(no subject)
i've been having the strangest dreams lately. they're so vivid; each is easier to recall than the one before it. i'm happy that i'm dreaming, though, because then my brain is working harder to sort itself out. people and themes pop into my mind without any conscious effort, and it's been surprising what my brain chooses to focus on. i'm having trouble falling asleep, rarely turning the light off before three a.m. and i'm up at nine or ten with nothing to do.
at first i was beating myself up for spending so much time alone and inactive. but then i realized that this time of calm could be really helpful. at times i wish i could go even further into solitude, maybe spend a week in the cabin my grandparents own in Maine. i'd love to wake up in the forest and spend my days walking, exploring, trying to learn new skills. i'd like to feel more useful, more productive, without also feeling drained.
mike bronner and i have been dating for a little more than three months, and it's been wonderful. he's very sweet, and we always have great conversations. i'm helping him move into a new apartment later in the week. we moved him out of his old house and into a storage unit a few weeks ago and it wasn't too difficult. i think we're very similar but we also balance each other out in many ways. and i find him overwhelmingly attrative...it's a very new sensation for me to be so attracted to my partner. he's definitely keeping me sane. there are many days during which he is the only person i talk to, and i don't mind that. anyway, i'm very happy. i'm overjoyed to have my previous opinions about romance proven wrong.
all's quiet on the job front. i've applied to a number of things in clinton and the surrounding towns, but now that i'm running low on funds, i'm just doing online applications. i haven't had a response in a few days, and i'm trying to not let it bother me. i know i will find something as long as i am willing to keep looking, willing to work hard. and my dad's patience is incredibly helpful. i'm partially inspired to find work so as to help him out, and reassure him that i won't abuse his generosity like other members of the family have.
i don't really feel like writing; it had been awhile and i wanted to give it a try. maybe i'll write more when something comes to me.
at first i was beating myself up for spending so much time alone and inactive. but then i realized that this time of calm could be really helpful. at times i wish i could go even further into solitude, maybe spend a week in the cabin my grandparents own in Maine. i'd love to wake up in the forest and spend my days walking, exploring, trying to learn new skills. i'd like to feel more useful, more productive, without also feeling drained.
mike bronner and i have been dating for a little more than three months, and it's been wonderful. he's very sweet, and we always have great conversations. i'm helping him move into a new apartment later in the week. we moved him out of his old house and into a storage unit a few weeks ago and it wasn't too difficult. i think we're very similar but we also balance each other out in many ways. and i find him overwhelmingly attrative...it's a very new sensation for me to be so attracted to my partner. he's definitely keeping me sane. there are many days during which he is the only person i talk to, and i don't mind that. anyway, i'm very happy. i'm overjoyed to have my previous opinions about romance proven wrong.
all's quiet on the job front. i've applied to a number of things in clinton and the surrounding towns, but now that i'm running low on funds, i'm just doing online applications. i haven't had a response in a few days, and i'm trying to not let it bother me. i know i will find something as long as i am willing to keep looking, willing to work hard. and my dad's patience is incredibly helpful. i'm partially inspired to find work so as to help him out, and reassure him that i won't abuse his generosity like other members of the family have.
i don't really feel like writing; it had been awhile and i wanted to give it a try. maybe i'll write more when something comes to me.