between you and me
I block her shots one by one.
Each time she blindly stumbles
into what she thinks is fun.
The road is riddled with booby
traps, enemies in ambush, I
guide her like a native guides
a Westerner in the jungles of
Africa. She snaps shots along
the way, whistling, pointing at
exotic bugs, birds of paradise,
an everyday sight for me but
they speak of intangible demise.
How fortunate I am to always be
just a step before her. All the
hidden dangers, threats, remain
unknown to her. Even I trip,
and each time she picks me up,
her gentleness breath-taking.
Quickly quietly loading clips
I tell myself she is specious.
But I cannot afford to lose her,
I carry on no matter how tedious
it gets. Hey you're standing in
my way, she says. Move aside, she
insists. I insist back. No way.
Fine she says, stomping off in
another direction. I see ahead of
her, senses strange, firing a shot
warding off another beast lurking
in the shadows. The world is full
of them, harmless in her own eyes.
She wheels back, shocked at the
pistol I clutch tightly, she never
knew what I held in my cold hands.
(She has never held mine in her own.)
Instant realization for the both of
us. Courage isn't to take her blows
for her, for the thousandth time.
Courage is to step aside, to leave
her to her own devices, as she takes
the blows by herself. To stand aside
and watch, silently. One by one.
Each time she blindly stumbles
into what she thinks is fun.
The road is riddled with booby
traps, enemies in ambush, I
guide her like a native guides
a Westerner in the jungles of
Africa. She snaps shots along
the way, whistling, pointing at
exotic bugs, birds of paradise,
an everyday sight for me but
they speak of intangible demise.
How fortunate I am to always be
just a step before her. All the
hidden dangers, threats, remain
unknown to her. Even I trip,
and each time she picks me up,
her gentleness breath-taking.
Quickly quietly loading clips
I tell myself she is specious.
But I cannot afford to lose her,
I carry on no matter how tedious
it gets. Hey you're standing in
my way, she says. Move aside, she
insists. I insist back. No way.
Fine she says, stomping off in
another direction. I see ahead of
her, senses strange, firing a shot
warding off another beast lurking
in the shadows. The world is full
of them, harmless in her own eyes.
She wheels back, shocked at the
pistol I clutch tightly, she never
knew what I held in my cold hands.
(She has never held mine in her own.)
Instant realization for the both of
us. Courage isn't to take her blows
for her, for the thousandth time.
Courage is to step aside, to leave
her to her own devices, as she takes
the blows by herself. To stand aside
and watch, silently. One by one.