. I know exactly what I am doing with it (avoiding it) and what I want to do with it (write it). I know exactly what I am arguing, how I am going to argue it, what sources I am going to use, what quotes I want to use... but somehow it is just not coming together quite yet. This disturbs me because I have about 22 hours to make it come together. I don't count down days when essays are due in class, because I always just finish those before I sleep. But having it due at 11:55 pm somehow makes it different.
At least this essay has helped me face a couple things: I really need to buy more socks, and one pair of jeans that I own is getting old and will need replacement. It also made me realize some stuff about culture-specific definitions of gender, but that's a little too boring to get into the details.
I figure that since I am not getting anything done, I should just go to bed. I should get up and go to Plant Bio in the morning, but after that I have a 3 hour break before my tutorial. That's 3 hours that I can't work on my essay, because I can't focus well enough at school even if I felt like hauling my computer up there. I figure I'll work on my essay, go up to my tutorial, come back, finish my essay and then go over the plant bio lecture that I missed.
I'll get up in a bit and take another stab at writing this essay. I haven't had to write an essay in a very long time. I find them more difficult than studying for exams because there is a point where you have studied as much as you can and you'd have to put in a lot of extra effort to learn stupid details that are probably not very useful. With essays, those stupid little details are still things that you can change, and if you don't, then you know that you didn't do your BEST. There is a point when you stop caring, but it isn't quite the same for me.
Time for sleep.
It isn't that I don't know what I am doing with this essay. I know exactly what I am doing with it (avoiding it) and what I want to do with it (write it). I know exactly what I am arguing, how I am going to argue it, what sources I am going to use, what quotes I want to use... but somehow it is just not coming together quite yet. This disturbs me because I have about 22 hours to make it come together. I don't count down days when essays are due in class, because I always just finish those before I sleep. But having it due at 11:55 pm somehow makes it different.
At least this essay has helped me face a couple things: I really need to buy more socks, and one pair of jeans that I own is getting old and will need replacement. It also made me realize some stuff about culture-specific definitions of gender, but that's a little too boring to get into the details.
I figure that since I am not getting anything done, I should just go to bed. I should get up and go to Plant Bio in the morning, but after that I have a 3 hour break before my tutorial. That's 3 hours that I can't work on my essay, because I can't focus well enough at school even if I felt like hauling my computer up there. I figure I'll work on my essay, go up to my tutorial, come back, finish my essay and then go over the plant bio lecture that I missed.
I'll get up in a bit and take another stab at writing this essay. I haven't had to write an essay in a very long time. I find them more difficult than studying for exams because there is a point where you have studied as much as you can and you'd have to put in a lot of extra effort to learn stupid details that are probably not very useful. With essays, those stupid little details are still things that you can change, and if you don't, then you know that you didn't do your BEST. There is a point when you stop caring, but it isn't quite the same for me.
Time for sleep.