Know-Thyself: Day Three
I stumbled upon this website that offers 62 questions to ask yourself. Supposedly answering them will help you along the path of discovering and reconnecting with yourself. While I could stand to answer them all at once, turning them into a meme means there's time to do them and that everyone can share with each other :) So I'll be doing 10 questions at a time, with 12 on the 6th day (to make 62). No skipping questions that are "too obvious". You can find the website here
What can you do better?
I suppose I could be better at being patient with myself, it's the main reason I'm so anxious with others. I also suspect that getting the hell out of Steubenville will be beneficial..
What worries you the most when you think about your future?
The future really doesn't worry me. Not yet, at least. I'm too preoccupied with the present. Not that worrying about it gets anything done, my life is a total mess as it is.
What really sucks in your life? Who has the power to change it?
What really sucks? I have no one to talk to about anything. Yes I have a cell phone and email, but that just doesn't do it for me. I have no one I can relate to at all. No gay friends to make me feel like life isn't so bad, no pagan friends to really express my thoughts to. I try talking to my family but it just doesn't work the same. My friends are good at paying attention, but if I ask something about it two weeks down the road they barely remember. I have my cat, that's it, and frankly every other person in this town can piss off.
What is your life really about? What is your purpose in life?
My life is about making things easier for someone else. By being who I am faithfully, I might someday make it just a little tiny bit easier for someone else to think "maybe its okay if I be myself, too". That's all I want to do with my life, and I'd risk anything for it.
What fear could wake you in the middle of the night?
Anything with more than 4 legs or 2 eyes. I'm coming to terms with the spider being a totem animal. I'm not exactly happy about it, but I'm transcending
What joy could wake you in the middle of the night?
Maybe I'm just bitter with life but I doubt anything could at this point. Too much stuff in transition, it's not like I'm going to wake up with a degree in Nutrition or a promotion. It's not like the bank is going to say "you won a million dollars". It's not like the student loan companies are going to say "hey don't worry about it, this ones on us". And its definitely not like I'm gonna see a headline saying "Obama Impeached" anytime soon so I'll just stick with what I have: work to be done
What are you grateful for?
Life. Having a friend struck by lightning in high school and another dying from lung cancer at age 20 puts life into perspective rather quickly. I might not enjoy life every day, but every day I AM thankful for it. I'm also thankful for the friendships I've been able to keep that are distanced in Columbus or Pittsburgh and Akron. I'm also grateful for the ability to read, I work with someone who is illiterate and I really can't imagine how that would be in todays world. The thought of not reading a book that has that new-paper smell, that's just depressing.
What time of the day do you feel the most energetic? And what do you usually do in those moments?
After my morning coffee and evening nap. They make me want to reach out and talk to people so I'll usually blog or facebook :)
If you knew you had only one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it?
I would spend it celebrating every accomplishment I've ever had, big or small. I'd never show a crack of sadness because I really would never want my death to be mourned. I tell my friend Alex daily "don't you dare cry at my funeral or if I'm on the death bed. It's bad enough I know I have to go but the thought of a bunch of people sitting around being miserable about it is certainly enough to keep me here as a ghost. And you know I'm coming to haunt your ass first so you better keep salt handy". I know, I'm the king of compassion.
Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?
I don't have a most favorite film? Although I just remembered I downloaded Space Jam!!
What can you do better?
I suppose I could be better at being patient with myself, it's the main reason I'm so anxious with others. I also suspect that getting the hell out of Steubenville will be beneficial..
What worries you the most when you think about your future?
The future really doesn't worry me. Not yet, at least. I'm too preoccupied with the present. Not that worrying about it gets anything done, my life is a total mess as it is.
What really sucks in your life? Who has the power to change it?
What really sucks? I have no one to talk to about anything. Yes I have a cell phone and email, but that just doesn't do it for me. I have no one I can relate to at all. No gay friends to make me feel like life isn't so bad, no pagan friends to really express my thoughts to. I try talking to my family but it just doesn't work the same. My friends are good at paying attention, but if I ask something about it two weeks down the road they barely remember. I have my cat, that's it, and frankly every other person in this town can piss off.
What is your life really about? What is your purpose in life?
My life is about making things easier for someone else. By being who I am faithfully, I might someday make it just a little tiny bit easier for someone else to think "maybe its okay if I be myself, too". That's all I want to do with my life, and I'd risk anything for it.
What fear could wake you in the middle of the night?
Anything with more than 4 legs or 2 eyes. I'm coming to terms with the spider being a totem animal. I'm not exactly happy about it, but I'm transcending
What joy could wake you in the middle of the night?
Maybe I'm just bitter with life but I doubt anything could at this point. Too much stuff in transition, it's not like I'm going to wake up with a degree in Nutrition or a promotion. It's not like the bank is going to say "you won a million dollars". It's not like the student loan companies are going to say "hey don't worry about it, this ones on us". And its definitely not like I'm gonna see a headline saying "Obama Impeached" anytime soon so I'll just stick with what I have: work to be done
What are you grateful for?
Life. Having a friend struck by lightning in high school and another dying from lung cancer at age 20 puts life into perspective rather quickly. I might not enjoy life every day, but every day I AM thankful for it. I'm also thankful for the friendships I've been able to keep that are distanced in Columbus or Pittsburgh and Akron. I'm also grateful for the ability to read, I work with someone who is illiterate and I really can't imagine how that would be in todays world. The thought of not reading a book that has that new-paper smell, that's just depressing.
What time of the day do you feel the most energetic? And what do you usually do in those moments?
After my morning coffee and evening nap. They make me want to reach out and talk to people so I'll usually blog or facebook :)
If you knew you had only one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it?
I would spend it celebrating every accomplishment I've ever had, big or small. I'd never show a crack of sadness because I really would never want my death to be mourned. I tell my friend Alex daily "don't you dare cry at my funeral or if I'm on the death bed. It's bad enough I know I have to go but the thought of a bunch of people sitting around being miserable about it is certainly enough to keep me here as a ghost. And you know I'm coming to haunt your ass first so you better keep salt handy". I know, I'm the king of compassion.
Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?
I don't have a most favorite film? Although I just remembered I downloaded Space Jam!!