Black Orchid - flocked feedback requested.
So, I'm working on, among other things, an update for Black Orchid
I'm 1300 words into the update and... it's unfinished so please don't be disappointed it's unfinished,... but erm... let me know if this reads okay please? if you don't mind? Please bear in mind also that it continues from the previous chapter so it starts at a highly charged moment. according to google Uxor is a latin term for spouse, which I have made into Uxorus meaning the same. Anjixo is my angel. Sangre Baxia means something like Life Blood or Blood Heart. Coredamatix would mean something like, my heart. I've lost some of my notes on the terms so i'm really annoyed about that, but anyway. I'm really super trying to put a LOT in this but then i think that's ruining the pacing and blah blah... And yes the Powers are more than just.. an ephemeral idea. *sighs, falls on the ground* Help me Obi Wan Kenobi.
"Fuck!" Taemin's voice is a whisper as his fingertips delicately explore the length and girth of Jinki's erection through the soft fabric between them. He's all but moaning with every breath - every sense seemingly over charged with sexual energy.
Taemin is no virgin. His fascinated touches translate perfectly well to the unbidden image of their bodies twined together, the thought of Jinki pushing slowly and carefully into him. He closes his eyes tightly and sucks in air through his teeth.
"God... you're so fucking...," he mutters, voice tight enough to make the words come out as a squeak.
He then looks up to Jinki's handsome face, taking note that the other man's eyes are not the previous dark warm brown but have gone an odd almost silvery color. Muscles strain along the line of his shoulders and arms to match the tension in his thighs and Taemin can hardly believe that this depth of lust is all for him.
"From the first second I saw you," he says slowly, licking his lips as his fingertips trace the shape of Jinki's cock through his pants, "I thought you were the just as breathtaking as I first called you. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg for your attention, your touch, for anything you would care to give me."
Taemin doesn't dare look up again, his cheeks hot with the flush suffusing his skin. "I didn't care if you hurt me. Tortured me. Anything. I just wanted you that much. You could have done... anything to me that you wanted, that night."
"Coredamatix," Jinki begins softly. Taemin's light caressing touch on his erection, even half shielded by the fabric of his pants, makes him feel as if his flesh is on fire. He can almost feel himself swelling even more, the first drops of moisture dotting his pants. The chair creaks as his hands go white knuckled. His skin aches and burns - yet he doesn't need Taemin to explain that his Mate needs him to respond to his words even more than to his touch.
"You'll have to tell me... when it's too much. You make it very, very difficult for me to think past the scent of you, the look of you, the feel of you." Very carefully, Jinki reaches out his hand and gently pulls Taemin's exploring fingertips away from his anxious body. "I am... not civilized, when I am with you."
Taemin twists his hand, locking his fingers with Jinki's. Yet again, he marvels at the feverish heat of Jinki's skin. There's the light trace of callouses on the wide palm and yet the flesh is smooth.
"Me either," he answers with a sideways bright smile. "Civilized is highly over rated."
Jinki hesitates another moment, for the first time in his long life he's afraid of hurting his partner. He's never felt this way, never felt so close to the kind of rut that even his kind whisper about fearfully. He wills it back, forcing down the primitive instinct as best he can.
Taemin waits a moment, losing himself again in the darkness of Jinki's eyes. He glances down to the straining bulge of Jinki's erection then over to where Jinki's free hand is still locked with a white knuckled grip against the chair. It's clear that Jinki is holding himself back and Taemin abruptly decides that he doesn't want that.
"Maybe you need something to look at?" he suggests with a soft attempt at flirtation, long lashes sliding down over his eyes as he reaches for the hem of his oversized tee shirt. Taemin hasn't got the patience to drag it out; he simply yanks the garment up and over his head then lets it fall to the side.
Taemin's smooth pale skin is unblemished like porcelain or fine marble. He's too slender to be overmuscled but the lightly toned look of chest and abdomen is overwhelmingly attractive to Jinki. He barely even realizes he's moving, all of his attention on Taemin's bare skin. But suddenly their bodies are slamming together against the wall to one side of the bead curtained doorway and Jinki shudders as a sweet fiery rush of friction rewards him.
"I only have so much self-control," Jinki hisses, pressing in hard between Taemin's long legs, kissing lightly at his Mate's jawline as a sop to the raging incandescence he feels inside.
Taemin moans at the feel of Jinki's hands on his shoulders, sliding down under his ass to hitch him up in a more precise match for Jinki's body. His own hands are not idle, slithering over the soft fabric covering Jinki's shoulders and chest then ruthlessly ripping at the buttons wherever he finds them.
"I don't fucking care," Taemin manages roughly, tightening his legs around Jinki's trim hips and scraping light pink lines over the other man's back.
"When I first saw you," Jinki growls between hard biting kisses to Taemin's lips and jaw and neck. "All I could think about was when could I get you alone. When could I just hold you against me. I knew you... I knew... I need you so badly, Taemin."
Taemin can't answer, whining with reaction when their bare chests clash together. He's burying his fingers in Jinki's silky hair, tugging it then stroking softly to soothe the burn.
"You're killing me." Taemin finally complains, grinding against Jinki's sexy hot weight pinning him to the wall with shameless lust. "Less talk... more ... please...," he mutters low, shoving his tongue into the curve of Jinki's ear then dragging hard on the earlobe with his teeth.
Jinki half chuckles at his Mate's demanding tone, at the burning hot touches swarming over his body. He shouldn't expect anything less. His Mate is strong in his own right, in his own way. That thought fills him with warmth of a different kind, giving him a breathing space in the inferno he feels. He drops his head to press his face against the curve of Taemin's neck - not to bite but simply to breathe in the intoxicating scent of this one being he's been waiting for so long.
Without a word, he steps away from the wall, holding Taemin against him carefully with one hand low on his ass while he brushes through the beaded curtain and stalks towards the bed. The covers are already pulled down and he falls with his back to the mattress so that Taemin isn't crushed beneath his weight.
Taemin gasps as they fall and then sprawls himself over Jinki's gorgeous warm strong body, rolling his hips to get more friction against the other man's firm contours. His fingers roam everywhere he can reach, stroking and caressing with an unconsciously possessive touch.
Jinki's shirt is buttonless and loose across his chest and Taemin pulls his head up just to admire the smooth, hairless surface of Jinki's chest and cute little nipples. As he expected, the other man's body is toned not overly muscled but absolutely delicious. Perfect, he thinks to himself with a little shiver of awareness.
Jinki reaches up, pushing the hair out of Taemin's eyes. His mate's beautiful face is flushed, lightly sheened with sweat, the pupils of his dark eyes blown wide. His lips are deep pink and he's panting for breath. He is everything Jinki could ask for and his heart twists with love in that moment.
"I am yours. For you I will live and die and kill and bleed if need be. There is none before you or above you. You are my life, my heart, my blood, now and even unto the Reaches.
Jinki breathes the words softly in the Old Tongue, borrowing them from the formal mating ceremony. As far as he is concerned, Taemin is his Uxorus. As he speaks, he distinctly hears a small chime in his head. This means the Powers have accepted and recorded his words so that for Sangre Baxia the vow is legal and binding and he is suffused with a sudden rush of relief. Let Siwon try to touch his Mate, now.
Taemin hears the incomprehensible but melodic syllables through a haze of emotions and sensations and burning desire that make his head swim.
I'm 1300 words into the update and... it's unfinished so please don't be disappointed it's unfinished,... but erm... let me know if this reads okay please? if you don't mind? Please bear in mind also that it continues from the previous chapter so it starts at a highly charged moment. according to google Uxor is a latin term for spouse, which I have made into Uxorus meaning the same. Anjixo is my angel. Sangre Baxia means something like Life Blood or Blood Heart. Coredamatix would mean something like, my heart. I've lost some of my notes on the terms so i'm really annoyed about that, but anyway. I'm really super trying to put a LOT in this but then i think that's ruining the pacing and blah blah... And yes the Powers are more than just.. an ephemeral idea. *sighs, falls on the ground* Help me Obi Wan Kenobi.
"Fuck!" Taemin's voice is a whisper as his fingertips delicately explore the length and girth of Jinki's erection through the soft fabric between them. He's all but moaning with every breath - every sense seemingly over charged with sexual energy.
Taemin is no virgin. His fascinated touches translate perfectly well to the unbidden image of their bodies twined together, the thought of Jinki pushing slowly and carefully into him. He closes his eyes tightly and sucks in air through his teeth.
"God... you're so fucking...," he mutters, voice tight enough to make the words come out as a squeak.
He then looks up to Jinki's handsome face, taking note that the other man's eyes are not the previous dark warm brown but have gone an odd almost silvery color. Muscles strain along the line of his shoulders and arms to match the tension in his thighs and Taemin can hardly believe that this depth of lust is all for him.
"From the first second I saw you," he says slowly, licking his lips as his fingertips trace the shape of Jinki's cock through his pants, "I thought you were the just as breathtaking as I first called you. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg for your attention, your touch, for anything you would care to give me."
Taemin doesn't dare look up again, his cheeks hot with the flush suffusing his skin. "I didn't care if you hurt me. Tortured me. Anything. I just wanted you that much. You could have done... anything to me that you wanted, that night."
"Coredamatix," Jinki begins softly. Taemin's light caressing touch on his erection, even half shielded by the fabric of his pants, makes him feel as if his flesh is on fire. He can almost feel himself swelling even more, the first drops of moisture dotting his pants. The chair creaks as his hands go white knuckled. His skin aches and burns - yet he doesn't need Taemin to explain that his Mate needs him to respond to his words even more than to his touch.
"You'll have to tell me... when it's too much. You make it very, very difficult for me to think past the scent of you, the look of you, the feel of you." Very carefully, Jinki reaches out his hand and gently pulls Taemin's exploring fingertips away from his anxious body. "I am... not civilized, when I am with you."
Taemin twists his hand, locking his fingers with Jinki's. Yet again, he marvels at the feverish heat of Jinki's skin. There's the light trace of callouses on the wide palm and yet the flesh is smooth.
"Me either," he answers with a sideways bright smile. "Civilized is highly over rated."
Jinki hesitates another moment, for the first time in his long life he's afraid of hurting his partner. He's never felt this way, never felt so close to the kind of rut that even his kind whisper about fearfully. He wills it back, forcing down the primitive instinct as best he can.
Taemin waits a moment, losing himself again in the darkness of Jinki's eyes. He glances down to the straining bulge of Jinki's erection then over to where Jinki's free hand is still locked with a white knuckled grip against the chair. It's clear that Jinki is holding himself back and Taemin abruptly decides that he doesn't want that.
"Maybe you need something to look at?" he suggests with a soft attempt at flirtation, long lashes sliding down over his eyes as he reaches for the hem of his oversized tee shirt. Taemin hasn't got the patience to drag it out; he simply yanks the garment up and over his head then lets it fall to the side.
Taemin's smooth pale skin is unblemished like porcelain or fine marble. He's too slender to be overmuscled but the lightly toned look of chest and abdomen is overwhelmingly attractive to Jinki. He barely even realizes he's moving, all of his attention on Taemin's bare skin. But suddenly their bodies are slamming together against the wall to one side of the bead curtained doorway and Jinki shudders as a sweet fiery rush of friction rewards him.
"I only have so much self-control," Jinki hisses, pressing in hard between Taemin's long legs, kissing lightly at his Mate's jawline as a sop to the raging incandescence he feels inside.
Taemin moans at the feel of Jinki's hands on his shoulders, sliding down under his ass to hitch him up in a more precise match for Jinki's body. His own hands are not idle, slithering over the soft fabric covering Jinki's shoulders and chest then ruthlessly ripping at the buttons wherever he finds them.
"I don't fucking care," Taemin manages roughly, tightening his legs around Jinki's trim hips and scraping light pink lines over the other man's back.
"When I first saw you," Jinki growls between hard biting kisses to Taemin's lips and jaw and neck. "All I could think about was when could I get you alone. When could I just hold you against me. I knew you... I knew... I need you so badly, Taemin."
Taemin can't answer, whining with reaction when their bare chests clash together. He's burying his fingers in Jinki's silky hair, tugging it then stroking softly to soothe the burn.
"You're killing me." Taemin finally complains, grinding against Jinki's sexy hot weight pinning him to the wall with shameless lust. "Less talk... more ... please...," he mutters low, shoving his tongue into the curve of Jinki's ear then dragging hard on the earlobe with his teeth.
Jinki half chuckles at his Mate's demanding tone, at the burning hot touches swarming over his body. He shouldn't expect anything less. His Mate is strong in his own right, in his own way. That thought fills him with warmth of a different kind, giving him a breathing space in the inferno he feels. He drops his head to press his face against the curve of Taemin's neck - not to bite but simply to breathe in the intoxicating scent of this one being he's been waiting for so long.
Without a word, he steps away from the wall, holding Taemin against him carefully with one hand low on his ass while he brushes through the beaded curtain and stalks towards the bed. The covers are already pulled down and he falls with his back to the mattress so that Taemin isn't crushed beneath his weight.
Taemin gasps as they fall and then sprawls himself over Jinki's gorgeous warm strong body, rolling his hips to get more friction against the other man's firm contours. His fingers roam everywhere he can reach, stroking and caressing with an unconsciously possessive touch.
Jinki's shirt is buttonless and loose across his chest and Taemin pulls his head up just to admire the smooth, hairless surface of Jinki's chest and cute little nipples. As he expected, the other man's body is toned not overly muscled but absolutely delicious. Perfect, he thinks to himself with a little shiver of awareness.
Jinki reaches up, pushing the hair out of Taemin's eyes. His mate's beautiful face is flushed, lightly sheened with sweat, the pupils of his dark eyes blown wide. His lips are deep pink and he's panting for breath. He is everything Jinki could ask for and his heart twists with love in that moment.
"I am yours. For you I will live and die and kill and bleed if need be. There is none before you or above you. You are my life, my heart, my blood, now and even unto the Reaches.
Jinki breathes the words softly in the Old Tongue, borrowing them from the formal mating ceremony. As far as he is concerned, Taemin is his Uxorus. As he speaks, he distinctly hears a small chime in his head. This means the Powers have accepted and recorded his words so that for Sangre Baxia the vow is legal and binding and he is suffused with a sudden rush of relief. Let Siwon try to touch his Mate, now.
Taemin hears the incomprehensible but melodic syllables through a haze of emotions and sensations and burning desire that make his head swim.