Notice for Alfred F. Jones in regards to recent behavior at World Summit meetings.
Title: Notice for Alfred F. Jones in reference to recent behavior at World Summit meetings.
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Characters/Pairings: America(Alfred), mentions of other nations
Words: 361
Rating: G
Warnings: a few very mild dirty jokes
Summary: jumping on the bandwagon for this kink request: 101 things Alfred F. Jones is no longer allowed to do at UN meetings.
Author's Notes: I couldn't resist...the list isn't long now (because I should be asleep instead of doing this) but I'll probably add more as I come up with them
1. Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" is not allowed to hold investigations at world meetings.
2. "Searching for weapons of mass destruction" is not an excuse to put your hands down someone's pants.
3. Do not ask anyone else to search for your "weapon of mass destruction."
4. Staying at Holiday Inn Express will not actually make you more intelligent and does not give you the qualifications to perform surgery, legal counsel, human experimentation, electronic repairs, etc.
5. "Engrish" is not a language and should not be spoken around the Asian countries.
6. Do not discuss border security with Mexico just to piss him off.
7. Do not taunt Mexico by holding your glasses above your head and telling him to try to get Texas back.
8. Do not instigate arguments by asking who really discovered America.
9. It is not a good idea to use a red pen on England's notes to add correct American spelling.
10. Being called a "melting pot" does not give you the right to claim that a state is the "love child" of you and another nation.
11. -It also does not give you the right to demand child support.
12. It is not appropriate to tell Spain that you finally found the Fountain of Youth.
13. Using American films featuring foreigners speaking English is not evidence that everyone actually speaks English.
14. It is not a good idea to feed Japan or China the "American version" of Japanese or Chinese food.
15. Beginning a meeting with, "In the previous episode of The World Summit," is completely inappropriate.
16. Ending a meeting with a melodramatic recap and asking an invisible audience to, "Tune in next time to find out the fate of the world," is also inappropriate.
17. Convincing one of the female nations to pluck England's eyebrows qualifies as "cruel and unusual punishment" and should never be attempted again.
18. Do not ask France if he has resumed his relationship with "Mademoiselle Guillotine."
19. Do not shout, "Freedom!" every time Scotland begins to speak.
20. New Zealand will not respond to "hobbit" or "Frodo."
21. There are no hobbits in New Zealand.
Not very many for now, but I just had to post them while they were in my head.
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Characters/Pairings: America(Alfred), mentions of other nations
Words: 361
Rating: G
Warnings: a few very mild dirty jokes
Summary: jumping on the bandwagon for this kink request: 101 things Alfred F. Jones is no longer allowed to do at UN meetings.
Author's Notes: I couldn't resist...the list isn't long now (because I should be asleep instead of doing this) but I'll probably add more as I come up with them
1. Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" is not allowed to hold investigations at world meetings.
2. "Searching for weapons of mass destruction" is not an excuse to put your hands down someone's pants.
3. Do not ask anyone else to search for your "weapon of mass destruction."
4. Staying at Holiday Inn Express will not actually make you more intelligent and does not give you the qualifications to perform surgery, legal counsel, human experimentation, electronic repairs, etc.
5. "Engrish" is not a language and should not be spoken around the Asian countries.
6. Do not discuss border security with Mexico just to piss him off.
7. Do not taunt Mexico by holding your glasses above your head and telling him to try to get Texas back.
8. Do not instigate arguments by asking who really discovered America.
9. It is not a good idea to use a red pen on England's notes to add correct American spelling.
10. Being called a "melting pot" does not give you the right to claim that a state is the "love child" of you and another nation.
11. -It also does not give you the right to demand child support.
12. It is not appropriate to tell Spain that you finally found the Fountain of Youth.
13. Using American films featuring foreigners speaking English is not evidence that everyone actually speaks English.
14. It is not a good idea to feed Japan or China the "American version" of Japanese or Chinese food.
15. Beginning a meeting with, "In the previous episode of The World Summit," is completely inappropriate.
16. Ending a meeting with a melodramatic recap and asking an invisible audience to, "Tune in next time to find out the fate of the world," is also inappropriate.
17. Convincing one of the female nations to pluck England's eyebrows qualifies as "cruel and unusual punishment" and should never be attempted again.
18. Do not ask France if he has resumed his relationship with "Mademoiselle Guillotine."
19. Do not shout, "Freedom!" every time Scotland begins to speak.
20. New Zealand will not respond to "hobbit" or "Frodo."
21. There are no hobbits in New Zealand.
Not very many for now, but I just had to post them while they were in my head.