Fish
"I think people who have pet fish must be stupid."
"What?!"
"I, personally, would never own a fish. I mean, I was just thinking about it, and I realized I never had a pet fish. Never asked for one from my parents, never even won one at a county fair, never had a friend who had a fish that I can remember because I wouldn't be excited about it."
"So why are people who do have pet fish stupid?"
"It's so pointless to have a fish in a tank. It doesn't do anything. It's trapped in this little space and it doesn't have a memory long enough to realize that it wouldn't be happy there. There's nothing to get attached to. They even smell sometimes, or at least their food does. So why do you want to take care of something that gives you nothing back?
Well, I guess there is one reason why people buy fish."
"What?"
"Aesthetic purposes.
Thus, people who own fish are shallow."
"And stupid."
"Yes."
"You are totally going to fall for a guy who is obsessed with fish."
Excerpt from "Track Ten," script in progress.