i just don't know anymore

[addictionsenvy]

i'm so sad all the time
i'm like never happy
and i'm always stressed.. the only time i'm not stressed is when there is alcohol o sex involved..and doesnt look like i'll be getting the sex part anytime soon.. so i am like doomed to become an alcoholic
i miss cory so much.. and i know i'm not supposed to write about him in here but.. oh well.. i'm not writing like i was the last time...and just so everyone is clear I HAVE NO CHANCE OF EVER GETTING HIM BACK so ashley wins.. even though she's dumb and wont take him back.. if i had that kid begging to be with me i would jump at the oppurtunity.. but that's not ever going to happen to me so i dont haveto worry about it i guess... WHY CAN'T I GET OVER HIM!?!?!?!? grrr it makes me so angry.. i had no trouble getting over steve.. a little bit with chris till i met cory.. and then.. i am stuck on him.. i cant get him out of my head he's all i ever think about...i try to not talk to him but i can't cause i always miss him... i feel so annoying

and i hate myself..

god i want him back....

the way he feels for ashley is nothing compared to what i feel for him...

life sucks