(no subject)
so it 11:41.
thinking about a lot actually.
so i dont know , things have been kinda retarted
lately. ive been really mad and upset over a lot of stuff
and im so scared to actually say what i feel over some things.
and every person i talk to says the same thing , oh just ignore
it. well i feel like ive been ignoring everything and everyone
that has a mean remark or unnecessary thing to say to me for
the past 15 years of my life. and i hate how people say it.
all behind my back or too scared to say it to my face so you
can try and say whatever you want how ever you want. well dont
because i hate that. and you. and i hate every person i talk to
never really knows what to say, they all say the same thing thats
why i know. i get really sensitive about certain subjects and
i know that people know that but i dont know. i guess i never
know. and what i hate most is that everything was fine the way
it was untill you had to say that. that one thing. just set me off.
completely off. to the point where i wanted everyone to go away.
and everything to stop for once. i hate when people really think
they know what they're talking about, and they are convinced that
they do. well news flash ,you dont. so you can keep telling
yourself that. because it wont do anything for you or me. stop
saying that you know exactly what happened when you dont. but
woops you do. thats right. i hate it. if i havnt said that
enough.
just for once , i wish everyone could forget about what
happened. and now im scared to write certain things because
i dont want to get a reaction on everything i do , say ,
or write. i really dont know what i would say to you if you ever
said anything to me. knowing that you wouldn't just speaking
to you would make me ignore every single solitary word that comes
out of that mouth of yours. theres just that one thing , well i
shouldnt say one because theres many, but that would just make
every point of you standing there a waste of my time and not to
mention my breath. i hate when people do this do something to
someone not knowing that it hurts them. not knowing that if
someone ever did that to them how they would feel. well think
next time. which theres not going to be a next
time so you can do it how ever you want.
i want you to leave me alone. forever. if you see me in the
hallway , look away. and for once dont give me a look. forget
who i am act as if we never met and dont want to me. i never did
anything to you at all and believe me this isnt a personal
attack on you so dont say anything about it. i dont want anything
to do with you. any of you. stop talking behind my back ,
saying things that are just rude. i totally misjudged you. god
for bid i breathe wrong and you have to say something just
so unnecessary and rude. i cant go into words on how much you
upset me the other night. and how low you are to me. stop
butting into my life and everything that goes on about it.
so as of now , stop looking at me.
talking about me.
coming near me.
going out of your way to be everything
i knew you would turn out to be.
so you start it. you end it.