(no subject)
what happens if i discover that i suck? i could soul search for years but if something is genuinely wrong with me, what do i do then? i know what i want to do if my core is good, but i'm actually the awful person i suspect that i am...what if i am innately lazy? none of my dreams are possible if i'll always be as slothful as i've been in the past. what am i to do with that? what if the worst things i suspect about myself are the facts? i could think and wonder and explore and learn for years, but there's no denying gentics, or certain habits built during childhood, or subconscious paranoias...or maybe, these are all excuses for just being awful. how does one know?