And I'm alone now

[adeline19]

A few weeks ago I was having trouble sleeping; I couldn't shut off all the negative thoughts floating around in my head. I was afraid of hurting myself, and so I decided to call the one person I knew would be awake. Liz. Yes, I was still pissed at her for leading me on with her flirting, only to say she had zero interest in me, but I figured any company would be better than sitting alone and potentially doing something I'd later regret. Flash forward to today. Liz emailed me to say that she did not want to be remotely involved with my depression. And, I can understand that...but, I thought she had said she wanted to be my friend. And, it's just cold to leave me...throw it in my face that she doesn't want to be associated with me when I'm already trying to recover from depression.
I needed to talk to someone about this. I needed someone to assure me that things would get better sometime...someone to listen to me, and maybe a shoulder to cry on. So, I figured Amy would be a good person to talk to--she used to always say that I could talk to her whenever. Her door used to be open to me. But now, ever time I try to talk to her she says, "I can't do anything." She basically pushes me away, makes me feel bad for asking. Tells me I'm on my own...and I can't stand to be alone right now.
I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but am I wrong to depend on my friends. I don't ask that people fix my problems...just be there for me.