You guys...
There's this place in the Burlington mall, about an hour from my house...It's called Teavana. I had never heard of it before and I have never been more pissed off at a tiny, little hole-in-the-wall shop than I am at this one. :| Okay, let me walk you through it. Oh, and by the way, here's their website if you have something to say to these people. I certainly did because these faggots...These faggots...teavana.com :|
So, I'm walking through the mall, and I'm headed toward Macy's because I wanna go get a jacket, since my old one is a piece of crap. On my way, I spot a tiny shop jutting out of the corner of one wall. It's got a big open window adorned with all kinds of gorgeous Asian-inspired tea sets. So, I'm like 'hey, I love all those tea sets! I'll bet they sell tea in there!' So I go in, and they have little tea-machines from which you can get free samples. They had some blueberry shit and then some green tea with a picture of an Asian woman on it and whatever. Then, they had another tea-machine that gave out samples of this strawberry-lemon-flavored tea and I was like 'I gotta get me some of that :|'. I go up to the girl behind the counter. Now, she's wearing these thick-rimmed hipster glasses and this tight plaid shirt; her hair's in a messy bun because she works so hard selling tea to people all day. I go 'Hey, gimme some of that strawberry-lemon tea'. So she brings out this gigantic, pink metal cylinder with the thin, Helvetica label. Then she grabs another green one, and opens them both up, going 'How much do you want?' First of all, I go '...I only wanted the strawberry-lemon one' and then she goes in her nasally, know-it-all drone 'Well, um, you can't get that particular mixture unless you also have the Jasmine green tea'. ...Okay. 'Get me 2 cups of both.' She just looks at me and goes 'Umm...We generally sell them in quantities of 20-30 cups each. We also suggest that you buy a custom tin (for an extra $7)' She pulls out this hat box-sized mother fucker with this ridiculous Asian pattern on it. 'If you don't buy the tin,' she says, 'the tea won't stay fresh for more than 5 days.' Honestly, the way she said it, it was like she was shoving this thing in my face, going 'BUY THE TIIIIN FAGGOOOT!' The thing was huge. I'm not gonna drink that much tea. So, for the next 3 minutes, this bitch is not getting that I want a little bit of tea and she is continuously trying to get me to buy a fucking rucksack full of the shit. Every time I say 'No, I only want two cups,' she looks at me like 'O_o'. Three minutes. Three fucking minutes! In the time it takes to listen to an Coldplay track, this hipster bitch begrudgingly pours two cups of strawberry-lemon tea and two cups of this mandatory Jasmine shit into little baggies. She rings me up and goes 'That'll be $24.95'
...
If I had given into her crazy, 20-30-cups mantra, I would have spent over $75. On fucking TEA. This is why I hate my generation. You take a good, old, simple thing and turn it into something 'cool' and 'complicated' and 'you don't understand'. Uh, yes I do fucking understand. I understand that you fags try to screw people into buying overpriced shit not because the product is worth what people pay, but because how much they spent on it is like a fucking status symbol. I left that shit hole saying, quite loudly 'No way I'm coming back here.' You guys can go suck a dick and then wash the fucking taste down with your faggy, overpriced tea. Jesus Christ.
So, I'm walking through the mall, and I'm headed toward Macy's because I wanna go get a jacket, since my old one is a piece of crap. On my way, I spot a tiny shop jutting out of the corner of one wall. It's got a big open window adorned with all kinds of gorgeous Asian-inspired tea sets. So, I'm like 'hey, I love all those tea sets! I'll bet they sell tea in there!' So I go in, and they have little tea-machines from which you can get free samples. They had some blueberry shit and then some green tea with a picture of an Asian woman on it and whatever. Then, they had another tea-machine that gave out samples of this strawberry-lemon-flavored tea and I was like 'I gotta get me some of that :|'. I go up to the girl behind the counter. Now, she's wearing these thick-rimmed hipster glasses and this tight plaid shirt; her hair's in a messy bun because she works so hard selling tea to people all day. I go 'Hey, gimme some of that strawberry-lemon tea'. So she brings out this gigantic, pink metal cylinder with the thin, Helvetica label. Then she grabs another green one, and opens them both up, going 'How much do you want?' First of all, I go '...I only wanted the strawberry-lemon one' and then she goes in her nasally, know-it-all drone 'Well, um, you can't get that particular mixture unless you also have the Jasmine green tea'. ...Okay. 'Get me 2 cups of both.' She just looks at me and goes 'Umm...We generally sell them in quantities of 20-30 cups each. We also suggest that you buy a custom tin (for an extra $7)' She pulls out this hat box-sized mother fucker with this ridiculous Asian pattern on it. 'If you don't buy the tin,' she says, 'the tea won't stay fresh for more than 5 days.' Honestly, the way she said it, it was like she was shoving this thing in my face, going 'BUY THE TIIIIN FAGGOOOT!' The thing was huge. I'm not gonna drink that much tea. So, for the next 3 minutes, this bitch is not getting that I want a little bit of tea and she is continuously trying to get me to buy a fucking rucksack full of the shit. Every time I say 'No, I only want two cups,' she looks at me like 'O_o'. Three minutes. Three fucking minutes! In the time it takes to listen to an Coldplay track, this hipster bitch begrudgingly pours two cups of strawberry-lemon tea and two cups of this mandatory Jasmine shit into little baggies. She rings me up and goes 'That'll be $24.95'
...
If I had given into her crazy, 20-30-cups mantra, I would have spent over $75. On fucking TEA. This is why I hate my generation. You take a good, old, simple thing and turn it into something 'cool' and 'complicated' and 'you don't understand'. Uh, yes I do fucking understand. I understand that you fags try to screw people into buying overpriced shit not because the product is worth what people pay, but because how much they spent on it is like a fucking status symbol. I left that shit hole saying, quite loudly 'No way I'm coming back here.' You guys can go suck a dick and then wash the fucking taste down with your faggy, overpriced tea. Jesus Christ.