A Place for Us [Chapter 14]
Title: A Place for Us
Pairing: Yama, Ninoai (side-pairing)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter
Summary: They were childhood friends, and after 6 years, they finally met again. Sho thought that this time, Ohno's life was finally on the right track, but he was completely wrong. This time, he was determined to protect him; this time, he was determined to never let him go anymore.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot
A/N: Happy belated Yama day! *throws confetti* Yeah, I've planned to posted it on 25th of July, but well... I went out a lot this week and then I also have a homework to do so it got delayed... Putting it aside, we're one step away from the last chapter! I did the calculate right this time! Yay me! XD Well, please enjoy and comments will be loved! Happy yama day!
The day when Ohno was supposed to leave Sho’s warm house to go back to Tokyo, Sho’s mother has insisted on throwing another party to send them away. Ohno was about to say no - one party like last night was enough to make his eyes as puffy as marshmallow in the morning, and he didn’t want to shed anymore tears, period. But he realized that he didn’t get any say to it - Sho’s mother started bringing up about how Ohno was too thin for boys his age and she grilled Sho by accusing her son that he didn’t feed Ohno properly; Ohno learned then that Sho has told his mother everything, but at the moment his focus was on how he should save Sho from his mother’s grip, and to do so, he finally agreed on having a barbeque party.
And the Sakurai family gets to work. Ohno could see that they all loved barbeque - that went without saying, really. Sho’s father, who was usually so calm and timid, was bringing out the grill to the backyard energetically with the help of Shu and Sho. Mai, who was usually so busy with her gadget, was set to help her mother preparing the meats and vegetables in the kitchen. This time, Ohno was allowed to help, and as he cut the onion neatly, he couldn’t help but think that he was already a part of them, somehow.
Ah, his eyes were teary again.
Mai brought the finely cut meat and vegetables to the backyard, and that left Ohno and Sho’s mother, who was currently making some fries to go with the meat. They worked in silence, albeit not an awkward one, but then Sho’s mother finally spoke up. “Sho has told us about everything.”
That was to be expected; although Sho was mature, he has this habit on doing something that someone has forbid him of. When Ohno told him to not telling his parents, he already knew that Sho’d ended up telling his parents - not that Ohno minded much now, seeing how they still welcome him warmly even after knowing everything. “My life is a mess.” Ohno said as he watched the fries being drowned in the hot oil, making a good sizzling noise that was filling the kitchen. “It’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it? I left with my mom in hope that everything would be better, but it didn’t.” Realizing that his words could ruin their mood, Ohno quickly added. “But it’s alright now. I mean, Sho has helped me, and I don’t think I’ll have to experience it ever again.”
“I’m so sorry for what happened.” Sho’s mother said, but for now, it only sounded like something that she was obliged to say, and Ohno couldn’t reply to it but by a timid nod. “If I was to be honest, I kinda blame myself too.” She said as she stirred the fries. “6 years ago, Sho asked if you can live with us, and I said no, because it feels like the right thing to do. But now I wondered if it was really the right thing to do, or I just said it out of whim.”
Ohno turned to stare at her, at the sadness in her eyes, and he said, “But you didn’t know that it would happen. And so did I. So, what happened to me is not anyone’s fault.” He reached out to pat her back shyly. “It’s not your fault, really.”
Sho’s mother stared at him with a small smile, and Ohno didn’t retreated when she pulled him into a hug. He inhaled the soft, powder-ish scent that was emitting from Sho’s mother as he hugged back, and he slightly wondered how long it has been since he hugged his own mother - he couldn’t even remember how his mother smelled like, or if her hug was as warm as Sho’s mother hug. It was almost like he was thirsty for it though - for this kind of hug where he could felt love that was different than Sho’s but almost as addicting. He didn’t realized when he started clinging to Sho’s mother, nor when she started humming a song as he patted Ohno’s back affectionately. He just knew that it was very comfortable, and that he wanted to be spoiled like this a lot.
But on contrary to that, he ended up saying, “I want to talk to my mother.”
The humming stop, and so did the patting on his back. Sho’s mother was quiet for a while, as if she was choosing on the right words to say. “She’s a mother.” She finally said. “Maybe it’ll take time, but she’ll understand. Because you, my dear, are her precious son; don’t ever think that you’re not. She might not show it, or maybe she doesn’t look like she loves you, but trust me. She’ll never forget how it feels to hold you in her chest for the first time, along with the love that came with it.”
Ohno closed his eyes; her words have given him so much courage, assuring him that everything would actually go well. He squeezed her one more time before he pulled away with a wide smile; Sho’s mother mimicked his smile, though it quickly changed into a panicked one as she saw the condition their fries were in. “Oh dear…” She sighed at the completely black fries. “We need to make it again.”
“Let me help.” Ohno offered happily. They ended up making the fries from the scratch again; cutting and frying all over again while chatting quietly. Sho came not so long after that, chanting ‘beer, beer, beer’ in a weird tune as he made his way to the kitchen. “Hey.” He greeted Ohno.
“Hey.” Ohno said shyly; yesterday still felt like a dream to him. He couldn’t believe that Sho confessed, and he couldn’t believe that he accepted him either. Though they didn’t talk about it anymore, but logically, Sho was his boyfriend right now, right? Given a title like that, Ohno suddenly saw Sho in a completely different light, and the word ‘boyfriend’ was enough to make him feel light-headed. “Uhm, you need the plate, right, Sakurai-san?”
“Yes. The big plate is over there, on the top shelf.” Ohno turned to get the plate; it wasn’t really high, but he still needed to tip-toed a bit to reach out to it. Sho was suddenly beside him though, and he took the plate on Ohno’s place instead. “Which one, mom?” Sho asked loudly, completely oblivious to the blush that was spreading on Ohno’s face from having him so close like this.
“The blue one.” Sho’s mother answered distractedly. Sho let out an incoherent mumble as he took out the blue plate; he gave it to Ohno then, but when their eyes met, Sho was suddenly grinning from ear to ear. “Why the red face?”
“Shut up.” Ohno grumbled as he snatched the plate away from Sho. Sho chuckled at his childish antics and he went to the fridge to take out some beer while Ohno walked briskly to Sho’s mother to help her placing the fries in the plate. He couldn’t help but glancing at the older man though; Sho was nonchalantly pulling out a pack of beer from inside the fridge, and he frowned. “Is drinking beer in the afternoon allowed?”
Sho shrugged. “Dad asked for it.”
“Don’t drink them too much.” Ohno reminded him. “We’re going home in the evening after all.”
“Yes, my love.” Sho jokingly saluted him, and Ohno was half-grinning before he remembered that they weren’t alone - he wasn’t sure how much Sho had told his mother about them, and so he turned around to stare at Sho’s mother, mortified on finding that she was staring back at them so openly like that. “Uhm…”
Sho’s mother shook her head quietly, and for a split second Ohno thought that she was disappointed in them; Ohno was so ready to hug her legs, asking for forgiveness or just… anything, really. But what came out from Sho’s mother lips were: “I hope you guys used protection when you have sex.”
Ohno could felt the blood rushing to his face when the words registered on his brain, and Sho himself shrieked from behind him. “Mom! We did not have sex!”
“Yet.” Sho’s mother wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk. “But really, use protection. Who’s bottom?”
“MOM!” Sho let out another shriek while Ohno could only ducked his head in absolute embarrassment. Sho’s mother laughed cheerfully as she passed Ohno a plate full of fries, telling him to go bring it to the backyard while she’d clean up the kitchen a bit. Ohno’d love to help her instead, but he was still feeling too embarrassed to face her and any escape was gladly welcomed, so he and Sho briskly walked together to the backyard, face as red as the tomato that he had cut before. Ohno had hoped that the thick smell of grilled meat accompanied with the gentle breeze of early summer would eventually get rid of that indecent thought from his head. But Sho’s mother had some effect on him indeed, because even though he was laughing along with everyone else as Shu tripped and spilling all the content of his plate to the freshly cut grass, Ohno still wondered if they really was going to have sex.
As in, the real sex. Not the kind when someone forced it on you.
And he was almost sure that Sho was thinking the same thing as him; sometimes Sho was too easy to read, just like an open book. Ohno knew that Sho was undoubtedly thinking about it because he wouldn’t meet his eyes at least once, not even when Ohno was asking for more meat and Sho hastily moved all the meat in the grill for Ohno, receiving an ear-deafening scream from Shu, ‘God damn it, brother! It’s my meat!’ (Ohno shared half of his meat for Shu though, because he really didn’t need that much meat). That showed how much distracted he was, but in a way, it comforted Ohno; it comforted him to know that someone would think about him at such extent that he couldn’t even gather his thought long enough to put more meat in the grill.
In the end, Sho eventually moved to sit beside him under the tree; they sat side by side in silence, eyes staring into rest of the lively Sakurai family before Sho finally said, “Don’t worry about it.”
“About what?” The reply came almost automatically.
“About sex.” Sho mumbled as his fingers fiddled with the grass, pulling it off one by one a bit forcefully. “We can, you know, take it slow.”
Ohno remembered the kiss that they shared the other day, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it slow. But then again, he wasn’t even sure if he was ready to accept someone in that way, so the most he could was nodding with a small smile; he was grateful to have a boyfriend that was so understanding like Sho, really. “Thank you, Sho. And… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Sho grinned at him as he bumped Ohno’s shoulder playfully. “We’re gonna be late though.”
Ohno checked his watch and he let out a sigh. It was 3 pm already, and they’ve planned on going home at this exact hour; Ohno didn’t have any schedule for Monday, but surely Sho had some work, and if they didn’t set off now, they wouldn’t make it in time to Tokyo. “What should we do?”
Sho shrugged as he leaned against the tree. “Well. I’ll be late anyway so I might as well take a day off.” He then turned to look at Ohno, a smile playing on his lips as his hand reached out to ruffle his hair. “And beside, you still want to stay here a bit more, don’t you?”
Ohno let out a soft sigh as he let Sho messing up his hair. Maybe it was true that he could read Sho like an open book, but it was almost the same with him too - Sho could definitely read what’s on his mind, and for once, Ohno didn’t mind at all. “Thank you so much Sho-chan...”
Click!
He nearly jumped at the unsuspecting sound and as he looked up, Mai was grinning from ear to ear with a SLR camera on her hands. “You lovebirds.” She teased as she checked the picture. “I’m so going to print out this one.”
“Mai, give it to me!” Sho jumped to his feet and began chasing her sister, who started running away with a scream as Sho charged full speed towards him. “Give it to me!”
“No, you pervert! Stay away from me!”
“I’m no pervert!”
“You are - I found your porn magazines years ago!”
“You little -“
Ohno pulled his legs towards his chest and hugged it as the quarrel between Sho and her sister continued, only to end when Sho’s mother stepped in by snatching the camera away - though it didn’t seems like she was deleting the picture, not that Ohno minded anyway. If anything, he was smiling. Maybe that picture would actually be printed out, and maybe then they’d put it in the living room, along with the older pictures. And Ohno’s picture with Sho would probably blend in so well that people would also accept him as a part of this family. His body trembled with happiness at such thought.
He’d look forward for it.
They were finally ready to go home at 7 pm. After lots of kisses and hugs and promises that they’d come back here for Christmas and New Year and maybe more often than that, Ohno was finally allowed to put his luggage back into the car. Sho was hugging his mother once more while Ohno waited beside the car, and he finally opened the door, ready to climb in when Sho has walked towards the car.
“Wait, Satoshi-kun.” Ohno looked up, and Sho’s mother approached him with a worried look that it made Ohno wondered what could possibly go wrong. “I was thinking that I shouldn’t probably tell you this, but…” Sho’s mother was fidgety, and Ohno was really worried now. “It’s about your father.”
“My father?” The word seemed so foreign, that for a moment Ohno could only think of his stepfather. But a moment later he realized that Sho’s mother must’ve been referring to his biological father, and reluctantly, Ohno asked. “What about him?”
“A few months ago he came looking for you; sadly, we didn’t know about your whereabouts, so we couldn’t give him any information. I think he still live on your old house though, so why not giving him a quick visit?”
Ohno thought about it; he half expected himself to say no, but he eventually nodded. “I will.” He said. “Thanks for telling me, Sakurai-san.”
Sho’s mother smiled widely; Ohno climbed into the car, and then Sho started it, slowly driving away from the house that has been providing them warmth for two days. Ohno watched the house until it finally disappeared from his sight. He let out a soft sigh; it felt weird to leave the house when he already felt that he has been living there for forever, but of course it needed to be done. He still has some things to take care of before he could return there.
And at the moment, what he needed to do was seeing his real father.
Sho knew without him having to tell him; he took them to Ohno’s house, stopping his car exactly in front of the gate before he finally spoke, “You sure about this?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t beat me up anymore.” Ohno mumbled as he gazed at his old house. The garden was not taken care of and the grass was growing as much as they liked, but he could clearly tell that someone did live in this house - the lights from inside the house was enough indication. “I’m just going to ring the bell three times, and if he didn’t showed up, then that’s it.”
“I’ll go with you.” Ohno didn’t stopped Sho from climbing out of the car with him. He moved towards the gate quietly; he hesitated a bit, but eventually his finger pressed the bell, letting out a melody that sounded rather annoying. One. He waited for a minute before pressing it again.
Two.
He shared a glance with Sho, and after letting out a deep breath, he pressed again.
Three.
The door didn’t budge.
Ohno wasn’t sure if he should be happy or not; he wanted to see his father, sure, because it has been such a long time and Ohno was actually missing him. But a part of him was afraid on how his father would react - he couldn’t handle any rejection at the moment. Sighing, he finally turned to Sho and he was about to ask him to leave this place already, but then the door finally creaked open.
Ohno turned around, and there, peeking from behind the door, was his father.
They stared at each other for a long while; Ohno watched his father slowly moving from behind the door and approaching him with a dazed look in his face. “Satoshi?” He croaked out.
“Yes.” Ohno mumbled; he wasn’t sure on what to say, really. “Yes, it’s me.”
“Oh.” His father stopped just behind the gate; he didn’t look like he has any intention to open it for him though, not that Ohno wanted him to invite him inside either. “You’ve become so big.”
Actually, Ohno didn’t. He stayed his usual short self - if anything, it was his hair that was different. He didn’t know what to say towards his father though, because clearly, his father has shrunk. He was slim now, and his back was a bit hunched; his black hair has turned white, and he looked tired and older than he actually was. Maybe this was what prison did to you, and again, Ohno was glad he didn’t send his stepfather to a prison - Satomi couldn’t deal with this. “How’s your family?” His father suddenly asked then.
Ohno blinked - in the back of his mind, he was already thinking of lying. He should just said the standard words like ‘we’re all fine’ or ‘we’re good’ or if he was being daring, he could settled with ‘it’s none of your business.’ But he thought that he shouldn’t lie - his father deserved the truth. “We’re all a mess, really.” Ohno said. “My stepfather is a madman and mom is just as self-centered as ever. The only thing that keeps me sane is my new sister and Sho-chan.”
His father glanced briefly over Ohno’s shoulder to stare at Sho, before he calmly turned to stare at Ohno. “Is that so?”
“Aren’t you going to say something else?” Ohno asked - he was suddenly a bit frustrated with his father’s lack of respond.
“I’d like to ask for your forgiveness.” His father quietly started. “But after hearing that, I don’t think I have any right to ask for your forgiveness anymore.”
Well, you don’t. You don’t have any right to ask for forgiveness, because frankly, I do think that you have your share of fault. If only you didn’t beat me up. If only you weren’t being imprisoned. I’d stay with you. I’d stay with you, and you might beat me up, but no one was ever going to rape me because I know that you’ll still protect me.
“You didn’t even have to ask.” Ohno said after a while without any intention of explaining what he actually meant. His father didn’t ask for it either, and Ohno knew then that it was over - their conversation was. “I’ll go back to Tokyo now.”
“Yes. Take care.”
“You too. Call someone up to clean the garden. And please eat more nutritional foods. Stop drinking. Stop smoking.”
“I will.”
“Sakurai’s family has my number, so if you need something from me, go ask them.”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Ohno turned around and he climbed into the car, slamming the door behind him as he did; he rolled the window down though, because it would be rude not to do so. He could see Sho bowing politely to his father, but what his father said next shocked him.
“Please take care of my son like you always did, Sakurai-kun.” His father said with shaky voice as he bowed deeply. “Please.”
Sho was as stunned as Ohno, but the older man was quick to reply him with an “I will” before he bowed down to him deeply too. Sho walked briskly towards the car then, and once he got inside, he wasted no time on driving away. Ohno didn’t bother waving towards his father, but he stared at him, just like how his father did. They shared something just by that stare, something that couldn’t be explained with words, and Ohno couldn’t stop staring even after Sho finally took a turn, and his house, along with his father, disappeared from his sight.
And he didn’t know since when, but his eyes were wet with tears, and soon enough, he was sobbing into his hands.
“We’ll go visit him too on Christmas and New Year.” Sho said softly. “Or maybe even more often than that.”
Ohno nodded; his chest was so heavy that he couldn’t even utter a single words. Again, he couldn’t stop thinking that everything could’ve ended up differently if his father hasn’t been imprisoned, because Ohno’d definitely stayed with him. He loved him with all his might; he remembered their fishing trips, their jokes… He knew that it wasn’t entirely his father’s fault, but still, he couldn’t help but thinking that everything would’ve been better if he could stay with his father instead.
But at the very least, he knew that his father - despite how he has wronged him - still thought of him as his son, and that was enough for Ohno. To know that he has one parent that acknowledged him was more than enough, and maybe that was why he couldn’t stop crying. He hated being such a crybaby though, and he thought that maybe, Sho’d have gotten sick with how often he cried.
But his lover gently took his hand on his instead, squeezing it and letting his warmth seeping into Ohno’s cold one.
They didn’t exchange any words, but right now, that simple gesture he did worth more than any kind of words.
***
They decided to spend the night at the Inn.
Since Sho had decided to just skip work tomorrow, he was taking it easy; he had called his boss, telling him that he couldn’t come tomorrow, and then when they’ve spent quite a long time in the road and the clock has hit 9 pm, he exited the highway and ride around until he found a decent, traditional Inn for them to stay. The attendants welcomed them warmly despite the fact that they’ve came out of sudden; they even promoted the open bath they have. “The bath is still open - it’s not big, but the scenery is pretty nice. Maybe you two can relax.” One of them said cheerfully as she led them to their room.
Ohno liked bath, but right now, he didn’t feel like getting any. One glance at Sho and he knew that the older man was thinking the same, and so Ohno said, “Maybe in the morning.”
The attendants nodded; they reached their room and the attendants helped them spreading their futon before leaving. Ohno placed his bag on the corner of the room, and then he lay down on the soft futon with a sigh. Sho placed his bag down too, but rather than following Ohno, he instead took the blue yukata that they’ve prepared for them. “Why don’t we change to this?” Sho said, but even when Ohno hasn’t said anything, he started taking off his clothes.
Whoa there. Ohno decided to just bury his face in the pillow as he listened to the ruffled sound of Sho taking off his clothes. His mind was actually full with what had happened this evening with his father, but now that he fully realized that he was alone with Sho, what Sho’s mother had said from before suddenly invaded his mind.
But it’s not like we’re going to do it! Sho just probably wanted to sleep! Taking a deep breath, Ohno turned around just in time when Sho threw his yukata to his face. “Go change your clothes too.” Sho told him as he held back his laughter upon the scowl that has settled on Ohno’s face. “Or do you want me to help you change?”
As he said that, Sho dropped to his knees and crawled towards Ohno; he had purposefully tied his yukata loosely so Ohno got a very, very, good view on his toned chest. This, however, only succeeded on making blood rushing to Ohno’s face, and he threw a pillow as an attempt to stop Sho’s advance. “No, thank you. I’ll change by myself.” He mumbled as he turned around. “Your sister is right - you’re a pervert.”
Sho gave an obligatory laugh at that - and Ohno gave him an obligatory scoff as he slowly took off his shirt. He folded it neatly and set it aside, and then he stood to take off his jeans; he kicked it off, and then he bent down to take the yukata, tying it loosely either because, well, they were going to sleep after all, right? He then sat back down and he began folding his jeans when he heard Sho approaching him - before he could responded, Sho had placed a gentle kiss on his nape, sending shivers running throughout his body. “Sho-chan?”
Sho answered with a gentle hum; he settled himself on Ohno’s back, hands circling around his waist as he continued the feathery kisses from Ohno’s nape to his shoulder; kissing every inch of skin that was exposed. Before long, his hand reached up to caress Ohno’s chest, touching his skin greedily and leaving Ohno nearly breathless just by that. “Sho-chan?”
The hand traveled up until it rested on his chin; Sho tilted his head so Ohno would face him, something that he was too embarrassed to do at the moment because Sho was staring at him deeply. His eyes were swirling with so much emotion that threatened on trapping Ohno inside them; Sho finally looked down to Ohno’s lips though, and he finally kissed him.
And again, this kiss was different.
It wasn’t as sweet as the kiss from yesterday; if anything, his kiss this time was demanding. Ohno could tell that Sho wanted something more with the way he moved his lips against Ohno firmly, sucking and nibbling and then slipping his tongue inside Ohno’s mouth to taste him.
This could lead into something more, and Ohno thought he was scared of it.
But if anything, he only ached into the feeling more; he was as eager as Sho, kissing him back as if his life depends on it, taking in his warm breath as if he would die without it.
And then Sho stopped abruptly.
Ohno couldn’t help the disappointed whine from escaping his wet lips as Sho turned away; he was about to release his hold on Ohno’s waist too, but despite how light-headed he felt at the moment, Ohno still managed to reach up and hold his hand in place. “Why?” He breathed out. “Why did you stop?”
“I’m the one who said ‘let’s take it easy’.” Sho mumbled as he averted his eyes from Ohno. “And yet when I’m alone with you, I couldn’t stop thinking that I wanted to touch you. I really am a pervert.”
Well, that was flattering, in a way. His stepfather had said something along the line too, if he was to be honest. At that time, it had sounded so disgusting, coming from his stepfather’s mouth. But hearing it from Sho only made some kind of a warm feeling spreading pleasantly on Ohno’s chest; to think that the same words could sounded so different with the right person made him happy. “I don’t mind.” He whispered then as he turned around to fully face Sho. “Let’s… let’s continue…?”
Sho’s eyes flickered at him with desire, but he looked down. “Let’s don’t.” He mumbled.
“You don’t want me?”
“Quite the opposite, actually.” Sho said. “I want you so bad it hurts. But, I don’t want to rush it. I mean, you’ve been -“
“Sssh…” Ohno placed his finger on Sho’s full lips, caressing it gently to make Sho finally looked at him. “If it’s Sho-chan, it’s okay.” He said, his voice shaking with want. “Because you’ll never hurt me.” He leaned in, lips inch away from Sho. “So, take me.”
Sho let out something like a soft gasp, before he finally kissed back as he brought Ohno’s body down with him to lay on the futon.
And just like that, Ohno gave in. He gave in under Sho’s passionate yet loving kisses. They touched each other greedily, trying to map out the curves of each other body; everywhere Sho touched him left a fire burning in their wake. Ohno found breathing to be such a hard task as the seconds ticked by. It was all too much; he was overwhelmed by the passion and love oozing from Sho’s body, but he was surprised either with how he reacted to his every touch, to his every kiss - it was almost as if he has never been touched before, almost as if this was his first time, and Ohno was as innocent as he could ever be, as loving and trusting as he could ever be.
Sho nipped his earlobe as he prepared him, and then, the word that Ohno has been waiting for finally slipped from Sho’s lips. “I love you, Satoshi.”
“I love you too.” Ohno whispered, hoping that the words were enough to channel what he really felt. For him, ‘love’ was not enough to explain what he felt towards Sho at the moment; it was something more than that, something that was too complex to be explained into something as simple as ‘love’, something that he could spent years and years trying to explain it but failing anyway. But right now, it seems love would do; at the moment, he couldn’t find any word other than love, and so be it. He did, however, convinced that he have the rest of his life to try and make Sho understood that it wasn’t love, that it was something much more bigger than that.
But for now, it’d do.
And then they melted into each other, as simple as that.
Chapter 13 | Chapter 15
Pairing: Yama, Ninoai (side-pairing)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance
Rating: NC-17 for this chapter
Summary: They were childhood friends, and after 6 years, they finally met again. Sho thought that this time, Ohno's life was finally on the right track, but he was completely wrong. This time, he was determined to protect him; this time, he was determined to never let him go anymore.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot
A/N: Happy belated Yama day! *throws confetti* Yeah, I've planned to posted it on 25th of July, but well... I went out a lot this week and then I also have a homework to do so it got delayed... Putting it aside, we're one step away from the last chapter! I did the calculate right this time! Yay me! XD Well, please enjoy and comments will be loved! Happy yama day!
The day when Ohno was supposed to leave Sho’s warm house to go back to Tokyo, Sho’s mother has insisted on throwing another party to send them away. Ohno was about to say no - one party like last night was enough to make his eyes as puffy as marshmallow in the morning, and he didn’t want to shed anymore tears, period. But he realized that he didn’t get any say to it - Sho’s mother started bringing up about how Ohno was too thin for boys his age and she grilled Sho by accusing her son that he didn’t feed Ohno properly; Ohno learned then that Sho has told his mother everything, but at the moment his focus was on how he should save Sho from his mother’s grip, and to do so, he finally agreed on having a barbeque party.
And the Sakurai family gets to work. Ohno could see that they all loved barbeque - that went without saying, really. Sho’s father, who was usually so calm and timid, was bringing out the grill to the backyard energetically with the help of Shu and Sho. Mai, who was usually so busy with her gadget, was set to help her mother preparing the meats and vegetables in the kitchen. This time, Ohno was allowed to help, and as he cut the onion neatly, he couldn’t help but think that he was already a part of them, somehow.
Ah, his eyes were teary again.
Mai brought the finely cut meat and vegetables to the backyard, and that left Ohno and Sho’s mother, who was currently making some fries to go with the meat. They worked in silence, albeit not an awkward one, but then Sho’s mother finally spoke up. “Sho has told us about everything.”
That was to be expected; although Sho was mature, he has this habit on doing something that someone has forbid him of. When Ohno told him to not telling his parents, he already knew that Sho’d ended up telling his parents - not that Ohno minded much now, seeing how they still welcome him warmly even after knowing everything. “My life is a mess.” Ohno said as he watched the fries being drowned in the hot oil, making a good sizzling noise that was filling the kitchen. “It’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it? I left with my mom in hope that everything would be better, but it didn’t.” Realizing that his words could ruin their mood, Ohno quickly added. “But it’s alright now. I mean, Sho has helped me, and I don’t think I’ll have to experience it ever again.”
“I’m so sorry for what happened.” Sho’s mother said, but for now, it only sounded like something that she was obliged to say, and Ohno couldn’t reply to it but by a timid nod. “If I was to be honest, I kinda blame myself too.” She said as she stirred the fries. “6 years ago, Sho asked if you can live with us, and I said no, because it feels like the right thing to do. But now I wondered if it was really the right thing to do, or I just said it out of whim.”
Ohno turned to stare at her, at the sadness in her eyes, and he said, “But you didn’t know that it would happen. And so did I. So, what happened to me is not anyone’s fault.” He reached out to pat her back shyly. “It’s not your fault, really.”
Sho’s mother stared at him with a small smile, and Ohno didn’t retreated when she pulled him into a hug. He inhaled the soft, powder-ish scent that was emitting from Sho’s mother as he hugged back, and he slightly wondered how long it has been since he hugged his own mother - he couldn’t even remember how his mother smelled like, or if her hug was as warm as Sho’s mother hug. It was almost like he was thirsty for it though - for this kind of hug where he could felt love that was different than Sho’s but almost as addicting. He didn’t realized when he started clinging to Sho’s mother, nor when she started humming a song as he patted Ohno’s back affectionately. He just knew that it was very comfortable, and that he wanted to be spoiled like this a lot.
But on contrary to that, he ended up saying, “I want to talk to my mother.”
The humming stop, and so did the patting on his back. Sho’s mother was quiet for a while, as if she was choosing on the right words to say. “She’s a mother.” She finally said. “Maybe it’ll take time, but she’ll understand. Because you, my dear, are her precious son; don’t ever think that you’re not. She might not show it, or maybe she doesn’t look like she loves you, but trust me. She’ll never forget how it feels to hold you in her chest for the first time, along with the love that came with it.”
Ohno closed his eyes; her words have given him so much courage, assuring him that everything would actually go well. He squeezed her one more time before he pulled away with a wide smile; Sho’s mother mimicked his smile, though it quickly changed into a panicked one as she saw the condition their fries were in. “Oh dear…” She sighed at the completely black fries. “We need to make it again.”
“Let me help.” Ohno offered happily. They ended up making the fries from the scratch again; cutting and frying all over again while chatting quietly. Sho came not so long after that, chanting ‘beer, beer, beer’ in a weird tune as he made his way to the kitchen. “Hey.” He greeted Ohno.
“Hey.” Ohno said shyly; yesterday still felt like a dream to him. He couldn’t believe that Sho confessed, and he couldn’t believe that he accepted him either. Though they didn’t talk about it anymore, but logically, Sho was his boyfriend right now, right? Given a title like that, Ohno suddenly saw Sho in a completely different light, and the word ‘boyfriend’ was enough to make him feel light-headed. “Uhm, you need the plate, right, Sakurai-san?”
“Yes. The big plate is over there, on the top shelf.” Ohno turned to get the plate; it wasn’t really high, but he still needed to tip-toed a bit to reach out to it. Sho was suddenly beside him though, and he took the plate on Ohno’s place instead. “Which one, mom?” Sho asked loudly, completely oblivious to the blush that was spreading on Ohno’s face from having him so close like this.
“The blue one.” Sho’s mother answered distractedly. Sho let out an incoherent mumble as he took out the blue plate; he gave it to Ohno then, but when their eyes met, Sho was suddenly grinning from ear to ear. “Why the red face?”
“Shut up.” Ohno grumbled as he snatched the plate away from Sho. Sho chuckled at his childish antics and he went to the fridge to take out some beer while Ohno walked briskly to Sho’s mother to help her placing the fries in the plate. He couldn’t help but glancing at the older man though; Sho was nonchalantly pulling out a pack of beer from inside the fridge, and he frowned. “Is drinking beer in the afternoon allowed?”
Sho shrugged. “Dad asked for it.”
“Don’t drink them too much.” Ohno reminded him. “We’re going home in the evening after all.”
“Yes, my love.” Sho jokingly saluted him, and Ohno was half-grinning before he remembered that they weren’t alone - he wasn’t sure how much Sho had told his mother about them, and so he turned around to stare at Sho’s mother, mortified on finding that she was staring back at them so openly like that. “Uhm…”
Sho’s mother shook her head quietly, and for a split second Ohno thought that she was disappointed in them; Ohno was so ready to hug her legs, asking for forgiveness or just… anything, really. But what came out from Sho’s mother lips were: “I hope you guys used protection when you have sex.”
Ohno could felt the blood rushing to his face when the words registered on his brain, and Sho himself shrieked from behind him. “Mom! We did not have sex!”
“Yet.” Sho’s mother wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk. “But really, use protection. Who’s bottom?”
“MOM!” Sho let out another shriek while Ohno could only ducked his head in absolute embarrassment. Sho’s mother laughed cheerfully as she passed Ohno a plate full of fries, telling him to go bring it to the backyard while she’d clean up the kitchen a bit. Ohno’d love to help her instead, but he was still feeling too embarrassed to face her and any escape was gladly welcomed, so he and Sho briskly walked together to the backyard, face as red as the tomato that he had cut before. Ohno had hoped that the thick smell of grilled meat accompanied with the gentle breeze of early summer would eventually get rid of that indecent thought from his head. But Sho’s mother had some effect on him indeed, because even though he was laughing along with everyone else as Shu tripped and spilling all the content of his plate to the freshly cut grass, Ohno still wondered if they really was going to have sex.
As in, the real sex. Not the kind when someone forced it on you.
And he was almost sure that Sho was thinking the same thing as him; sometimes Sho was too easy to read, just like an open book. Ohno knew that Sho was undoubtedly thinking about it because he wouldn’t meet his eyes at least once, not even when Ohno was asking for more meat and Sho hastily moved all the meat in the grill for Ohno, receiving an ear-deafening scream from Shu, ‘God damn it, brother! It’s my meat!’ (Ohno shared half of his meat for Shu though, because he really didn’t need that much meat). That showed how much distracted he was, but in a way, it comforted Ohno; it comforted him to know that someone would think about him at such extent that he couldn’t even gather his thought long enough to put more meat in the grill.
In the end, Sho eventually moved to sit beside him under the tree; they sat side by side in silence, eyes staring into rest of the lively Sakurai family before Sho finally said, “Don’t worry about it.”
“About what?” The reply came almost automatically.
“About sex.” Sho mumbled as his fingers fiddled with the grass, pulling it off one by one a bit forcefully. “We can, you know, take it slow.”
Ohno remembered the kiss that they shared the other day, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take it slow. But then again, he wasn’t even sure if he was ready to accept someone in that way, so the most he could was nodding with a small smile; he was grateful to have a boyfriend that was so understanding like Sho, really. “Thank you, Sho. And… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Sho grinned at him as he bumped Ohno’s shoulder playfully. “We’re gonna be late though.”
Ohno checked his watch and he let out a sigh. It was 3 pm already, and they’ve planned on going home at this exact hour; Ohno didn’t have any schedule for Monday, but surely Sho had some work, and if they didn’t set off now, they wouldn’t make it in time to Tokyo. “What should we do?”
Sho shrugged as he leaned against the tree. “Well. I’ll be late anyway so I might as well take a day off.” He then turned to look at Ohno, a smile playing on his lips as his hand reached out to ruffle his hair. “And beside, you still want to stay here a bit more, don’t you?”
Ohno let out a soft sigh as he let Sho messing up his hair. Maybe it was true that he could read Sho like an open book, but it was almost the same with him too - Sho could definitely read what’s on his mind, and for once, Ohno didn’t mind at all. “Thank you so much Sho-chan...”
Click!
He nearly jumped at the unsuspecting sound and as he looked up, Mai was grinning from ear to ear with a SLR camera on her hands. “You lovebirds.” She teased as she checked the picture. “I’m so going to print out this one.”
“Mai, give it to me!” Sho jumped to his feet and began chasing her sister, who started running away with a scream as Sho charged full speed towards him. “Give it to me!”
“No, you pervert! Stay away from me!”
“I’m no pervert!”
“You are - I found your porn magazines years ago!”
“You little -“
Ohno pulled his legs towards his chest and hugged it as the quarrel between Sho and her sister continued, only to end when Sho’s mother stepped in by snatching the camera away - though it didn’t seems like she was deleting the picture, not that Ohno minded anyway. If anything, he was smiling. Maybe that picture would actually be printed out, and maybe then they’d put it in the living room, along with the older pictures. And Ohno’s picture with Sho would probably blend in so well that people would also accept him as a part of this family. His body trembled with happiness at such thought.
He’d look forward for it.
They were finally ready to go home at 7 pm. After lots of kisses and hugs and promises that they’d come back here for Christmas and New Year and maybe more often than that, Ohno was finally allowed to put his luggage back into the car. Sho was hugging his mother once more while Ohno waited beside the car, and he finally opened the door, ready to climb in when Sho has walked towards the car.
“Wait, Satoshi-kun.” Ohno looked up, and Sho’s mother approached him with a worried look that it made Ohno wondered what could possibly go wrong. “I was thinking that I shouldn’t probably tell you this, but…” Sho’s mother was fidgety, and Ohno was really worried now. “It’s about your father.”
“My father?” The word seemed so foreign, that for a moment Ohno could only think of his stepfather. But a moment later he realized that Sho’s mother must’ve been referring to his biological father, and reluctantly, Ohno asked. “What about him?”
“A few months ago he came looking for you; sadly, we didn’t know about your whereabouts, so we couldn’t give him any information. I think he still live on your old house though, so why not giving him a quick visit?”
Ohno thought about it; he half expected himself to say no, but he eventually nodded. “I will.” He said. “Thanks for telling me, Sakurai-san.”
Sho’s mother smiled widely; Ohno climbed into the car, and then Sho started it, slowly driving away from the house that has been providing them warmth for two days. Ohno watched the house until it finally disappeared from his sight. He let out a soft sigh; it felt weird to leave the house when he already felt that he has been living there for forever, but of course it needed to be done. He still has some things to take care of before he could return there.
And at the moment, what he needed to do was seeing his real father.
Sho knew without him having to tell him; he took them to Ohno’s house, stopping his car exactly in front of the gate before he finally spoke, “You sure about this?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t beat me up anymore.” Ohno mumbled as he gazed at his old house. The garden was not taken care of and the grass was growing as much as they liked, but he could clearly tell that someone did live in this house - the lights from inside the house was enough indication. “I’m just going to ring the bell three times, and if he didn’t showed up, then that’s it.”
“I’ll go with you.” Ohno didn’t stopped Sho from climbing out of the car with him. He moved towards the gate quietly; he hesitated a bit, but eventually his finger pressed the bell, letting out a melody that sounded rather annoying. One. He waited for a minute before pressing it again.
Two.
He shared a glance with Sho, and after letting out a deep breath, he pressed again.
Three.
The door didn’t budge.
Ohno wasn’t sure if he should be happy or not; he wanted to see his father, sure, because it has been such a long time and Ohno was actually missing him. But a part of him was afraid on how his father would react - he couldn’t handle any rejection at the moment. Sighing, he finally turned to Sho and he was about to ask him to leave this place already, but then the door finally creaked open.
Ohno turned around, and there, peeking from behind the door, was his father.
They stared at each other for a long while; Ohno watched his father slowly moving from behind the door and approaching him with a dazed look in his face. “Satoshi?” He croaked out.
“Yes.” Ohno mumbled; he wasn’t sure on what to say, really. “Yes, it’s me.”
“Oh.” His father stopped just behind the gate; he didn’t look like he has any intention to open it for him though, not that Ohno wanted him to invite him inside either. “You’ve become so big.”
Actually, Ohno didn’t. He stayed his usual short self - if anything, it was his hair that was different. He didn’t know what to say towards his father though, because clearly, his father has shrunk. He was slim now, and his back was a bit hunched; his black hair has turned white, and he looked tired and older than he actually was. Maybe this was what prison did to you, and again, Ohno was glad he didn’t send his stepfather to a prison - Satomi couldn’t deal with this. “How’s your family?” His father suddenly asked then.
Ohno blinked - in the back of his mind, he was already thinking of lying. He should just said the standard words like ‘we’re all fine’ or ‘we’re good’ or if he was being daring, he could settled with ‘it’s none of your business.’ But he thought that he shouldn’t lie - his father deserved the truth. “We’re all a mess, really.” Ohno said. “My stepfather is a madman and mom is just as self-centered as ever. The only thing that keeps me sane is my new sister and Sho-chan.”
His father glanced briefly over Ohno’s shoulder to stare at Sho, before he calmly turned to stare at Ohno. “Is that so?”
“Aren’t you going to say something else?” Ohno asked - he was suddenly a bit frustrated with his father’s lack of respond.
“I’d like to ask for your forgiveness.” His father quietly started. “But after hearing that, I don’t think I have any right to ask for your forgiveness anymore.”
Well, you don’t. You don’t have any right to ask for forgiveness, because frankly, I do think that you have your share of fault. If only you didn’t beat me up. If only you weren’t being imprisoned. I’d stay with you. I’d stay with you, and you might beat me up, but no one was ever going to rape me because I know that you’ll still protect me.
“You didn’t even have to ask.” Ohno said after a while without any intention of explaining what he actually meant. His father didn’t ask for it either, and Ohno knew then that it was over - their conversation was. “I’ll go back to Tokyo now.”
“Yes. Take care.”
“You too. Call someone up to clean the garden. And please eat more nutritional foods. Stop drinking. Stop smoking.”
“I will.”
“Sakurai’s family has my number, so if you need something from me, go ask them.”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Ohno turned around and he climbed into the car, slamming the door behind him as he did; he rolled the window down though, because it would be rude not to do so. He could see Sho bowing politely to his father, but what his father said next shocked him.
“Please take care of my son like you always did, Sakurai-kun.” His father said with shaky voice as he bowed deeply. “Please.”
Sho was as stunned as Ohno, but the older man was quick to reply him with an “I will” before he bowed down to him deeply too. Sho walked briskly towards the car then, and once he got inside, he wasted no time on driving away. Ohno didn’t bother waving towards his father, but he stared at him, just like how his father did. They shared something just by that stare, something that couldn’t be explained with words, and Ohno couldn’t stop staring even after Sho finally took a turn, and his house, along with his father, disappeared from his sight.
And he didn’t know since when, but his eyes were wet with tears, and soon enough, he was sobbing into his hands.
“We’ll go visit him too on Christmas and New Year.” Sho said softly. “Or maybe even more often than that.”
Ohno nodded; his chest was so heavy that he couldn’t even utter a single words. Again, he couldn’t stop thinking that everything could’ve ended up differently if his father hasn’t been imprisoned, because Ohno’d definitely stayed with him. He loved him with all his might; he remembered their fishing trips, their jokes… He knew that it wasn’t entirely his father’s fault, but still, he couldn’t help but thinking that everything would’ve been better if he could stay with his father instead.
But at the very least, he knew that his father - despite how he has wronged him - still thought of him as his son, and that was enough for Ohno. To know that he has one parent that acknowledged him was more than enough, and maybe that was why he couldn’t stop crying. He hated being such a crybaby though, and he thought that maybe, Sho’d have gotten sick with how often he cried.
But his lover gently took his hand on his instead, squeezing it and letting his warmth seeping into Ohno’s cold one.
They didn’t exchange any words, but right now, that simple gesture he did worth more than any kind of words.
***
They decided to spend the night at the Inn.
Since Sho had decided to just skip work tomorrow, he was taking it easy; he had called his boss, telling him that he couldn’t come tomorrow, and then when they’ve spent quite a long time in the road and the clock has hit 9 pm, he exited the highway and ride around until he found a decent, traditional Inn for them to stay. The attendants welcomed them warmly despite the fact that they’ve came out of sudden; they even promoted the open bath they have. “The bath is still open - it’s not big, but the scenery is pretty nice. Maybe you two can relax.” One of them said cheerfully as she led them to their room.
Ohno liked bath, but right now, he didn’t feel like getting any. One glance at Sho and he knew that the older man was thinking the same, and so Ohno said, “Maybe in the morning.”
The attendants nodded; they reached their room and the attendants helped them spreading their futon before leaving. Ohno placed his bag on the corner of the room, and then he lay down on the soft futon with a sigh. Sho placed his bag down too, but rather than following Ohno, he instead took the blue yukata that they’ve prepared for them. “Why don’t we change to this?” Sho said, but even when Ohno hasn’t said anything, he started taking off his clothes.
Whoa there. Ohno decided to just bury his face in the pillow as he listened to the ruffled sound of Sho taking off his clothes. His mind was actually full with what had happened this evening with his father, but now that he fully realized that he was alone with Sho, what Sho’s mother had said from before suddenly invaded his mind.
But it’s not like we’re going to do it! Sho just probably wanted to sleep! Taking a deep breath, Ohno turned around just in time when Sho threw his yukata to his face. “Go change your clothes too.” Sho told him as he held back his laughter upon the scowl that has settled on Ohno’s face. “Or do you want me to help you change?”
As he said that, Sho dropped to his knees and crawled towards Ohno; he had purposefully tied his yukata loosely so Ohno got a very, very, good view on his toned chest. This, however, only succeeded on making blood rushing to Ohno’s face, and he threw a pillow as an attempt to stop Sho’s advance. “No, thank you. I’ll change by myself.” He mumbled as he turned around. “Your sister is right - you’re a pervert.”
Sho gave an obligatory laugh at that - and Ohno gave him an obligatory scoff as he slowly took off his shirt. He folded it neatly and set it aside, and then he stood to take off his jeans; he kicked it off, and then he bent down to take the yukata, tying it loosely either because, well, they were going to sleep after all, right? He then sat back down and he began folding his jeans when he heard Sho approaching him - before he could responded, Sho had placed a gentle kiss on his nape, sending shivers running throughout his body. “Sho-chan?”
Sho answered with a gentle hum; he settled himself on Ohno’s back, hands circling around his waist as he continued the feathery kisses from Ohno’s nape to his shoulder; kissing every inch of skin that was exposed. Before long, his hand reached up to caress Ohno’s chest, touching his skin greedily and leaving Ohno nearly breathless just by that. “Sho-chan?”
The hand traveled up until it rested on his chin; Sho tilted his head so Ohno would face him, something that he was too embarrassed to do at the moment because Sho was staring at him deeply. His eyes were swirling with so much emotion that threatened on trapping Ohno inside them; Sho finally looked down to Ohno’s lips though, and he finally kissed him.
And again, this kiss was different.
It wasn’t as sweet as the kiss from yesterday; if anything, his kiss this time was demanding. Ohno could tell that Sho wanted something more with the way he moved his lips against Ohno firmly, sucking and nibbling and then slipping his tongue inside Ohno’s mouth to taste him.
This could lead into something more, and Ohno thought he was scared of it.
But if anything, he only ached into the feeling more; he was as eager as Sho, kissing him back as if his life depends on it, taking in his warm breath as if he would die without it.
And then Sho stopped abruptly.
Ohno couldn’t help the disappointed whine from escaping his wet lips as Sho turned away; he was about to release his hold on Ohno’s waist too, but despite how light-headed he felt at the moment, Ohno still managed to reach up and hold his hand in place. “Why?” He breathed out. “Why did you stop?”
“I’m the one who said ‘let’s take it easy’.” Sho mumbled as he averted his eyes from Ohno. “And yet when I’m alone with you, I couldn’t stop thinking that I wanted to touch you. I really am a pervert.”
Well, that was flattering, in a way. His stepfather had said something along the line too, if he was to be honest. At that time, it had sounded so disgusting, coming from his stepfather’s mouth. But hearing it from Sho only made some kind of a warm feeling spreading pleasantly on Ohno’s chest; to think that the same words could sounded so different with the right person made him happy. “I don’t mind.” He whispered then as he turned around to fully face Sho. “Let’s… let’s continue…?”
Sho’s eyes flickered at him with desire, but he looked down. “Let’s don’t.” He mumbled.
“You don’t want me?”
“Quite the opposite, actually.” Sho said. “I want you so bad it hurts. But, I don’t want to rush it. I mean, you’ve been -“
“Sssh…” Ohno placed his finger on Sho’s full lips, caressing it gently to make Sho finally looked at him. “If it’s Sho-chan, it’s okay.” He said, his voice shaking with want. “Because you’ll never hurt me.” He leaned in, lips inch away from Sho. “So, take me.”
Sho let out something like a soft gasp, before he finally kissed back as he brought Ohno’s body down with him to lay on the futon.
And just like that, Ohno gave in. He gave in under Sho’s passionate yet loving kisses. They touched each other greedily, trying to map out the curves of each other body; everywhere Sho touched him left a fire burning in their wake. Ohno found breathing to be such a hard task as the seconds ticked by. It was all too much; he was overwhelmed by the passion and love oozing from Sho’s body, but he was surprised either with how he reacted to his every touch, to his every kiss - it was almost as if he has never been touched before, almost as if this was his first time, and Ohno was as innocent as he could ever be, as loving and trusting as he could ever be.
Sho nipped his earlobe as he prepared him, and then, the word that Ohno has been waiting for finally slipped from Sho’s lips. “I love you, Satoshi.”
“I love you too.” Ohno whispered, hoping that the words were enough to channel what he really felt. For him, ‘love’ was not enough to explain what he felt towards Sho at the moment; it was something more than that, something that was too complex to be explained into something as simple as ‘love’, something that he could spent years and years trying to explain it but failing anyway. But right now, it seems love would do; at the moment, he couldn’t find any word other than love, and so be it. He did, however, convinced that he have the rest of his life to try and make Sho understood that it wasn’t love, that it was something much more bigger than that.
But for now, it’d do.
And then they melted into each other, as simple as that.
Chapter 13 | Chapter 15