In regards to myself....What am I so afraid of?
Well another shocker while still being in New York. I have so far missed my little sisters graduation, my other little sisters first holy communion, and I am sick of missing things like this. I will never go through his pain again. I'm sick of missing these things, in my drug era's I have missed christmas, birthdays, thanksgiving, and hurt my family more than anything. I am trying to hard to keep it together, but its so hard. I opened my bible for the first time in a long time, and it has since gotten easier. I am going to try and stay more positive.
I have yet found another female to fill this void. I am refusing to believe that I have a void, I simply believe I keep searching until I find that one girl. That one girl that shares the same beliefs, that one girl that believes in the same hopes, dreams, and aspirations as me. I can't stand it but I think I have stopped my search. HA I am listening to Necro and I can't stop laughing..................
I am sitting in this small computer room, hot, and angry, I need to get my feelings out, I don't even want to be home anymore, I could care less at this moment, I want to figure out what is going through my head. I want to figure out what is going to make me happy in this life, I am sick of playing this card in life like everything is worth something to me, like everybody owe's me something that they do not. I can be positive in this life. I can make something for myself, and I can date the most beautiful girl ever. I can get the girl, I can have the life, I can have everything I have been longing for, but say i get to tired so I just sit back and long for this. WAKE Up. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN! Pull yourself TOGETHER. SO BURN, and PRAY FROM THE BOOK, AM I SLEEP OR JUST ALONE.
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!