BEST. RP. EVER.
I'm sorry, I just have to post this. xD It's too lol-worthy not to share.
I have found that lately, it's been harder and harder for me to randomly come up with bouts of my usual slightly hostile humor. :/ You know, what with stress and all that. Trying to transfer schools, moving away from this hellhole town, juggling a job and my last semester at this college...It sucks for my muse, it does! D: (I even had to get crescent_moony to write my animation script for AB, which is awesome, btw 8D)
So, to make up for my lack of on-call humor, I present to you a bit of completely unintentional RPing between USOTSUKILMAO, aka USODALOL@dA as Sebs-kun and myself as Shieru. 8D
[8:37:55 PM] Maddie: NO FACK I CANT THINK OF ANY MORE MOM JOKES
[8:38:12 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: HAHA
[8:38:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I suppose that means I win :DD
[8:39:11 PM] Maddie: Yeah D: But not for long. *pushes out window*
[8:39:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: D': *breaks ass*
[8:39:31 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Y U DO THAT
[8:40:22 PM] Maddie: BECUASE KARMA
[8:41:14 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: KARMA FOR WHAT?!
[8:41:21 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'M ALWAYS NICE
[8:41:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Even when I'm raping, I always mind my manners.
[8:42:35 PM] Maddie: YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME 1/16 OF A CUBE OF SUGAR IN MY TEA. YOU PUT IN 1/17 YOU CHEEKY BASTARD
[8:42:52 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH,
[8:43:04 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DAMN IT, I SUPPOSE THAT IS REASON TO PUSH ME OUT OF A WINDOW.
[8:43:14 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I APOLOGIZE, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
[8:43:41 PM] Maddie: IT BETTER NOT, OR I WILL KILL YOU. *REALLY ANGRY STARE*
[8:44:15 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WITH WHAT.
[8:44:18 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[8:44:54 PM] Maddie: WITH THIS SPIKY DILDO. I WILL BREAK YOUR ASS IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.
[8:45:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: D: OH DEAR LORD, THAT WON'T KILL ME THOUGH!
[8:45:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: COULDN'T YOU JUST,
[8:45:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SHOOT ME IN THE FACE OR SOMETHING?
[8:45:40 PM] Maddie: IT WILL MAKE YOU UNABLE TO SIT FOR A WEEK.
[8:45:46 PM] Maddie: AND THEN I WILL LAUGH
[8:46:07 PM] Maddie: IF I SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE, YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO SIT. :|
[8:46:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH, GIVING ME A TASTE OF MY OWN MEDICINE ARE WE?
[8:46:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YOU NEVER KNOW,
[8:46:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MY ASS MUSCLES COULD BE CONNECTED TO MY FACE FOR ALL YOU KNOW.
[8:47:24 PM] Maddie: THEN ILL BE SURE TO SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE WHILE I FUCK YOU WITH THIS CACTUS. ALSO I BURNED ALL YOUR KITTENS. *trollface*
[8:48:57 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO RUN TO CLAUDE SOMETIMES.
[8:49:06 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: But my manly pride would never allow that.
[8:49:52 PM] Maddie: Not to mention I could just tell Claude that you can't be there and he'd obey my every word. :|
[8:50:27 PM] Maddie: All I have to do is shake my shota ass and he says 'how high'?
[8:50:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[8:50:39 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Damnit.
[8:50:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Well...
[8:51:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: He doesn't know you like I do. So it wouldn't work out. SO HA
[8:51:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: You think me putting 1/17 of sugar in your tea is bad? He'd forget it completely.
[8:52:18 PM] Maddie: >_> Yeah, but he has an excuse since he's practically retarded. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE AND I ENJOY WATCHING YOU PLEAD FOR YOUR LIFE~
[8:52:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AT LEAST I'M BETTER IN BED.
[8:52:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: >.> Little sadist.
[8:54:47 PM] Maddie: YOU THINK YOUR PENIS MAKES UP FOR THE SUGAR IMBALANCE IN MY TEA?
[8:55:04 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WELL YES, IT IS
[8:55:07 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: RATHER ON THE LARGE SIDE.
[8:55:27 PM] Maddie: I CAN FIX THAT. *takes out hack saw*
[8:55:35 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH NO
[8:55:37 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: NO NEED FOR THAT
[8:55:55 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IT'S RETRACTABLE LIKE WILLIAM'S GARDEN SHEARS.
[8:55:59 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: C:
[8:56:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I CAN EXTEND IT AT WILL LIKE CLAUDE DOES WITH HIS TONGUE.
[8:56:52 PM] Maddie: ...YOUVE NEVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE. I WANT A FULL DEMONSTRATION. NOW.
[8:57:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ORLY?
[8:57:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU PROMISE TO NOT TRY AND CUT IT OFF?
[8:57:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Or bite it? :T
[8:58:31 PM] Maddie: ONLY IF YOU DONT MAKE STUPID PUNS WHILE YOU FUCK ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
[8:59:11 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ...
[8:59:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: But that'll take half the fun away!
[8:59:50 PM] Maddie: Do it into this pillow. *pillow-face*
[9:01:17 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *throws pillow out the window* But then I couldn't breathe..
[9:01:50 PM] Maddie: YOU DONT NEED TO BREATH. :| I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT.
[9:02:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OHOKAY THEN...THEN I CAN'T STARE AT YOUR FACE INTENTLY THE ENTIRE TIME.
[9:03:57 PM] Maddie: Yes, that's good. D: You look like the unimpressed face when you do that. IM SORRY IS MY ASS NOT TIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOUR PENCIL DICK?
[9:04:31 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: >:T WOULD YOU RATHER I MAKE A RAPE FACE WHILE I'M BANGING YOU?
[9:05:29 PM] Maddie: ...:| I RATHER YOU BENT OVER MY DESK TO I CAN FUCK YOU AND NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU AT ALL.
[9:06:02 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SUCH A SHAME YOU WON'T BE GETTING THAT.
[9:06:20 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU MAY BE THE BOSS OF ME BUT YOU ARE NOT THE 'BOSS' OF ME, LITTLE BOY.
[9:07:07 PM] Maddie: I SHOW YOU WHOS THE BOSS.
[9:07:16 PM] Maddie: *pimp slap*
[9:07:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *grabs hand* Aw hell no.
[9:07:50 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Not today.
[9:07:59 PM] Maddie: O_O
[9:08:02 PM] Maddie: OH YOU BITCH.
[9:08:19 PM] Maddie: OH NO YOU DI~INT
[9:08:34 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I BELIEVE I JUST DID.
[9:09:02 PM] Maddie: FINE. Have it your way!
[9:09:52 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'M LOVING IT.
[9:10:34 PM] Maddie: That reminds me. MAKE ME BURGERS AND FRIES FOR DINNER. DO IT.
[9:10:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET FAT.
[9:11:28 PM] Maddie: :| IM STILL YOUR MASTER, NO MATTER HOW FAT I GET.
[9:11:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YES BUT IF YOU GET FAT I WON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU
[9:11:43 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AS MUCH.
[9:13:05 PM] Maddie: *runs away crying* YOU ARE SUCH A DICKHEAD FUCKFACE. GO GET ME CHOCOLATE CAKE TO COMFORT ME!
[9:13:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: NO, YOUNG MASTER WAIT!! D8 'M SORRY I-
[9:13:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH GOD
[9:13:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU AREN'T PREGNANT AGAIN ARE YOU?!
[9:14:25 PM] Maddie: NOT LIKE YOU CARE, YOU ASSHAT *breast feeds*
[9:15:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ...how are you doing that.
[9:15:18 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Er, I mean, I do care! D:
[9:16:57 PM] Maddie: THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP STICKING ME WITH THESE LITTLE DEMON BABIES? WE HAVE LIKE 80 NOW!
[9:17:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: UM.
[9:17:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH?
[9:17:26 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I JUST WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY, IS THAT SO WRONG?
[9:18:33 PM] Maddie: IT IS WHEN I FIND DEAD BABIES ALL OVER THE HOUSE BECAUSE YOU DONT FEED THEM. DONT THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE THE TRASH BAGS FULL OF TINY CORPSES.
[9:18:53 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[9:18:57 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WELL YEAH.
[9:19:06 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I HAD THIS IMPRESSION THAT YOU WERE SLIGHTLY RETARDED.
[9:19:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OR AT LEAST IMPARED, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT
[9:19:27 PM] Maddie: WAT. :|
[9:19:37 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Actually I forgot what point I was trying to make, lol.
[9:20:10 PM] Maddie: It's getting harder and harder to explain dead babies to the other servants!
[9:20:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Just blame it on the dog!
[9:21:09 PM] Maddie: OH YEAH THE DOG POOPS MALNOURISHED INFANTS.
[9:21:22 PM] Maddie: FINNY WONT BELIEVE THAT MORE THAN ONCE.
[9:22:12 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: TELL THEM THAT HE FINDS THEM
[9:22:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OR SOMETHING.
[9:22:58 PM] Maddie: YOU DO IT.
[9:23:03 PM] Maddie: THAT'S YOUR JOB.
[9:24:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MAYBE I WILL.
[9:24:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YOU CAN JUST SIT IN YOUR OFFICE ALONE WITH YOUR CHILDREN AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY THEY'RE GOING TO GROW UP WITH OUT A DADDY.
[9:27:33 PM] Maddie: YOUR ONE HELL OF A WHATEVER YOU ARE, YOU CAN EASILY MAKE UP EXCUSES AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.
[9:27:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DO NOT TAKE UP THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME, MASTER
[9:28:08 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SPANK YO' PREGNANT ASS.
[9:29:20 PM] Maddie: ...>_> REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU SPANKED ME WHILE I WAS PREGNANT. I GAVE BIRTH TO A VICTORIAN CELINE DION.
[9:30:08 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DAMN IT.
[9:30:29 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MAYBE I'LL JUST FORCE AN ABORTION
[9:30:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND THEN SPANK YOU
[9:31:24 PM] Maddie: IF YOU SPANK ME TOO HARD THE FETUS WILL COME OUT MY MOUTH D< DO YOU REALLY WANNA CLEAN THAT UP AGAIN? D:
[9:31:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: N-NO.
[9:31:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: GODDAMN IT I'M JUST SO ANGRY AND HORNY.
[9:32:00 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY FEELINGS SINCE YOU'RE ALWAYS PREGNANT.
[9:32:15 PM] Maddie: WEAR A MOTHERFUCKING CONDOM!
[9:32:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU KNOW CONDOMS MAKE ME INSECURE!
[9:33:43 PM] Maddie: WHY? IS A LITTLE RUBBER TOO MUCH FOR YOUR MASSIVE GIRTH?
[9:34:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YES
[9:34:24 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IT'S ALMOST AS TIGHT AS YOU.
[9:34:58 PM] Maddie: THEN WE USE SARAN WRAP.
[9:35:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE A PILL.
[9:35:15 PM] Maddie: WHY HAVE YOU NOT THOUGHT THIS FAR AEAD?
[9:35:18 PM] Maddie: *AHEAD
[9:35:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I DUNNO!
[9:35:55 PM] Maddie: BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. YOU EXIST TO PLEASE ME!
[9:36:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SO YOU ENJOY GETTING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH?
[9:36:39 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I ENJOY WATCHING YOU CRY, SO THANK YOU FOR THAT.
[9:37:36 PM] Maddie: THEN I WILL GET AN ABORTION ALL THE TIME. 24/7 ABORTIONS!
[9:38:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH GOOD, THEN I CAN SPANK YOU MORE OFTEN.
[9:39:05 PM] Maddie: *THROWS HANDS IN THE AIR* OH GOOD!
[9:39:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU CANNOT WIN.
[9:40:03 PM] Maddie: GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH BEFORE I SET YOUR FACE ON FIRE YOU FFFFFAGGOT!
[9:40:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: FFFFFFFFFFFFMAYBE I WANT TO JUST STAND HERE LIKE A SMARMY JACK ASS.
[9:40:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND EYEBALL YOUR TINY BULGE.
[9:41:25 PM] Maddie: FUCK YOU, I'M STILL GROWING.
[9:41:41 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: PFT
[9:41:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU'RE THIRTEEN
[9:41:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YET
[9:41:53 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HIT PUEBERTY.
[9:42:30 PM] Maddie: IF I HAVENT HIT PUBERTY, HOW THE HELL AM I ABLE TO BIRTH A WHOLE ARMY OF DEMON SPAWN?
[9:43:21 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DEMONIC SPERM.
[9:43:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DURP.
[9:44:22 PM] Maddie: MY ASS IS FOREVER A GAPING VORTEX BECAUSE OF YOU.
[9:45:02 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MORE LIKE A TIGHT PORTAL TO HELL.
[9:45:13 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Which explains a lot, actually.
[9:46:04 PM] Maddie: AND THERE YOU GO WITH THE PUNS AGAIN.
[9:46:26 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: PROBLEM?!
[9:46:39 PM] Maddie: YA, ACTUALLY.
[9:47:03 PM] Maddie: NOW MY ERECTION IS LESS THAN GONE. IT'S ACTUALLY INSIDE MY PELVIS.
[9:47:58 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: LIAR
[9:48:07 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Wait you had an erection.
[9:48:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: C:
[9:48:33 PM] Maddie: *so many middle fingers forever*
[9:48:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *ignores*
[9:48:49 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: So about that erection.
[9:48:59 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: That tiny erection. >:3
[9:49:26 PM] Maddie: I bet it won't feel so tiny once I shove it up your ass.
[9:49:56 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Actually, it probably will.
[9:50:55 PM] Maddie: Oh right, you're used to shoving canisters upon canisters of shit up there, aren't you >_>
[9:51:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: N-no.
[9:51:50 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT YOU ARE.
[9:51:54 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU LITTLE WHORE.
[9:52:41 PM] Maddie: DONT YOU DARE PIN THIS ON ME. IT'S HARD TO FEEL ANYTHING WHEN YOU HAVE TINY DEMONS COMING FROM THERE ON A REGULAR BASIS.
[9:53:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LOVE, BOCCHAN
[9:53:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: THE LOVE
[9:53:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: THE LOVE,
[9:53:49 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHERE IS THE LOVE?
[9:55:02 PM] Maddie: THE LOVE DIED WHEN YOU STOPPED LOOKING ME IN THE EYE WHEN WE MAKE LOVE *moe tears*
[9:55:38 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH BOCCHAN
[9:55:40 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'LL LOOK AT YOU AGAIN
[9:56:33 PM] Maddie: TT___TT WHY DONT YOU KISS ME WHEN WE DO IT?!
[9:57:11 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH A PILLOW EVERYTIME I TRY
[9:57:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT
[9:57:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IF YOU WANT
[9:57:29 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I WILL AGAIN
[9:58:05 PM] Maddie: OH SEBASTIAN~ *CHEESY SAXIPHONE*
[9:59:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH CIEL~
[9:59:15 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I MEAN BOCCHAN!~
[9:59:35 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *PINK SHOJO BUBBLES ER'YWHERE*
[10:00:21 PM] Maddie: *bats eyelashes* COME PUT YOUR BIG DEMON MEAT INTO MY PORTAL TO HELL~
[10:01:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *rips clothes off* YES MY LORD~!
[10:01:43 PM] Maddie: *APPROPRIATE CENSORS, AKA, SMALL BLACK BARS ON THE TIPS OF DICKS*
~*I'll spare you the derpy sex scene of much derp.*~ xD
I have found that lately, it's been harder and harder for me to randomly come up with bouts of my usual slightly hostile humor. :/ You know, what with stress and all that. Trying to transfer schools, moving away from this hellhole town, juggling a job and my last semester at this college...It sucks for my muse, it does! D: (I even had to get crescent_moony to write my animation script for AB, which is awesome, btw 8D)
So, to make up for my lack of on-call humor, I present to you a bit of completely unintentional RPing between USOTSUKILMAO, aka USODALOL@dA as Sebs-kun and myself as Shieru. 8D
[8:37:55 PM] Maddie: NO FACK I CANT THINK OF ANY MORE MOM JOKES
[8:38:12 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: HAHA
[8:38:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I suppose that means I win :DD
[8:39:11 PM] Maddie: Yeah D: But not for long. *pushes out window*
[8:39:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: D': *breaks ass*
[8:39:31 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Y U DO THAT
[8:40:22 PM] Maddie: BECUASE KARMA
[8:41:14 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: KARMA FOR WHAT?!
[8:41:21 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'M ALWAYS NICE
[8:41:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Even when I'm raping, I always mind my manners.
[8:42:35 PM] Maddie: YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME 1/16 OF A CUBE OF SUGAR IN MY TEA. YOU PUT IN 1/17 YOU CHEEKY BASTARD
[8:42:52 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH,
[8:43:04 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DAMN IT, I SUPPOSE THAT IS REASON TO PUSH ME OUT OF A WINDOW.
[8:43:14 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I APOLOGIZE, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
[8:43:41 PM] Maddie: IT BETTER NOT, OR I WILL KILL YOU. *REALLY ANGRY STARE*
[8:44:15 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WITH WHAT.
[8:44:18 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[8:44:54 PM] Maddie: WITH THIS SPIKY DILDO. I WILL BREAK YOUR ASS IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.
[8:45:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: D: OH DEAR LORD, THAT WON'T KILL ME THOUGH!
[8:45:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: COULDN'T YOU JUST,
[8:45:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SHOOT ME IN THE FACE OR SOMETHING?
[8:45:40 PM] Maddie: IT WILL MAKE YOU UNABLE TO SIT FOR A WEEK.
[8:45:46 PM] Maddie: AND THEN I WILL LAUGH
[8:46:07 PM] Maddie: IF I SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE, YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO SIT. :|
[8:46:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH, GIVING ME A TASTE OF MY OWN MEDICINE ARE WE?
[8:46:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YOU NEVER KNOW,
[8:46:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MY ASS MUSCLES COULD BE CONNECTED TO MY FACE FOR ALL YOU KNOW.
[8:47:24 PM] Maddie: THEN ILL BE SURE TO SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE WHILE I FUCK YOU WITH THIS CACTUS. ALSO I BURNED ALL YOUR KITTENS. *trollface*
[8:48:57 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO RUN TO CLAUDE SOMETIMES.
[8:49:06 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: But my manly pride would never allow that.
[8:49:52 PM] Maddie: Not to mention I could just tell Claude that you can't be there and he'd obey my every word. :|
[8:50:27 PM] Maddie: All I have to do is shake my shota ass and he says 'how high'?
[8:50:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[8:50:39 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Damnit.
[8:50:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Well...
[8:51:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: He doesn't know you like I do. So it wouldn't work out. SO HA
[8:51:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: You think me putting 1/17 of sugar in your tea is bad? He'd forget it completely.
[8:52:18 PM] Maddie: >_> Yeah, but he has an excuse since he's practically retarded. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE AND I ENJOY WATCHING YOU PLEAD FOR YOUR LIFE~
[8:52:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AT LEAST I'M BETTER IN BED.
[8:52:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: >.> Little sadist.
[8:54:47 PM] Maddie: YOU THINK YOUR PENIS MAKES UP FOR THE SUGAR IMBALANCE IN MY TEA?
[8:55:04 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WELL YES, IT IS
[8:55:07 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: RATHER ON THE LARGE SIDE.
[8:55:27 PM] Maddie: I CAN FIX THAT. *takes out hack saw*
[8:55:35 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH NO
[8:55:37 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: NO NEED FOR THAT
[8:55:55 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IT'S RETRACTABLE LIKE WILLIAM'S GARDEN SHEARS.
[8:55:59 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: C:
[8:56:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I CAN EXTEND IT AT WILL LIKE CLAUDE DOES WITH HIS TONGUE.
[8:56:52 PM] Maddie: ...YOUVE NEVER MENTIONED THIS BEFORE. I WANT A FULL DEMONSTRATION. NOW.
[8:57:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ORLY?
[8:57:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU PROMISE TO NOT TRY AND CUT IT OFF?
[8:57:51 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Or bite it? :T
[8:58:31 PM] Maddie: ONLY IF YOU DONT MAKE STUPID PUNS WHILE YOU FUCK ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
[8:59:11 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ...
[8:59:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: But that'll take half the fun away!
[8:59:50 PM] Maddie: Do it into this pillow. *pillow-face*
[9:01:17 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *throws pillow out the window* But then I couldn't breathe..
[9:01:50 PM] Maddie: YOU DONT NEED TO BREATH. :| I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT.
[9:02:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OHOKAY THEN...THEN I CAN'T STARE AT YOUR FACE INTENTLY THE ENTIRE TIME.
[9:03:57 PM] Maddie: Yes, that's good. D: You look like the unimpressed face when you do that. IM SORRY IS MY ASS NOT TIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOUR PENCIL DICK?
[9:04:31 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: >:T WOULD YOU RATHER I MAKE A RAPE FACE WHILE I'M BANGING YOU?
[9:05:29 PM] Maddie: ...:| I RATHER YOU BENT OVER MY DESK TO I CAN FUCK YOU AND NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT YOU AT ALL.
[9:06:02 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SUCH A SHAME YOU WON'T BE GETTING THAT.
[9:06:20 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU MAY BE THE BOSS OF ME BUT YOU ARE NOT THE 'BOSS' OF ME, LITTLE BOY.
[9:07:07 PM] Maddie: I SHOW YOU WHOS THE BOSS.
[9:07:16 PM] Maddie: *pimp slap*
[9:07:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *grabs hand* Aw hell no.
[9:07:50 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Not today.
[9:07:59 PM] Maddie: O_O
[9:08:02 PM] Maddie: OH YOU BITCH.
[9:08:19 PM] Maddie: OH NO YOU DI~INT
[9:08:34 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I BELIEVE I JUST DID.
[9:09:02 PM] Maddie: FINE. Have it your way!
[9:09:52 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'M LOVING IT.
[9:10:34 PM] Maddie: That reminds me. MAKE ME BURGERS AND FRIES FOR DINNER. DO IT.
[9:10:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET FAT.
[9:11:28 PM] Maddie: :| IM STILL YOUR MASTER, NO MATTER HOW FAT I GET.
[9:11:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YES BUT IF YOU GET FAT I WON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU
[9:11:43 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AS MUCH.
[9:13:05 PM] Maddie: *runs away crying* YOU ARE SUCH A DICKHEAD FUCKFACE. GO GET ME CHOCOLATE CAKE TO COMFORT ME!
[9:13:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: NO, YOUNG MASTER WAIT!! D8 'M SORRY I-
[9:13:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH GOD
[9:13:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU AREN'T PREGNANT AGAIN ARE YOU?!
[9:14:25 PM] Maddie: NOT LIKE YOU CARE, YOU ASSHAT *breast feeds*
[9:15:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: ...how are you doing that.
[9:15:18 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Er, I mean, I do care! D:
[9:16:57 PM] Maddie: THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP STICKING ME WITH THESE LITTLE DEMON BABIES? WE HAVE LIKE 80 NOW!
[9:17:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: UM.
[9:17:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH?
[9:17:26 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I JUST WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY, IS THAT SO WRONG?
[9:18:33 PM] Maddie: IT IS WHEN I FIND DEAD BABIES ALL OVER THE HOUSE BECAUSE YOU DONT FEED THEM. DONT THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE THE TRASH BAGS FULL OF TINY CORPSES.
[9:18:53 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: :T
[9:18:57 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WELL YEAH.
[9:19:06 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I HAD THIS IMPRESSION THAT YOU WERE SLIGHTLY RETARDED.
[9:19:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OR AT LEAST IMPARED, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT
[9:19:27 PM] Maddie: WAT. :|
[9:19:37 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Actually I forgot what point I was trying to make, lol.
[9:20:10 PM] Maddie: It's getting harder and harder to explain dead babies to the other servants!
[9:20:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Just blame it on the dog!
[9:21:09 PM] Maddie: OH YEAH THE DOG POOPS MALNOURISHED INFANTS.
[9:21:22 PM] Maddie: FINNY WONT BELIEVE THAT MORE THAN ONCE.
[9:22:12 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: TELL THEM THAT HE FINDS THEM
[9:22:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OR SOMETHING.
[9:22:58 PM] Maddie: YOU DO IT.
[9:23:03 PM] Maddie: THAT'S YOUR JOB.
[9:24:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MAYBE I WILL.
[9:24:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YOU CAN JUST SIT IN YOUR OFFICE ALONE WITH YOUR CHILDREN AND EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY THEY'RE GOING TO GROW UP WITH OUT A DADDY.
[9:27:33 PM] Maddie: YOUR ONE HELL OF A WHATEVER YOU ARE, YOU CAN EASILY MAKE UP EXCUSES AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.
[9:27:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DO NOT TAKE UP THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME, MASTER
[9:28:08 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SPANK YO' PREGNANT ASS.
[9:29:20 PM] Maddie: ...>_> REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU SPANKED ME WHILE I WAS PREGNANT. I GAVE BIRTH TO A VICTORIAN CELINE DION.
[9:30:08 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DAMN IT.
[9:30:29 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MAYBE I'LL JUST FORCE AN ABORTION
[9:30:33 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND THEN SPANK YOU
[9:31:24 PM] Maddie: IF YOU SPANK ME TOO HARD THE FETUS WILL COME OUT MY MOUTH D< DO YOU REALLY WANNA CLEAN THAT UP AGAIN? D:
[9:31:36 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: N-NO.
[9:31:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: GODDAMN IT I'M JUST SO ANGRY AND HORNY.
[9:32:00 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY FEELINGS SINCE YOU'RE ALWAYS PREGNANT.
[9:32:15 PM] Maddie: WEAR A MOTHERFUCKING CONDOM!
[9:32:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU KNOW CONDOMS MAKE ME INSECURE!
[9:33:43 PM] Maddie: WHY? IS A LITTLE RUBBER TOO MUCH FOR YOUR MASSIVE GIRTH?
[9:34:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YES
[9:34:24 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IT'S ALMOST AS TIGHT AS YOU.
[9:34:58 PM] Maddie: THEN WE USE SARAN WRAP.
[9:35:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE A PILL.
[9:35:15 PM] Maddie: WHY HAVE YOU NOT THOUGHT THIS FAR AEAD?
[9:35:18 PM] Maddie: *AHEAD
[9:35:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I DUNNO!
[9:35:55 PM] Maddie: BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. YOU EXIST TO PLEASE ME!
[9:36:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: SO YOU ENJOY GETTING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH?
[9:36:39 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I ENJOY WATCHING YOU CRY, SO THANK YOU FOR THAT.
[9:37:36 PM] Maddie: THEN I WILL GET AN ABORTION ALL THE TIME. 24/7 ABORTIONS!
[9:38:27 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH GOOD, THEN I CAN SPANK YOU MORE OFTEN.
[9:39:05 PM] Maddie: *THROWS HANDS IN THE AIR* OH GOOD!
[9:39:16 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU CANNOT WIN.
[9:40:03 PM] Maddie: GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH BEFORE I SET YOUR FACE ON FIRE YOU FFFFFAGGOT!
[9:40:28 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: FFFFFFFFFFFFMAYBE I WANT TO JUST STAND HERE LIKE A SMARMY JACK ASS.
[9:40:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND EYEBALL YOUR TINY BULGE.
[9:41:25 PM] Maddie: FUCK YOU, I'M STILL GROWING.
[9:41:41 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: PFT
[9:41:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU'RE THIRTEEN
[9:41:46 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: AND YET
[9:41:53 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HIT PUEBERTY.
[9:42:30 PM] Maddie: IF I HAVENT HIT PUBERTY, HOW THE HELL AM I ABLE TO BIRTH A WHOLE ARMY OF DEMON SPAWN?
[9:43:21 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DEMONIC SPERM.
[9:43:23 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: DURP.
[9:44:22 PM] Maddie: MY ASS IS FOREVER A GAPING VORTEX BECAUSE OF YOU.
[9:45:02 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: MORE LIKE A TIGHT PORTAL TO HELL.
[9:45:13 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Which explains a lot, actually.
[9:46:04 PM] Maddie: AND THERE YOU GO WITH THE PUNS AGAIN.
[9:46:26 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: PROBLEM?!
[9:46:39 PM] Maddie: YA, ACTUALLY.
[9:47:03 PM] Maddie: NOW MY ERECTION IS LESS THAN GONE. IT'S ACTUALLY INSIDE MY PELVIS.
[9:47:58 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: LIAR
[9:48:07 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Wait you had an erection.
[9:48:09 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: C:
[9:48:33 PM] Maddie: *so many middle fingers forever*
[9:48:44 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *ignores*
[9:48:49 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: So about that erection.
[9:48:59 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: That tiny erection. >:3
[9:49:26 PM] Maddie: I bet it won't feel so tiny once I shove it up your ass.
[9:49:56 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: Actually, it probably will.
[9:50:55 PM] Maddie: Oh right, you're used to shoving canisters upon canisters of shit up there, aren't you >_>
[9:51:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: N-no.
[9:51:50 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT YOU ARE.
[9:51:54 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: YOU LITTLE WHORE.
[9:52:41 PM] Maddie: DONT YOU DARE PIN THIS ON ME. IT'S HARD TO FEEL ANYTHING WHEN YOU HAVE TINY DEMONS COMING FROM THERE ON A REGULAR BASIS.
[9:53:42 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LOVE, BOCCHAN
[9:53:45 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: THE LOVE
[9:53:47 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: THE LOVE,
[9:53:49 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: WHERE IS THE LOVE?
[9:55:02 PM] Maddie: THE LOVE DIED WHEN YOU STOPPED LOOKING ME IN THE EYE WHEN WE MAKE LOVE *moe tears*
[9:55:38 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH BOCCHAN
[9:55:40 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I'LL LOOK AT YOU AGAIN
[9:56:33 PM] Maddie: TT___TT WHY DONT YOU KISS ME WHEN WE DO IT?!
[9:57:11 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH A PILLOW EVERYTIME I TRY
[9:57:19 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: BUT
[9:57:22 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: IF YOU WANT
[9:57:29 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I WILL AGAIN
[9:58:05 PM] Maddie: OH SEBASTIAN~ *CHEESY SAXIPHONE*
[9:59:10 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: OH CIEL~
[9:59:15 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: I MEAN BOCCHAN!~
[9:59:35 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *PINK SHOJO BUBBLES ER'YWHERE*
[10:00:21 PM] Maddie: *bats eyelashes* COME PUT YOUR BIG DEMON MEAT INTO MY PORTAL TO HELL~
[10:01:01 PM] USOTSUKILMAO: *rips clothes off* YES MY LORD~!
[10:01:43 PM] Maddie: *APPROPRIATE CENSORS, AKA, SMALL BLACK BARS ON THE TIPS OF DICKS*
~*I'll spare you the derpy sex scene of much derp.*~ xD