I Didn't Like the Original Title I Had Here... So, I Changed it to This.
So, I talked with Jaclyn last night... I don't know that I'm going to get to see her any time soon. She's got literally two weekends between now and april that she can do, and I'll have to look over my stuff, because I'm not quite sure when I'm going to be able to do things. I have so much crap going on this quarter reading wise and work wise. It's intimidating. I could tell she felt really guilty on the phone. It's not her fault, and I'm not upset with her. This situation is sucky, but it's not like she doesn't have fifty million things to do too.
Additionally she's going to have a whole lot of expenses between now and the end of school what with flying places for interviews for jobs (good point: she's gotten lots of offers. bad point: many of the offers have sucked.) and then moving expenses. if anything at all happens it'll be me trying to go see her in florida. she thinks i don't like florida.. it's not that :) it's that the beach hates me. it makes me a) more self conscious of my body (which i really don't like.) b) makes me turn the color of a ripe tomato and c) gives me staph infections (tis true!!! happened last time i was down there. got a staph infection in my skin and had my dodctor look at me in a worried way that i've not seen him do ever before.) So... that's a disappointing development. Can't say I'm surprised, but it's disappointing. She said maybe once she's got a job that she can figure something out, but honestly that's gonna be a while, and i'm out of school for a year or so post June.. and then i'll hopefully have something work-wise (internship wise...?). Plus, whatever I'm doing I will have to arrange to be gone a significant amt of time in september. So, I have no idea how we're going to figure this out.
I have to say tho... I miss my best friend. I know we've agreed to call each other more often than we have been (which really isn't all that often, maybe once or twice every couple weeks.) but it's not the same as getting to see her now and then. Anyway, I'm getting myself all mopey, and that will only make this more dreadful to read through, if in fact any of you are intrepid enough to read this far.
Also this morning I have been contemplating dropping my regulation and deregulation class... I'd go from 16 to 13 credits, but right now I feel like I have so much to do anyway. If I'm going to be able to study for comps and maintain everything else I'm feeling like I might need to. I'm not loving the notion of zero public policy classes, but there's no mandate that I have to take one every quarter. Besides, I am not at all enthused about the subject. Which just makes me wonder why the hell am I taking the class? Well, that's a moot point now..I just dropped it. I feel kinda bad about it, but more relieved than guilty. It means that Monday nights i should find my way to doing homework rather than sitting in a class I am very unhappy with. Well, I also didn't want to be doing all the bloody reading for it, which was also dull. Not just that, but um, I don't see myself ever working on public utilities. I don't want to work in that sector, and I'm not at all interested in it.
Lastly, January arrived today, with all its cold and snow. There's not much on the ground, but it is there. I don't ever mind the concept of winter... and I love the way that snow can look. Somehow though snow and cold alaways bring a morefavorable mental image than the actual experience. Ansel Adams and colleagues make snow look like the picture of purity and vastness. That winter scenes somehow provide clarity and simplicity. looking outside from a window in winter makes me think of curling up with a good book, or all the cliches of cuddling by a fireplace. Those aren't things of winter really, those are things of hearth and home and partnerships and represent the turning away from the cold. So, these things I think of when i believe I'm thinking of snow, really have nothing at all to do with the snow. I like the thoughts most of the time. I like clarity, simplicity, warmth, and comfort. I rarely however enjoy my toes being freezing and my fingers feeling like ice while my face is buffeted by snowy january winds. This season, unlike fall, isn't really very welcoming. Maybe I will blame my nervousness and unsettled emotions on January's cold shoulder.
Additionally she's going to have a whole lot of expenses between now and the end of school what with flying places for interviews for jobs (good point: she's gotten lots of offers. bad point: many of the offers have sucked.) and then moving expenses. if anything at all happens it'll be me trying to go see her in florida. she thinks i don't like florida.. it's not that :) it's that the beach hates me. it makes me a) more self conscious of my body (which i really don't like.) b) makes me turn the color of a ripe tomato and c) gives me staph infections (tis true!!! happened last time i was down there. got a staph infection in my skin and had my dodctor look at me in a worried way that i've not seen him do ever before.) So... that's a disappointing development. Can't say I'm surprised, but it's disappointing. She said maybe once she's got a job that she can figure something out, but honestly that's gonna be a while, and i'm out of school for a year or so post June.. and then i'll hopefully have something work-wise (internship wise...?). Plus, whatever I'm doing I will have to arrange to be gone a significant amt of time in september. So, I have no idea how we're going to figure this out.
I have to say tho... I miss my best friend. I know we've agreed to call each other more often than we have been (which really isn't all that often, maybe once or twice every couple weeks.) but it's not the same as getting to see her now and then. Anyway, I'm getting myself all mopey, and that will only make this more dreadful to read through, if in fact any of you are intrepid enough to read this far.
Also this morning I have been contemplating dropping my regulation and deregulation class... I'd go from 16 to 13 credits, but right now I feel like I have so much to do anyway. If I'm going to be able to study for comps and maintain everything else I'm feeling like I might need to. I'm not loving the notion of zero public policy classes, but there's no mandate that I have to take one every quarter. Besides, I am not at all enthused about the subject. Which just makes me wonder why the hell am I taking the class? Well, that's a moot point now..I just dropped it. I feel kinda bad about it, but more relieved than guilty. It means that Monday nights i should find my way to doing homework rather than sitting in a class I am very unhappy with. Well, I also didn't want to be doing all the bloody reading for it, which was also dull. Not just that, but um, I don't see myself ever working on public utilities. I don't want to work in that sector, and I'm not at all interested in it.
Lastly, January arrived today, with all its cold and snow. There's not much on the ground, but it is there. I don't ever mind the concept of winter... and I love the way that snow can look. Somehow though snow and cold alaways bring a morefavorable mental image than the actual experience. Ansel Adams and colleagues make snow look like the picture of purity and vastness. That winter scenes somehow provide clarity and simplicity. looking outside from a window in winter makes me think of curling up with a good book, or all the cliches of cuddling by a fireplace. Those aren't things of winter really, those are things of hearth and home and partnerships and represent the turning away from the cold. So, these things I think of when i believe I'm thinking of snow, really have nothing at all to do with the snow. I like the thoughts most of the time. I like clarity, simplicity, warmth, and comfort. I rarely however enjoy my toes being freezing and my fingers feeling like ice while my face is buffeted by snowy january winds. This season, unlike fall, isn't really very welcoming. Maybe I will blame my nervousness and unsettled emotions on January's cold shoulder.