There are boys kissing each other loudly in the kitchen.
Sometimes they even put on a show.
I guess if it makes them happy. Thinking they're making a voyeur out of me.
O wee.
The moment I stepped into class this morning I wanted to bolt right back the way I came. I had absolutely no idea there was a test today. I'm assuming one was just suppose to read the outline of the course, but I didn't. Not surprising. Plus it was on legislation, which is taught in the first semester. That I wasn't there for. I haven't looked at the my legislation documents since...well over a year ago now. Needless to say I'm not trying not to think about it as much as possible because the only question I can ask is 'I wonder how much I'll fail it by'.
At least I managed to find a group hastily for the major assignment. Create a personalized funeral and execute it for the class. Although they've changed it a bit thankfully. Up until this year the teachers would just make a little home video of someone coming into a funeral home to make arrangements and we took our information from that and created a funeral service. Now though, they're giving much more freedom (well, sort of) in that we are to choose a film character and pretend that they've died (though they don't necessarily have to pass away in the film.) Of course, the key is to try and choose a relatively interesting character so you have lots to work with. I would really really like to do Maude from Harold and Maude. Not because I think it's some easy route due to the context of the film. Simply because in her own right, Maude was a gorgeous gorgeous individual. Plus, I know in the end there were be a Cat Stevens sing a along, and if that doesn't do it for people, I don't know what would.
I never really made any New Years resolutions, but I am in desperate desperate need of change. Tomorrow being pay day I need to make it the first day of me making a conscious effort to build up a stable life. A manageable life for myself. I've had 8 months of dicking around, and it's really high time I knocked some sense into myself. I didn't even putter about in the sense of always having a good time. I just didn't acknowledge things. At all. I'm still not. But I'm really really really really really trying. Really really. It's tiring.
Sunday night I checked my bank account. I had absolutely no money to claim as my own. Three zeros to symbolize my funds. A maxed out credit card, that I barely ever put money onto therefore making me a 'credit delinquent in the eyes of my bank' I'm 19 and already have bad credit. Go me!
A little while ago I met a boy who is fast becoming a very very nice friend to have around. I also realized last night that, more or less, he is the first boy that I've been acquainted with and haven't had a thing for. Every one of my male friends (with the exception of perhaps 2) I have, at one point or another, been in like with. Even if it was me just being infatuated with them for a week, it still happened. However, with Vitus. Nothing. And it is so wonderfully refreshing.
I have so many desires and activities I want to see come to fruition. Crafts I want to have a go at. It's going to be such a slow process though. I have to catch up in fixing the foundations of living on ones own before I can actually enjoy it. It seems like it's been forever since this feeling of being on the brink of something has been hovering over me. That's all I feel when I think about it. I'm always just one short jump, or space from something, but I never know what it is, and I can never figure out how to close the seemingly tiny space. Tis rather frustrating I must declare.
If I were to get into everything else my fingers would fall off.
Also, I highly recommend reading 'Haunted' by Chuck Palahniuk. If you're a fan and haven't, do yourself a monumental favour. Even if you're not really a fan and are simply looking for a fantastic collection of work. Go find it.
Golden!
I guess if it makes them happy. Thinking they're making a voyeur out of me.
O wee.
The moment I stepped into class this morning I wanted to bolt right back the way I came. I had absolutely no idea there was a test today. I'm assuming one was just suppose to read the outline of the course, but I didn't. Not surprising. Plus it was on legislation, which is taught in the first semester. That I wasn't there for. I haven't looked at the my legislation documents since...well over a year ago now. Needless to say I'm not trying not to think about it as much as possible because the only question I can ask is 'I wonder how much I'll fail it by'.
At least I managed to find a group hastily for the major assignment. Create a personalized funeral and execute it for the class. Although they've changed it a bit thankfully. Up until this year the teachers would just make a little home video of someone coming into a funeral home to make arrangements and we took our information from that and created a funeral service. Now though, they're giving much more freedom (well, sort of) in that we are to choose a film character and pretend that they've died (though they don't necessarily have to pass away in the film.) Of course, the key is to try and choose a relatively interesting character so you have lots to work with. I would really really like to do Maude from Harold and Maude. Not because I think it's some easy route due to the context of the film. Simply because in her own right, Maude was a gorgeous gorgeous individual. Plus, I know in the end there were be a Cat Stevens sing a along, and if that doesn't do it for people, I don't know what would.
I never really made any New Years resolutions, but I am in desperate desperate need of change. Tomorrow being pay day I need to make it the first day of me making a conscious effort to build up a stable life. A manageable life for myself. I've had 8 months of dicking around, and it's really high time I knocked some sense into myself. I didn't even putter about in the sense of always having a good time. I just didn't acknowledge things. At all. I'm still not. But I'm really really really really really trying. Really really. It's tiring.
Sunday night I checked my bank account. I had absolutely no money to claim as my own. Three zeros to symbolize my funds. A maxed out credit card, that I barely ever put money onto therefore making me a 'credit delinquent in the eyes of my bank' I'm 19 and already have bad credit. Go me!
A little while ago I met a boy who is fast becoming a very very nice friend to have around. I also realized last night that, more or less, he is the first boy that I've been acquainted with and haven't had a thing for. Every one of my male friends (with the exception of perhaps 2) I have, at one point or another, been in like with. Even if it was me just being infatuated with them for a week, it still happened. However, with Vitus. Nothing. And it is so wonderfully refreshing.
I have so many desires and activities I want to see come to fruition. Crafts I want to have a go at. It's going to be such a slow process though. I have to catch up in fixing the foundations of living on ones own before I can actually enjoy it. It seems like it's been forever since this feeling of being on the brink of something has been hovering over me. That's all I feel when I think about it. I'm always just one short jump, or space from something, but I never know what it is, and I can never figure out how to close the seemingly tiny space. Tis rather frustrating I must declare.
If I were to get into everything else my fingers would fall off.
Also, I highly recommend reading 'Haunted' by Chuck Palahniuk. If you're a fan and haven't, do yourself a monumental favour. Even if you're not really a fan and are simply looking for a fantastic collection of work. Go find it.
Golden!