Lighthouse [One-Shot]

[addierabudabu]

Title: Lighthouse (AO3)
Pairing: Yama
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Rating: R
Summary: Sex in exchange for money. He wasn't doing this by choice - he just has to. But one night he got a special customer, and perhaps, he'd find a way out from his messy life through him.
Warning: Cross-dressing
A/N: I swear I didn't know where it came from. I was just thinking about how pretty Ohno looked like as a girl, then somehow it turned into...a story. I knew that I should've finished so many other fics instead, but at the very least let me write this one down to wash my frustration away... Well, I hope you guys will like it. Enjoy!


Ohno slipped his long, fake brown curls behind his ear as he sipped his beer.

The music was blaring on his ears; people were dancing wildly behind him, but Ohno turned his back - his smooth back that was exposed thanks to his blue, backless tight dress - to them. He leisurely sipped his drink, crossing his legs in a girly way and clinck his heels together to pass his time.

He wanted to go home.

But he needed the money - he desperately needed some money, and he hoped that his usual clients like Gackt-san or Matsuoka-san would come and use his 'service'. They were rich bastards, as Ohno loved to address them with, but they were always willing to pay Ohno no matter how ridiculously high price Ohno staked for his body. They'd laugh, usually, and then they'd pull out this thick amplop filled with money that'd make Ohno feel better immediately - he had to work extra hard for it though. Dresses and lingeries and sex toys were not foreign to him anymore - to survive in this kind of world, you have to get used to them, and Ohno did.

He pulled out his smartphone from his purse - another client gave it to him, how thoughtful - and he thought of calling some of his clients. His fingers hovered on their contacts, but in the end he shrugged and locked it before pushing it back to his purse.

He needed the money, yes, but he wasn't up to doing some weird fetishes tonight.

He took another sip, finishing his beer, and then he lit up his cigarettes. He glanced at his watch - it’s near midnight, and he decided if no one requested for him tonight, he'd just go back home immediately.

He took a deep drag; he didn't want anyone to ask for his service.

Sadly, someone did. Ohno was counting the minutes before he'd be able to go home when suddenly, someone tapped his shoulder lightly. Ohno turned around slowly, his wig sweeping against his bare back softly as he tried to take in the man's appearance in front of him. He couldn't see his face well - the club was dark and the man's face was nothing but a silhoutte , even more when he was wearing a cap. Ohno could make out his plump lips though, and he immediately thought of how good it'd feel to kiss him. "Yes?" He asked, his voice naturally turned sweeter.

The man fidgeted - he looked embarrassed, as if ashamed that he ended up here, and Ohno inwardly sigh; he must be new, he thought, inexperienced young man that had never done things like this before.

"Do you want my service?" Ohno asked; if Nino, his friends, was here, he'd probably smacked Ohno's head roughly. Nino was much better than him in talking; he'd probably sweet-talk this man until he gave in. Ohno was never good with conversations - he would never beat around the bush. Maybe that was why Nino have more clients than him, though Ohno didn't mind. Much. "Well?"

"Um." The man stammered. "S-service?"

"Yes." Ohno said impatiently. "Sex. You know what that is, right?"

The man looked offended, he tensed up. "Of course!"

"Good. So I'm asking you if you want to have sex with me."

"Um." The man mumbled; his hand went up to rub the back of his neck, a gesture that Ohno found to be really adorable. "Y-yes. Please." He whispered then. "And if possible - for the whole night."

Ohno tilted his head. "I'm expensive."

The man frowned. "How much?"

Ohno beckoned him over; the man did, and his face became clearer for Ohno - he's handsome, alright, with luscious lips and red cheeks and wide, black eyes. Ohno leaned forward and whispered to his ear, mentioning his price softly, making sure his lips brushed against his ear in a sensual way; he found pleasure in the way the man visibly shivered. "I'm expensive." Ohno repeated as he pulled away with a smirk. "Do you have the money?"

The man nodded in a daze, his eyes locked to Ohno's. "I have money to waste."

"Okay." Ohno said then. "Do you want to do it here? There's a private room here - you have to pay for it, of course."

"Ah, no..." The man looked uncomfortable again; he glanced behind him, as if the thought of having sex in this club was unbearable, scandalious, and then he said, "You know the hotel near this club?"

Ohno's eyes widened slightly. "That's a five star hotel."

The man nodded, ignoring Ohno's amazement. "Meet me there - just say my name in the receptionist, I'll tell them beforehand."

Ohno nodded; his cigarette was half burned, but he couldnt look away, he couldnt. "You do know that I am a man though, right?"

The man stared at him, his eyes clearer than ever, and he smiled slightly, like he knew a secret that Ohno didn’t know. "I know."

Ohno smiled unsurely, and he offered his hand. “Satoshi.” He said, not bothering on telling him the girl name Nino had chosen for him - Satoko and Satoshi were almost the same after all.

The man took his hand, grasping it softly, and then he said in a whisper, “I’m Sakurai.”

Ohno was stunned; he knew a Sakurai. But before he could ask, the man already let go, and he disappeared among the crowd.

Sakurai, Ohno repeated the name slowly in his mind. He knew a Sakurai. Long time ago, when he was nothing but a silly teenager, he had his first boyfriend. Sakurai Sho. But then again, it was years ago, and he couldn’t remember his face well - the bastard left him to study aboard for years without maintaining the communication after all. So it’d be totally absurd if he suddenly came here and requesting his service.

Nah. Maybe another Sakurai. The Sakurai in his mind wasn’t that handsome anyway - maybe.

Ohno turned around in his seat, dabbed his cigarette off on the ashtray, and he looked around until he spotted the bartender. “Aiba-chan~” He called out teasingly.  The bartender quickly turned around; he was all smiley as he jogged towards Ohno, right in time as Ohno pulled out the money from his purse and hand it over to him. Aiba took them gratefully, folding it neatly and putting them into his breast pocket, before grinning like a cat getting cream. “So, who’s the guy for tonight?”

“Someone new.” Ohno shrugged. “Why?”

“He looked nice.”

“He could be a beast in bed, who knows.”

Aiba’s eyebrows furrowed - he never liked any of Ohno’s clients. Every time someone hit on him, Aiba would have this kind of look like he wanted to claw on them, only to find out that he got no claws - Aiba was all fur and paws, something like a soft bunny, or kitten. He could glare as much as he liked, but he’d always be harmless. Always. Still, it was nice to have someone trying to show that he cared for Ohno, though he couldn’t do much. “He looked nice.” Aiba insisted once more; this was one of his specialty, he was always so positive. “He didn’t look at you like he was going to eat you up.”

“Oh, really? Then what does he look like?”

Aiba smiled so wide his eyes almost disappeared. “He looked like he wanted to protect you.”

I’ll grow up and protect you, Satoshi-kun.

Ohno shook his head. “Nonsense.” He said as he slipped down the seat carefully; he pulled down his dress, though it still showed too much skin no matter how hard he tried, and then he snatched his purse. “Well, I’m off.”

“Take care.” Aiba said softly. “And I hope this will be the last.”

Ohno laughed. “It won’t.”

He hurried off to get his coat - his furry, too expensive for his own good coat - and in less than ten minutes he was already on the road, walking silently towards the hotel the man has mentioned before. Thankfully the road was still alive - Ohno hated walking alone, because then who’d know what people might do to him; he has been sexually harassed too many times, he didn’t want to give it for free anymore. While walking, Ohno lit up another cigarette; he let it hanging on his red lips, and he started dozing off as he waited for the traffic light to turn green.

What if I turn around and escape?

He wanted that; he wanted to turn around and escape his life for so many times already. But. Ha. Who was he kidding? He got a lot of stuff going on, he couldn’t possibly abandon his current life, no matter how sick and rotten he has already gotten.

The light turned green, and he crossed over to the hotel as he carelessly threw his cigarette away.

The hotel was beautiful; when he walked in, there was this big chandelier hanging in the lobby along with a very big vase full of fresh flower in the middle of it. The floor was perfectly polished Ohno could probably fix his makeup while looking at them, and he was glad that he actually looked fine - his coat fitted the hotel perfectly, and he looked like he belonged here, like he was someone important as he sashayed to the receptionist. The man glanced at him once, did another glance with widened eyes, and Ohno gave him his sweetest smile. “Excuse me.” He said softly.

“Yes, miss? How can I help you?” The man asked eagerly, and Ohno nearly cringed - god damn it, he was a man, okay.

“I’m looking for Sakurai-sama.” He said; he slipped his curls behind his ear again, but this time it was more to tease the poor man on the receptionist - probably he hadn’t gotten any for months, judging by how flustered he was at the moment. “Can you please tell me where is he staying at?”

“Ah, Sakurai-sama. Y-yes, he already informed us that someone will be looking for him.” The man ducked his head down, skimming through his notes, and then he looked up with a nervous smile. “He’s staying at room 657, miss.”

“Thank you.” Ohno flashed him a smile, and he started walking away. As a bonus, he swayed a bit, and he heard a sharp intake of gasp from behind him.

Ha. Men are fools, him included.

Ohno took the lift, and he fixed his makeup a bit while he was at it - reapplying his lipstick and putting on perfume before he left the lift. He wandered around the halls, eyes staring at the numbers on the doors carefully so he wouldn’t miss it, and he finally found the room. He pressed the bell softly, listening to the ringing, and then after a while, a voice answered. “Yes?”

“Satoko’s here~” He said in a high-pitched voice, almost mocking.

If the man was bothered, he didn’t let it show. “Come on in, it wasn’t locked.”

Ohno has figured as much; he opened the door slightly, enough for him to slip in, and then he closed it behind him and locked it.  The man was nowhere to be seen, so Ohno silently took off his heels and hung his coat and then walked in, his bare feet dipped under the soft carpet, and he nearly sighed at how good it made him feel - he wanted to roll around in this carpet so bad, he hoped the man would want to do it in the carpet. “Sakurai-sama?” He called out as he went to the living room - fuckin rich man, look at this fuckin suite and that fuckin basket of fruit in the coffee table and -

“Satoshi-kun.”

Ohno froze. He turned around quickly, and there, standing not too far for him, was the man from before.

Cap off.

Ohno stared openly at him; before, he couldn’t recall his face at all - maybe it was the light, or the cap, or his deep voice, or maybe because he has changed a lot that Ohno could barely remember him at all. But now, he could see him clearly. That clear, brown eyes. That wide forehead. That sloping shoulders. That fuckin, plump lips.

“Oh my god.” He choked - Ohno wished someone would just kill him off.

“Satoshi-kun.” He - Sakurai fuckin’ Sho - mumbled. “Long time no see.”

Long time no see my ass, Ohno screamed inwardly. He felt awful. Humiliated. Without saying anything, he rushed to the door - he couldn’t believe it. If Sho knew that it was him, why would he request for him then? Why playing along and having him reveal the fact that he was whoring away? Ohno felt his tears welling up, and he just wanted to leave; Sho could have his coat and his heels, Ohno didn’t have time to put them on anyway. He just wanted to leave.

“Satoshi-kun, wait!” Sho grabbed on his arm, and Ohno hated him more for it, for growing up into such a strong and manly man - what with those muscles?  “Please, wait. I need to talk to you!”

“Oh, really?” Ohno spat. “I thought you wanted to have sex with me.”

Sho paled, but his grip on Ohno’s arm didn’t loosen. “I don’t - I mean… I heard from Jun, our friends-“

“Heard what?” Ohno asked while inwardly cursing Jun, his high school friend that he still kept on contact with even until now - Jun knew about him doing this, and he was so angry at Ohno he stopped talking to him for weeks, but Ohno didn’t thought that he’d eventually tell Sho about his condition. That bastard.

“That you’re doing this.” Sho whispered, his eyes staring at Ohno, up and down, like he was sizing him up, making Ohno felt more humiliated than he already was. “That you’re… uhm…”

“Having sex for money? Being a prostitute? Cross-dressing like a fuckin’ slut I am?”

“God, no.” Sho shook his head with a pained look, like it hurt him to hear Ohno saying that. Well surprise surprise, it hurt Ohno more to actually admit that. “Satoshi-kun, please don’t say something like that.”

“I’m just saying the truth.”

“It’s not the truth.” Sho insisted; he pulled Ohno along with him, urging him gently to get inside, but Ohno wouldn’t budge. “Satoshi-kun...” He breathed out. “Why are you doing this?”

“You think you can just got back into my life and -“

“Tell me.” Sho’s grip on his arm tightened, and it was starting to get hurt, but Ohno didn’t want to voice it out, he didn’t want to appear so weak. “Satoshi-kun, please. I want to help you.”

“Help me?” Ohno nearly laughed - no one could help him, and it wasn’t like he wanted to be saved anyway. Sho didn’t budge though. He was staring at Ohno deeply, as if being doing that, Ohno’d spill the truth. As if by staring at him pleadingly like that, Ohno could go ahead and say, So yeah my mom is dying because of cancer and we need a lot of money for her medicines and treatment and we already sell our home, car, everything and yet my mother is still sick and we got into this huge debt we can’t pay off and I can’t think of anything but to sell my body because hey, it’s easy money, you know?

Pathetic.

“I just feel like it.” Ohno answered then after a while. “I just…want it.”

“You want this?” Sho asked sharply, his nails digging into Ohno’s skin, and this time Ohno finally whimpered. “You want to have sex with strangers and getting paid for it?”

God, he wanted to slap Sho so bad.

“Yeah.” Ohno replied, and he wanted to cheer and give himself a pat on his back because his voice came out steady, calm, like it wasn’t coming from him at all because damn it Ohno was actually trembling and he felt like he’d cry anytime soon. “Yeah, because, you know, it’s easy money. And it feels good too.”

Lie. It never felt good. Never.

Sho looked heartbroken; his face contorted into that of great pain, like Ohno had stomped on his heart mercilessly, without caring about how he feels. Slowly, Ohno pulled his hand away, and then he turned towards the door, determined to leave.

“I got back a few months ago.” Sho suddenly speak from behind him, and even though Ohno didn’t want to listen to it, he did. “I knew it was my fault for never contacting you at all, but I finally finished my study and came back to Japan, and I started looking around for you. I managed to contact Jun, and then he told me…that you’re…” He took a deep breath, and he asked, “Is it money you need, Satoshi-kun?”

Ohno didn’t answer.

“I’d pay you double.” He whispered. “Just stay with me for tonight - I don’t want anyone else to touch you.”

“You’re a bit too late for that.” Ohno replied, his voice trembling.

“Please.”

Ohno turned around to look at him; maybe he should take it, since Sho said he’d pay double. He pretended that it was for the money, that it wasn’t because Sho looked like he wanted to cry, that it wasn’t because he wanted Sho to hold him, to take all his pain away, even just for tonight.

He finally moved away from the door.

Sho led him to the bedroom - it was a pity that they wouldn’t do it on the soft, fuzzy carpet, but one look at the king-sized bed, and Ohno decided that the bed would even be better. Sho helped taking off his dress; he unzipped it painfully slow, and then his warm hands were on his back, caressing, and Ohno wondered when did his hands got bigger than his - Sho used to be this small kid, following Ohno around with his high-pitched noise and red cheeks when he confessed that he loved Ohno to bits and wanted to marry him one day.

But look at him now. He was taller than Ohno, bigger, broader, and, as he pulled Ohno flushed against his body to kiss his shoulder lovingly, Ohno realized that he was warm too. A familiar kind of warmth.

“Satoshi-kun.” He whispered to his ears. “Your wig -“

“You want it off?”

“Yes.” He added then, “And your makeup too.”

Ohno excused himself to the bathroom then; he washed his face to wipe all trace of eyeliner and powder and also lipstick as best as he could, then he dabbed his face with the tissue. He also took off his wig, setting it on the sink, and then he wondered if he should take off his dress too, but then decided against it because that’d mean that he have to be walk out naked. So he walked out shyly, feeling so out of place without his makeup and wig and with a dress that was half undone; thankfully Sho took care of the latter. He peeled the dress carefully, as if he was afraid that he’d ruined it, and let it fell to the floor before then he pulled Ohno towards the bed. Sho laid him down, his fingers caressing Ohno’s face as if he was fragile, and then he said, “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Ohno wasn’t sure what did he meant by that, but then Sho’s lips found his, and it didn’t matter anymore.

Sho was going slow though; he was kissing every inch of Ohno’s skin, as if trying to memorize them, as if trying to map him out with his lips. Ohno’s breath hitched whenever Sho’s lips found his skin, kissing, nipping, while his fingers would caress, caress everywhere. He thought that this was a foreplay, that Sho was trying to get him riled up. But Sho wouldn’t let Ohno touch him; he wouldn’t let Ohno do anything. Whenever Ohno tried to reach up to him, Sho’d take his hands instead and started kissing them, each fingers, each palms, each knuckles, and then he’d dipped in to kiss Ohno’s stomach, slowly, and Ohno was left breathless, whimpering, wanting.

It took him a moment, but then he finally understood what Sho was doing.

He was cleaning him.

Ohno looked at Sho, at the way the man was kissing the inside of his thighs so tenderly, and he realized then that Sho was trying to wipe away all traces of other men on his body. He kissed Ohno with care, as if he wanted his skin to be cleansed from all the dirt that has touched him. With each kiss, Ohno felt like he was shedding his skin, changing it into a brand new one, the one that was still pure and clean, the one that was never touched by anything dirty, that knew nothing of sin.

And his tears fell then, because he remembered. He remembered when did all of this started. While Sho was going aboard for his study (and making them officially break up), Ohno has continued to an art college. Everything went well at first - his life was on the right track, but then it all went downhill when he found his mother lying on the kitchen with blood pooling under her. They brought her to the hospital, forced her to undergo so many checkups, and then found out that she was diagnosed with a cancer and that she needed treatment immediately. And of course they’d give her that, of course, but as if fate wanted to play around with their family, the company in which his father worked at was closed down, and then they have no money. They had savings, of course, but it wasn’t a lot, and they knew they need more, more more. So his sister started working, and Ohno started taking part-time too, and his father tried to find out if his mother’s health insurance would cover for it. They would, but not all were covered - they still needed to pay a lot. So his father sold his car, and when his mother’s condition didn’t get any better, they decided to move Ohno’s mother into a better hospital and they sell their house and move into a tiny, worn-down flat near her hospital. Their money ran out fast though, between all the medicines and chemotherapy and the surgeries and looking for second opinions for other doctors, so his father worked at a construction site, his sister took a job in the factory and also in a supermarket and she even babysit some kids in the neighborhood if she could. His father had insisted that Ohno still had to finish his study, but being in an art college cost too much, and Ohno finally quit, and his father could only cry when he did.  He worked a lot too, changing jobs and taking as many as he could, but it still wasn’t enough. It was like, no matter how much he earned, he’d lost it in an instant. His father started borrowing money then, because they need, no, they must keep Ohno’s mother alive.

In the end, they got into a huge debt. Of course.

Ohno was desperate when he met Nino - he met the guy at the bar he worked at. Ohno was mere cleaning service at that time, and Nino took pity on him (the guy said so) so he took him out for a meal, and when Ohno told him his story, Nino said he could make easy money. “You just have to sell.”

“Sell what?” He asked then, curious.

Nino’s eyes gleamed when he answered. “Your innocence.”

He didn’t accept immediately - he went home with his mind swirling with doubts and fear, but the decision was already made for him. His father got sick too; he was coughing a lot, his cough shaking their tiny flat, and his sister were up all night to rub his father’s back and bringing him water and cheap cough syrup from the pharmacy. Ohno knew that it wasn’t a cold though - his father overworked himself. He was pretty old, for god sake, and he was working at the construction site.

Ohno’s tears welled up; he tried to help, but his sister shook her head. “Sleep.” She told him. “I don’t need you to get sick too.”

So he did. He stayed at the living room, curled up in the sofa, and pretended that he didn’t heard his father’s painful cough and his sister’s silent tears.

The next morning, his neighbors came up to him when he was going to leave for work, and they complained about his father’s coughing and they told him to bring him to a doctor or something because his father was so noisy they couldn’t sleep, and Ohno didn’t know how to tell them that they usually skipped breakfast and lunch, so how did they expected him to bring him to the doctor? So he started weeping then, in front of his neighbors, and they finally left him while saying that he was crybaby, idiot, some other things Ohno didn’t care about, and he went back to his flat. His sister was there, staring tiredly at him - she used to be a pretty girl, but she wasn’t anymore. She looked way too old for her age, she looked like a withered flower, and Ohno felt like he didn’t know her anymore. “It’ll be okay.” His sister whispered, though it sounded hollow. “Right?”

“It’ll be okay.” Ohno wiped his tears. “Of course it’ll be.”

That night, he told his sister he had extra shift, but actually, he borrowed Nino’s dress and wig and let Nino dolled him up before selling him to one of his clients. “Don’t think.” Nino whispered to him before the stranger took Ohno away. “Just close your eyes and don’t think - it’ll be over soon.”

It did, but Nino failed to tell him about the humiliation, the shame, the disgust, the pain, the sickening feeling.

But whatever. He got his money. He told his family that he got a raise in his job, and with his first money, he took his father to the doctor, bought him all the medicine he needed and forced him to quit his job.

The second time, he used it to pay the debt, little by little.

The third time, he used it to pay some of the bill from the hospital and to bring his mother her favorite flowers, lilies.

The fourth time, he bought new dresses, new heels, new wigs, and put it all at Nino’s place.

The fifth time, he gave it to his sister. He told her it was from selling his drawing, that his friend provided him with the paints, and that it was selling well so his sister could have some of his money. “Go to the salon or a spa. Buy some new nice clothes.” He told her. She cried, but she went anyway, and she was glowing for the rest of the month, looking much more like her sister.  “Thank God for your talent.” She said then, and she was beaming at him, and his father did too, and he hugged him as he said, “I’m so proud of you. I’m sure your mother will be too.”

And Ohno cried, but nobody ever knew why.

But he kept doing it anyway. He has to, because even though their conditions get a little bit better with his money, sometimes it still wasn’t enough to pay off for everything. So he closed his eyes, and he didn’t think.

But now, he couldn’t do that anymore. His eyes were opened, staring at the ceiling, and he was thinking about a lot of things, and he couldn’t stop his tears. He was ashamed; he felt so dirty, so sick. He recalled all the time he has to do all those dirty things just so he could get more money. He recalled the time when he felt like he was going to vomit, seeing his sister wearing clothes with money earned from prostituting, watching his father eat his favorite sushi with money earned from calling someone else as ‘Master’ and wearing this shameful lingerie and flirted and teased and begged and moaned. Like a slut. Like a… like everything worst in the world. How could he? How could he? What if his family found out? How could he do this?

“Satoshi-kun.” Sho whispered, and Ohno finally looked at him; their faces were so close, and Ohno could see the concern in Sho’s eyes, the pain, the love. “Satoshi-kun.”

“Sho-chan.” He sobbed then - his hands reached out to circle around Sho, and he cried on his shoulder. “Sho-chan.”

Sho didn’t touch him anymore; he held him close, lips brushing against his forehead tenderly again and again over the night, whispering sweet nothing to his ears, keeping him safe as Ohno’s wall broke down, tears flowing out with gibberish and curses, angry with the way his life turned out to be.

“It’ll be okay.” Sho said, but it didn’t sound hollow, like his sister’s. It sounded strong. It sounded promising. It sounded like everything would really be okay, somehow. “It’ll be okay, Satoshi-kun.”

Ohno didn’t know how it’d be okay, but he nodded, because he needed something to believe, and Sho’s words were like a lighthouse in the middle of the storm; it was warm, sure, and most of all, it made him believe that he could find a way out as long as Sho was there.

***
When he was awake, Sho was already up.

The man was staring at him, hand stroking Ohno’s back softly as he smiled a bit. “Good morning.” He breathed out.

“Morning.” Ohno replied hoarsely - god, his eyes felt so heavy, and he knew it must’ve been swollen from all the crying last night. “What time it is?”

“9 AM.”

“Oh god.” Ohno mumbled. “I have a job to do.”

“Which is?”

“Morning shift at the stupid convenience store.” Ohno said, but he had no intention to move, not when Sho was so warm against him. “I have to go to work.”

Sho said nothing, he continued stroking Ohno’s back softly, his eyes losing it focus on Ohno, and then he mumbled, “About your payment…”

Ohno felt a sticky lump forming on his throat - so was that it? Did Sho really think that after what happened last night, he’d want his money still? “I don’t need them.” Ohno said curtly as he swatted Sho’s hand away. “Keep your money. I don’t need them.”

“I still have to pay.” Sho insisted, and Ohno felt his tears rushing to come out yet again as he rolled away from Sho, moving to the edge of the bed to get out of this place as soon as he could. “Satoshi -“

“Keep your damned money.” Ohno said harshly as he looked around for his dress - ah, there it was, folded neatly on the desk. “You stupid, fuckin’ rich bastard -“

“I already paid though.”

Ohno stopped on his track; he turned to stare at Sho, and the man was smiling gently now. “What?”

“I already paid.”

“Where to -“

“To the hospital, of course.” Sho said carefully. “And I also gave your sister the money to pay off your debts.”

It took Ohno a moment to understand everything, and when he did, he lunged towards Sho, taking him by surprise as Ohno straddled him and wrapped his long fingers around Sho’s thick neck. “You take your money back - who gave you permission to do all that -“

“Satoshi -“

“I don’t need them - shit, what are you even -“

“Satoshi, listen -“

“Nononono, you listen to me!” Ohno wailed. “I don’t want - I just, I can’t -“

And then he bawled. Like a baby. Like he didn’t cry enough last night. He pulled his hands away from Sho’s neck to cover his face with it, sobbing uncontrollably like a lunatic on top of Sho. “How could you.” He accused angrily from behind his hands.

“I knew from the start.” Sho whispered then. “When I said that Jun told me, he told me everything. About your condition, about your family, about why you’re doing this…” He held Ohno’s hands, but he didn’t force Ohno to pull his hands away. His hands just settled there, like an anchor. “And I just knew that I had to help you out.”

“I can’t give you anything.” Ohno sobbed shamefully. “I can’t. I have nothing.”

“I don’t want anything from you.” Sho said. “Nothing.”

“Because I have nothing.”

“No, because I just love you so much.” This time, Sho finally pried Ohno’s hands away, and Ohno stared at him, with teary eyes and running nose and reddened face - he must’ve looked so ugly right now. “I’m sorry.” Sho said as he pulled Ohno flushed against his body. “I’m sorry for leaving you back then. But even then, I still am in love with you.”

Ohno thought how his life would’ve been different if Sho had stayed rather than studying abroad. They’d probably stay as a couple, and Sho’d help him out from the start, and Ohno wouldn’t have to go through all that pain.

But then he leaned forward, resting his face against Sho’s neck, and he shook his head. “Doesn’t matter anymore.” He said. “You’re here now.”

“And I’ll stay.” Sho promised him. “I’ll stay this time, okay? I won’t leave anymore. I promise.”

“You have to. At least until I pay you back.”

“I don’t need the money -“

Ohno shut him up with a kiss.

“This’d be my payback.” He whispered against Sho’s lips. “Okay?”

Sho’s eyes gleamed beautifully, and he smiled. “Okay.”

Ohno closed his eyes, and he rested his forehead against Sho’s, and he didn’t think anymore.

Finally, he was out of the storm.