I'm beginning to hate being in love...
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isnt it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest, it opens your heart and it allows someone to become a part of you and totally mess you up. You build up all these defenses for years so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different than any other asshole, wanders into your life; You give them a piece of you, they don't ask for it. You give them your heart and soul without regrets or fears. They do something like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life and your heart isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages, it gets inside of you, leaves you crying in the darkness. A simple phrase like: maybe we should just be friends, turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts not just in the imagination. It's a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
Too bad I still love him...
I loved you so much before I had my first chance with you.
Then you gave me that chance of a lifetime. It was
only for a short time, such a short time. Then as my
life became filled with happiness and joy, you left
me, without explanation. For days I questioned why,
for many nights I cried. I promised myself I wouldn't
hate you or regret meeting you. But how could I anyway?
You made me want to be a better person...You made me
smile when I thought I couldn't, you turned my life
around...for this reason I know I'll love you forever.