...will you run away with my heart? or will you hold it close and love me?
so, im losing it. i dont know what's wrong with me, but everything has been making me sad lately. i almost break down and cry out of no where, even when im with rachael. and tonite is snow ball. i almost dont want to go, cuz of what happened last time. i know ken's not here, but i just feel like some thing bad is gonna happen. and i just found out that rachael still talks to him and she's been wearing his braclet a lot. quite frankly, i hate him. and i dont want to be a jerk and make it seem like im trying to run her life, but i wish she would stop talking to him. i just dont know how to tell her that without her getting mad at me, and i doubt she would do it even if i told her to. and i dont understand why she would even want to. hes suh a fucking jerk, i just want to kill him. so, Rachael and i have been together for over five months now, and we're starting to get into little fights again and im afraid we're gonna start arguing big time again. i honestly wonder how we've lasted so long. sumtimes i just want to scream. for some reason, we have a difficulties talking and every time we get a chance to hang out together, just us, sumone seems to ruin it, ususally her dad. i honestly think he hates me. and other ppl, not saying who, are getting on my nerves and i want them to shut up. yeah, iim basically writing all this cuz i havent had a chance to tell anyone. and i know a lot of ppl wont read this, but i need to say sumtin. so, there it is.