save me!
Tomorrow I have to give a speech in my speech class. It may seem like a strange thing to say, but when I signed up for the class I was under the impression that there would be no speeches involved (and I had good reason to think so), fortunately this is the only one we have to do. But seriously, when I found out there would be one speech I strongly considered dropping the class just for that reason. I'm truly not as shy as I used to be, and I speak up much more in class and get less nervous when I have to give presentations or something, but this is different, this is a real speech and I have almost no experience with those and I am nervous as hell. Back in high school when I would have something coming up in one of my classes and Craig and I were still working together at the office, he used to drag me into the editing suite when no one was around and force me to practice my speeches or presentations in front of him until I knew them better or was more comfortable doing it. I trust Craig more than anyone else I know and I tell him everything when we are just talking, but I used to get paralyzed with fear just at the thought of standing up and speaking in front of him. This is ridiculous, I know, because I spoke to him all the time and shared my thoughts freely, but the act of getting up and doing it formally was petrifying. Even though I hated it at the time I knew he was doing it to help me, and it really did help when I had to get up and do it in front of my less forgiving classmates.
Today I would give anything to be back at the office and have him demand that I practice my speech until I get it right. I need his help and he's not here. This is reminding me how much the new deal sucks. I know I shouldn't complain because he sees me more than any of his other friends and I'm grateful for the time he does spend with me and I know I'm lucky to still be friends with him, but I miss seeing him every day and having him at the office all the time and going to the grocery and Blockbuster practically every night and just doing all the things we used to do. As much as I see him now I used to see him 50 times more before things changed and if I actually think about it (which I'm doing now) it makes me sad. Neither one of us can help it or change it, but that's just how it is and I don't like it, I want him back. Blah. I should not be allowed to think about certain things...I need to get a chip inserted into my brain or something. This stupid speech is going to kill me.
Today I would give anything to be back at the office and have him demand that I practice my speech until I get it right. I need his help and he's not here. This is reminding me how much the new deal sucks. I know I shouldn't complain because he sees me more than any of his other friends and I'm grateful for the time he does spend with me and I know I'm lucky to still be friends with him, but I miss seeing him every day and having him at the office all the time and going to the grocery and Blockbuster practically every night and just doing all the things we used to do. As much as I see him now I used to see him 50 times more before things changed and if I actually think about it (which I'm doing now) it makes me sad. Neither one of us can help it or change it, but that's just how it is and I don't like it, I want him back. Blah. I should not be allowed to think about certain things...I need to get a chip inserted into my brain or something. This stupid speech is going to kill me.