For this, I am truly, truly sorry.
Title: Eye of the Storm.
Pairing(s): Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Ianto, Merlin/Jack, Merlin/Finn, Arthur/Jack, Arthur/Ianto, Arthur/Finn, Kurt/Finn, Finn/Rachel, Finn/Quinn, Will/Emma, Kurt/Merlin, Kurt/Arthur, Jack/Kurt, Ianto/Kurt, Jack/Finn, Jack/Puck, Jack/Will, Jack/Sue, Jack/Emma, Jack/Ken, Jack/Rachel, Jack/Quinn, Doctor/Emma, Doctor/Sue, John/everyone with a heartbeat...
Warnings: Uhm. Kind of cracky, very strange, and with about fifty pairings, as seen above - yes, I'm going to get all of them in. Or at least, I'm going to try my damn hardest to get them all in. What else? Well, I'm not sure. For now, that's all I can think of.
Spoiler(s): At the moment, none. I'll let you know if there are going to be any.
Word count: 987.
Rating: G for this part.
Summary: When the Doctor crash lands in Lima, Ohio, he finds he has some unexpected companions.
Author's Notes: Sigh. I am truly, truly sorry for this - blame Muffin - aka woodsgal - entirely. I wasn't going to post it but she, relentless person that she is, convinced me. Since I've had a few and therefore am very open to convincing, it wasn't particularly hard. But yes, I am sorry for this truly bizarre crossover. It is just going to get weirder from here. I'm not sure why the title is what it is - I am sure it will come to me later with some great wave of illumination or something. This is just the prologue - I want to see what people think of it before I really start getting into the idea, so con. crit. will be greatly loved, guys.
“What. The. Hell?!”
“I second that.”
“Is this…America? I think this is America.”
“Well, you’d know that, wouldn’t you, Yankee Doodle Day!”
“Hey, don’t take this out on me!”
“What’s going on here? Where are we?!”
“Uh…I have no idea.”
“Useless as always, I see.”
“Who are you, anyway?”
“Why am I sixteen again?”
“Good question. Why are we all sixteen again?”
“PLEASE, STOP WITH THE QUESTIONS!”
All five of the arguing young men paused and turned towards the tall, thin, brown haired man who was staring at them, a mixture of confusion, horror and interest on his face. He had a pair of glasses with thick black frames and was staring out of them with hazel eyes that were alight.
“Can someone please tell me just what, exactly, is going on here?”
Everyone turned to look at the muscular blonde, draped in chain mail that was a little too large. In all the confusion, he had gotten a sword from somewhere - probably the sheath belted at his waist - and was wielding it at the others. Behind him stood a slightly taller, much skinnier man with big ears, high cheekbones and dark hair. Both of them had eyes that were a ridiculous blue.
All the other men - aside from the Doctor - stared in obvious admiration.
“I…I’m not really sure.”
The brunette man wearing an old fashioned RAF coat a couple of sizes too large for him turned to stare at him, mouth gaping.
“Doctor?! You…don’t know?”
“I’m afraid I don’t, Jack.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, then the Doctor clapped his hands together.
“Well, why don’t you guys come inside the TARDIS and I’ll try and figure out what is wrong? And, uh…you might want to put that sword away.”
The blonde man sighed but put his sword away, and the Doctor lead them all into the TARDIS.
“It’s bigger on the inside,” the dark haired man whispered to the blonde.
“Is it? I hadn’t noticed,” the Doctor said brightly. They looked scared.
“Jack, is anyone going to explain this?”
“The Doctor will. Soon enough. Right?”
“Of course! Just take a seat and I’ll find out what happened.”
The five other men sat down, the blonde and the dark haired man a little way from the others. One man took a seat at Jack’s feet, sitting between his legs, and Jack played with his brown hair absently, in a way that suggested they did this often. The other man with them watched jealously.
The Doctor pressed buttons and typed furiously and generally made himself pretty busy. The others watched, Jack still playing absently with the man’s hair. The blonde and the dark haired man - none was any the wiser as to who the hell they were - had clasped their hands together for reassurance. The other man was starting to feel very left out.
“Oh,” the Doctor said, eyebrows going up.
“What is it?” the man sat at Jack’s feet asked. He had a Welsh accent and a very pretty face, and was wearing a suit far too big for him - he hadn’t yet had this growth spurt.
“Well, Ianto…it seems that the two men over there are Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys.”
They looked up at their names, curious.
“What?” the dark haired man asked.
“That is Arthur Pendragon?” Jack asked, just to clarify. The Doctor nodded.
“Yes, the blonde one.”
Jack’s gaze ran slowly along Arthur’s body.
“Well. Not bad, Arthur Pendragon, not bad.”
“Hey, Harkness!! You’ve got a boyfriend. Leave him for those of us that are single.”
“John, he’s not going want you, is he now?”
“And you think he’s more likely to want you?”
“Why yes, actually. I do.”
“Jack!”
Jack looked down at Ianto, who was staring up at him with huge eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Yan. You know I won’t do anything.”
“That you know about,” John stage whispered.
“John, Jack! Shut up, please. Now, why are you all here? Why am I here? And, more to the point, just where is here exactly?” the Doctor mused aloud.
“And why are we all sixteen,” John supplied, helpfully. The Doctor nodded.
“Well, the TARDIS crashed. I’m not sure why. Or why you are all here,” he typed away, and things beeped and pinged. Arthur and Merlin eyed it all nervously.
“It won’t hurt you,” Ianto said softly. They looked at him and Merlin gave a small smile.
“Are you sure?” he asked gently. Ianto nodded.
“Yes. I promise you’ll be fine. If anyone can get you home, the Doctor can.”
“Thank you,” Merlin murmured. Arthur just watched the transaction, his face the mask Merlin had come to know. His poker face.
“Well. It seems that Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones and John Hart were dragged along by some residual,” the Doctor waved a hand, “timey wimey stuff. As for Arthur and Merlin, I’m not entirely sure.”
“Timey wimey stuff,” Ianto repeated, looking sceptical.
“Yep! From when you were last in touch with TARDIS. It does that sometimes, drags people along for reasons I don’t quite know. Maybe because she likes you.”
“I…was doing a spell.”
Everyone turned to look at Merlin, who looked shy and awkward and odd in his extremely old fashioned clothes and the neckerchief around his neck.
“You were?” the Doctor asked. Merlin nodded.
“Yeah. We needed to get away so I performed a spell and then…then I heard this strange noise and then we were outside this…thing. And we were younger. I’m not sure why.”
“Oh. I was going forward in time. I probably passed through your time zone as you were performing your spell! That must have done something to make you all younger. Oh, dear,” the Doctor frowned, looking at his screens.
“But…where are we?” Arthur asked. It was the first time he had spoken since entering the TARDIS. The Doctor looked at them.
“Lima, Ohio.”