[FIC] Through Everything, starring Yunho and Jaejoong.
Title: Through Everything, starring Yunho and Jaejoong
Author: addicted_tvxq
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/Yunho, minor: Donghae/Heechul
Length: One-shot
Rating: PG-13
Summary: How everything started with Yunho and Jaejoong during their trainee days and what happens when two completely different people and opposite personalities collide? But Jaejoong also has a secret, a secret that could possibly ruin everything he has with Yunho, or could it?
A/N: I must warn you all that this is not just an ordinary one shot, it's a very LONG one-shot, with our YUNJAE of course. I do not own any of the fan work or pictures; credit already on them. :)
"Through Everything"
Stepping into S.M. entertainment, he was feeling more nervous than happy. Sure, he passed the auditions out of 1,000 auditioners, but the second hard part was stepping into a whole new world apart from being at home and helping around his family's restaurant.
When he heard that the auditions for SM entertainment was starting again, he decided to go for it. He didn't have any special talent or anything, he figured that the easiest thing for him to do is just sing and let everything fall into pieces there. His parents supported him even though he was unsure of himself and his sisters made him food that would last him for a few weeks, and off, he went, alone and going to a road that either meant making his dreams come true or stubborn action of his own not to cook for the rest of his life at his family's restaurant.
He didn't fit in, he knew it from the start. Everyone was dressing with some fashion trademark, and he was wearing clothes that he wore back home that were plain and didn't have any fancy fashion logos like the others, and the only thing brand new was his sneakers that he worked months for and it was the only thing he was proud of wearing at that moment, till he saw the others with Nikes and Jordans, his shoes looked like trash compared to his.
He knew that they spoke about him behind his back, how they'd whisper and turn their heads when he passed by them. Their presence intimidated him, he didn't want to say something and end up regretting it later.
He was placed in a dorm by himself since all the other trainees already chose their own dorm mates, no one signed up to dorm with him. He had mixed feelings of happiness and sadness, one, he didn't have to worry about trying strike up a conversation with someone else or try to make friends, but the other part was that, he was going to be even lonelier than ever.
That is, till he met him.
-----------
"Yunho-ah~, dorm with me!" His friend, Heechul, whined, throwing his skinny arms around Yunho's waist, trying to tug him to his room.
Yunho shook him off as he picked up his boxes, while Heechul followed him from behind. "Hyung, I already dormed with you last year, don't you think it's time to start off fresh? Besides, there are other trainees besides me, ya know?"
Heechul ignored him and started complaining about their other friend and his-to-be dormmate, Dong Hae and his weird habits, and continued talking about the other trainees that he wasn't too comfortable with. Yunho knew Heechul was friends with everyone despite all the excuses that were coming out of his mouth at that moment.
"See, that's why I think we're perfect dormmates, Yunho!" Heechul said, placing his hands on his hips and blocking his way to his new dorm room. He continued rambling and Yunho's arms were aching, as he gave Heechul a few minutes to talk away until he had just about enough.
"Argh, shut up, Hyung, and open the door!" Yunho exclaimed, his arms were literally going to break if he continued carrying these boxes even longer.
"Oh right!" Heechul opened the door for him and Yunho practically ran into the room, dropping the heavy boxes down and his heavy duffle bag full of his clothes.
"I don't know why you want to move in here, I mean, whoever you're dorming with has absolutely no sense of fashion." Heechul said, looking at his dormmate's side of the room. Heechul went over the line most of the time, there wasn't anything bad on his dorm mate's side, everything was neat and clean on that side and he noticed a H.O.T. poster hanging over the bed. There were a couple of CDs on the desk, couple of books and a notebook.
"Let's go, Yunho, I'll buy you lunch and ..you move back in with me?" Heechul asked, still not letting the subject drop.
"Go on without me, Hyung, I have to unpack my things, hurry, or Dong Hae will come looking for you, could you imagine what he might do?"
Heechul gulped. "On second thought, I'll see you later, okay, Yunho-ah?" Heechul rushed out of his room in a second, leaving him alone in the room. Yunho knew that the only person that Heechul was freaked out by was Dong Hae, who supposedly could see ghosts and communicate with the dead? It was just a rumor that was going around, but Heechul believed it especially when Dong Hae has the habit appearing out of now where like a ghost.
A few hours later, he finally finished unpacking everything and placing them where they belonged. Yunho looked at the time, it was already 8 at night and this whole time, his dorm mate hasn't even stepped foot in the room at all. He didn't feel like answering Heechul's calls and his other friends', he wanted some time alone and wanted to get to know his new room mate, Kim Jaejoong.
He's seen him around the company, but could never find the time to introduce himself. The Jaejoong guy was always by himself, sitting apart from others and was very mysterious. All he heard from the other guys was that he came from province outside of Seoul and had financial problems or something, and somehow he ended up auditioning and knocked everyone dead with his voice.
He walked over to his room mate's side and went over to his room mate's area, and looked at the desk. It had tons of H.O.T cds and some old rock singers CDs, but what stood out from all the other stuff on the desk, was an old, battered notebook. Yunho opened it and each page was filled with Jaejoong's handwriting and scribbles, and even more writing. Yunho realized that they were song lyrics and each page had a different song, and even though he didn't know how the song went, he found himself, singing along.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Before Yunho could respond, the notebook was snatched away from his hands and he found himself staring back at Jaejoong, who was now holding the notebook to his chest and glaring at him with the most coldest expression he's ever seen on his face before, and shit, it gave him chills.
-----
He woke up from his usual spot at the top of the S.M. building roof top, watching the sun go down till he fell asleep. After he finished training, he left to the place that had the most amazing view in the whole city.
He lost track of time when he woke up and immediately, jumped off the roof top, opened a door and ran downstairs. He might as well skip dinner, since the cafeteria was probably packed with all the other trainees. He decided to go to his dorm room instead, and figured that his dorm mate was eating at the cafeteria with the other trainees.
He came up with another song when he woke up and wanted to write it down before he lost the idea, and he didn't want to lose that chance. If he was going to become a singer, he might as well make the effort to create his own music, his own style and his touch. He made a oath to himself that whatever song he sang, he had to put part of himself inside the song and make the song be apart of him.
He made it to the dorm room, only to see that the light was coming from the room. Was someone else in the room? He hesitated to open the door and took a deep breath, and figured that maybe his room mate was nice enough to leave the light on for him as he hanged out with his trainee friends.
He turned the door knob slowly and pushed the door quietly, and it turned out that someone else was in the room as well. It was ...one of them. He recognized that person, he remembered always seeing him surrounded by lots of people and Jaejoong knew that he was popular with just about everyone except for him that is.
Yunho. That was the guy's name, he overheard Yunho's name being called by a couple of the trainees. Jaejoong watched him during practice, he was an incredibly talented dancer and was usually the one who helped choreographed their next dance practice. He was tall, with his usual spiky brown and black hair and was dressed in some expensive athletic wear.
Compared to his skinny, pale and bulky structure, Yunho had nice skin tone, was definitely athletic built and had small muscles from his arms to his legs and for some reason, he was always fixated by Yunho's mole. It was stupid, but he always thought moles were ugly since he had a bunch of them on his face, but when he looked at Yunho's ...he found it..not so ugly at all.
He looked to see that Yunho was by his desk, looking over..his notebook! Shit, he should've hid it under his bed, Yunho was probably shaking with laughter or something, and maybe would steal his notebook and share it with his trainee friends like it was an inside joke.
He was already squeezing his fists in anger, it was bad enough that the other trainees already thought he was weird to begin with and stayed away from him, but something bothered him even more that Yunho was going through his things, his personal things without even asking him.
and the words, just slipped out before he could even stop them.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
He grabbed his notebook away from Yunho and held it tightly to his chest, and glared at him. Angry that he touched something valuable to him without even asking and that Yunho had to find out about his habit before he could even sing the songs he wrote to begin with.
"Ah, I was just looking at your notebook." Yunho said, looking embarrassed and running his hand through his hair. "It was well, interesting, I have to say."
Jaejoong didn't smile, instead looked confused. "Interesting?" He asked, now holding his notebook to his side.
"Yeah." Yunho said nodding, with a smile on his face. "You're a very talented writer, did you write these lyrics by yourself?
Jaejoong almost smiled, he was waiting for Yunho to make a joke about his writing, but he didn't, he just stood staring at him with a smile plastered on his face, geez, it made something in his chest flip.
"I-I did, but it's nothing, anyways." Jaejoong said, moving past him and began organizing his CDs, great, Yunho must think he's some huge H.O.T. fanatic and write songs that will probably never become a single. Boy, Yunho had a lot of stories to share with his friends. "What are you doing here?"
Yunho raised an eyebrow and sat on the corner his bed. "Well, I'm your room mate for this year and that pretty much means, I live here with you for a whole academic year."
Jaejoong nodded and didn't bother to turn around, he might as well ignore him long enough so that he could just leave him alone. It was bad enough that he had to share a room with one of the most popular trainees in SM and by the guy that intimidated him the most out of all of them.
"I'm Jung Yunho and you're Kim Jaejoong, right?"
"Hero." Jaejoong replied out of the blue, he seriously had to tape his mouth.
"Hero?" Yunho asked, staring curiously at Jaejoong that Jaejoong just had to look at him.
He put his notebook in the cabinet, slamming it shut and turned to look at him.
"Yeah, it's a nickname that my family..and friends back at home called me." He said, gazing at Yunho's face and kept wondering when he was going to burst out laughing and leave the room. "I had a lot of sisters and I was the only son, and I used to get picked on and teased in school for having so many sisters, and in order, to stop crying, my mom gave me that nickname and it means strength and courage all in one. Just something..I didn't have when I was younger."
He didn't know why he rambled off like that and why he felt the need to tell him about that part of himself to Yunho. He didn't know why he was still waiting for Yunho to reject him and ignore him like the others have towards him.
"That's cool, I'll remember that, thanks for telling me, Hero." Yunho said, smiling at him again that Jaejoong had to look away. He felt happy, he wanted to smile back too, but was very cautious not too.
Jaejoong nodded and looked down, wondering what else to say. Then a loud noise came from his stomach, ending the small silence between them followed by Yunho's sudden laughter.
Jaejoong knew he was turning red, and was about to run out of the room, when Yunho ruffled his hair and got up from his bed.
"Hey, let's go eat dinner, Hero." Yunho asked, and pat his stomach. "I'm pretty hungry myself, I didn't eat dinner yet since I was too busy unpacking."
"Okay." He replied, surprising the both of them. Yunho reached to ruffle his hair again, but Jaejoong moved before he could. He wasn't sure yet about Yunho, but Yunho didn't look like he minded and reached out to ruffle his hair again and ..for some odd reason, Jaejoong let him.
He looked up and Yunho smiled at him, with his crooked teeth and all, Jaejoong found them perfect.
-------
The more he spend time with Jaejoong, the more he got to know the person behind the good looks and mysterious, cold front. Beside the cold exterior, was a guy with a warm heart, probably out of his friends, Jaejoong's heart was pure and warm that whenever he was around him, he felt comfortable and at ease.
He felt that maybe Jaejoong felt the same way about him as well. He remembered when he invited him to have dinner with him, he thought that Jaejoong was going to reject him and he was going look like an idiot. But to his surprise, Jaejoong agreed to go with him and he smiled so much, his face began to hurt.
Yunho began to open up to Jaejoong about things he never talked about with anyone, not even with Heechul. Like how he got that scar on his face or when he had heated arguments with his father about his goals in life and the kind of person that he wanted to be without being judged harshly for it.
Jaejoong was different and seemed to understand where he came from. Although it may seem to people that Jaejoong was a quiet guy that kept to himself, he was by far to Yunho, the most talkative and loud person in circle of friends, and yes, even louder than Heechul and Leetuek when they were together.
He liked the idea that Jaejoong was hanging out with his friends and was no longer, wandering the buildings of S.M. and disappearing and appearing in thin air. He felt like he wanted to hold onto Jaejoong because something in the back of his mind told him that Jaejoong was going to disappear and it would be too late to get him back.
But, not everyone was enjoying Jaejoong's presence.
"Yunho, I get that you and Jaejoong are friends, but does he always have to come with us whenever we go out to eat?" Heechul complained to Yunho when Jaejoong was in the rest room.
Yunho frowned. "What's wrong with having Jaejoong around? You don't seem to have a problem with Siwon, Hangeng or even Dong Hae eating out with us, so why all of a sudden, you have a problem with Jaejoong around?"
"Look, you're misinterpreting what I'm saying, Yunho." Heechul explained, patting his hand. "I'm just saying that, don't you think, you're spending a lot of time with Jaejoong, lately? I mean, lately, everyone has been seeing you guys together almost everywhere and people are bound to talk, Yunho, if you get what I mean."
Yunho sighed and pulled his hand from underneath Heechul's hand, back then, it was okay, but this time, it just made him uncomfortable. "First of all, I don't care what people have to say about me and Jaejoong, he's my friend, too, Heechul-hyung and I'm not going to suddenly stop hanging out with him because people find it strange or weird."
"So what you're saying is that, Jaejoong's friendship is everything to you, then what about me, Yunho?"
Yunho leaned back and looked him, Heechul and wonder where all this seriousness came from. Heechul was always joking around and now he was being serious. "What, Hyung?"
"What about us? We don't even hang out as much anymore since we had new room mates, and whenever I want to hang out with you, you're either busy or just busy with someone else. "I just think that there's this gap growing between us, Yunho-ah, and I'm not the only who feels that way either, I mean, Kangin, Siwon, Leetuek--"
"Is this what's going on, Hyung?" Yunho said, standing up, already feeling furious. "You guys just start talking behind my back and Jaejoong's back as well like we're complete strangers to you guys, is this what it is?"
People were starting to look at them and Heechul got up, already whispering to him to calm the hell down and sit down. But he couldn't, they were talking bullshit about him and Jaejoong, how was he suppose to calm the hell down and let this go.
"Yunho, sit your ass down, people are staring." Heechul whispered harshly, glaring at him as if to make him sit down.
He felt someone touch his arm and he somewhat relaxed, and turned to find himself staring at Jaejoong's worried face, his black eyes holding down his brown eyes, he suddenly relaxed and reached down, till he found Jaejoong's hand.
"Why won't you sit your own ass down and enjoy your dinner, I'm leaving."
With that, Yunho walked out with Jaejoong and with Heechul, yelling out his name as Heechul's voice faded away.
------
It was already night time and they finally stopped walking. Jaejoong wasn't sure what to say, and with Yunho still holding on his hand, how the hell was he suppose to think straight?
"Jaejoong, if I asked you to do me a favor, would you do it?"
Jaejoong nodded and without another word, Yunho finally let go of his hand, pulled him into his arms and hugged him as tighter than he did when he held onto his hand.
"Yunho, you okay?"
Yunho didn't respond and Jaejoong pat his back gently. "Did..I do something wrong?"
Yunho shook his head and pressed his face against Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong decided not to say anything any further because he felt that when Yunho wanted to talk about whatever happened between him and Heechul, he would, but right now, all Jaejoong wanted to concentrate on was holding Yunho in his arms.
The hard part was holding the secret that Jaejoong kept from Yunho when he first spoke to him because if Yunho found out, he'd never speak or look at him the same way again.
-----
"Yoochun, can I ask you something?"
Yoochun put down his phone and made room for Yunho to sit beside him.
"What's up, Hyung?"
Yunho didn't want to make it sound like it was a big deal to him, but it's been bothering since that incident at the restaurant. What's even more hard for him is that since Jaejoong is his room mate, he can't help but think about the incident over and over again.
"Does it seem like Jaejoong and I..do we spend time, I mean, are we always---"
"Always together?" Yoochun asked and Yunho nodded, like it wasn't a big deal, only that it was. "Well,yeah, you guys are friends, best friends, right?"
"Yeah, best friends." Yunho repeated, but it sounds a bit off to him. "Well, thanks, Yoochun."
"Hyung, wait."
Yunho looked at him as he got up.
"Look whatever is going on, just know that you and Jaejoong-hyung have us, if not with Heechul and the others, we, Junsu, Changmin and I have faith in you guys." Yoochun said, with a smile and gave him a small wave goodbye.
"Thanks, Yoochun." Yunho said, leaning over as he pat his friend's shoulder.
He was glad to have support with his other friends and maybe he just needed time to sort out what was going on in his mind and that crazy thing in his chest that kept flipping whenever he sees Jaejoong.
----
Jaejoong laid on the grass, in the middle of the soccer field, listening to Junsu and Changmin bicker as they played soccer. Most of the time, Junsu and Changmin were always playing in the soccer field when practice was over and Jaejoong found their presences comforting.
Yunho was still in the dance studio and he told him that he would meet him here with Yoochun and bumped into Heechul at one point, who gave a dirty look and went on avoiding him and Yunho. He couldn't help but feel responsible for what was going on between them and wondered if he should confront Heechul about it. He just didn't want to see Yunho get hurt anymore.
"That's it, I give up, you win this time, Junsu-Hyung." Changmin said tiredly as he laid beside Jaejoong's left side and Junsu who laid by Jaejoong's right side. "I call rematch, tomorrow!"
"Maybe next time, Changmin, besides you owe me lunch!" Junsu exclaimed, stretching his arms out to the sky.
"Something bothering you, Jae-hyung?" Changmin asked, turning on his side to look at him and Junsu did the same.
"Is it Yunho?" Junsu asked, curiously. " I heard from Leetuek-hyung that he and Heechu-hyung got into an argument and Yunho left, pretty angry."
Jaejoong sighed and bit his lip. "I just want to know something and I want the both of you to be honest with me, okay? Spare my feelings, just, please, tell me the truth."
Changmin and Junsu nodded and waited for Jaejoong's question.
"Is it wrong to spend a lot of time with one of your best friends?" Jaejoong asked, staring at the the endless blue sky.
"Nope." Changmin answered first. " I mean, what's wrong with that? I spend a lot of time playing soccer and kicking Junsu's hyung's butt " (HEY!- Junsu exclaimed) but it's not like we're causing ultimate destruction by hanging out with each other."
"I think it depends." Junsu said as Jaejoong and Changmin looked at him. "Hanging out with one of your best friends is okay, Hyung, but what about your other friends? They can get pretty lonely too, I mean, I would if I hang out all day kicking Changmin's butt in soccer (HMPH! Changmin stuck on his tongue) and not spend anytime with Eunhyuk, you, Yunho-hyung, Yoochun etc. It gets lonely when it's just being two rather than five etc, you see what I mean?"
"Yeah." Jaejoong whispered, that's probably what Heechul and the others were probably feeling right now.
He got up quickly, wiping his pants.
"Hey, Hyung, where are you going?" Changmin asked.
"I'm just going to set things right once and for all, I'll see you guys later." Jaejoong said with a smile, and turned away, and made a run to the direction of the company.
It was finally his turn to be a hero.
-------
Heechul went into their room, making sure that Yunho and Jaejoong were nowhere to be found and went onto Jaejoong's laptop. He had to find some dirt on this punk who was stealing his best friend and his other friends as well.
Everyone had a secret, and there's a time when the secret is exposed and destroys the person whose secret it belongs to. He was going to do that to Jaejoong, that punk, who steals his best friend, his room mate and the time they usually spend with each other, not to mention being ditched for the Jaejoong-punk as well.
So what if Yunho wasn't talking to him? He could do the same towards Jaejoong, so that Yunho could end up hating Jaejoong and go back to him again. After all, he wasn't going to sit around and wait, he was going to make it happen.
He didn't know what Yunho liked about that Jaejoong guy, sure he had the looks, but nothing on him, that's for sure.
He logged on, and shook his head." Jaejoong, you fool, you didn't even put a password on your laptop."
Heechul clicked on documents and then skipped pass so many folders of H.O.T. and then he found something.
"YJ".
He clicked it and his eyes almost popped out of his sockets, oh, my.
It had to be Jaejoong's diary, the punk typed up almost everything in detail, and then like he figured, Yunho was mentioned everywhere.
He printed out a page instead of the entire 100 pages and he was pleased.
On the bottom of the page, it was Jaejoong's secret and Heechul was positive that it was going to destroy whatever Yunho had for Jaejoong, oh, yes, their relationship was going down the drain.
"Heechul-hyung, what are you doing on my laptop?"
Heechul turned around with a smile on his face. "Just found something interesting, Jaejoong, so does Yunho know?"
From the look on Jaejoong's face, Heechul knew that Yunho had no idea and things were about to get interesting.
"Heechul-hyung, I just came here to apologize---"
Heechul laughed at him and waved the document in his hand. "Apologize all you want, that's not going to stop me from showing this to Yunho."
Jaejoong walked to him and looked at him. "Heechul-hyung, I'm not trying to steal Yunho away from you, you're his best friends above everyone else including me and what you guys have is something greater than what Yunho and I have."
"What's your point, Jaejoong? You can talk all you want, but it isn't going to change anything."
"Look, I don't tell Yunho who he should hang out with and what not, he chooses to hang out with me." Jaejoong pointed out, trying to corner Heechul. He needed to get his hands on that document!
"Yeah right, brainwashing him is probably what you're good at too!" Heechul exclaimed angrily. "Well, well, look who's come by, hey, ex-best friend."
Jaejoong gulped, Heechul saw that Jaejoong was trembling. Good, he got him.
"What's going on here?" Yunho asked, placed a hand on Jaejoong's shoulder and looked at him, but he avoided his gaze. "Jaejoong, hey, you're shaking."
"Oh, please, he's just scared because of what I'm holding in my hands." Heechul laughed and grinned slyly at him. "You're scared shitless, aren't you, Jaejoong?"
"Heechul, shut the fuck up." Yunho said and put an arm around Jaejoong's shoulder. "Jae, maybe you should sit down."
Jaejoong shook his head and was already backing towards the door.
Heechul slammed Jaejoong's laptop shut and began Jaejoong's nightmare, he started to read the document.
"Dear Hero,
It's become something even more, I just know it. The more I spend time with him, the more I find myself at peace and at ease with him. He makes me happy and his smile is my strength. I don't know why, but these feelings started forming when he first spoke to me, that night, I was never so frightened in my life. The way he looked at me with such kind eyes and a smile that made it hard for me to think straight, sometimes I wondered if I was dreaming or if I was just that lucky. Maybe there someone out there on top, watching out for me and maybe He really is listening to my prayers at night. All I know is, he's something really important to me and I don't want to lose him for anything.
But there's something else, I want to say too, something I struggled to get into terms with, something that grew and grew the more I spend time with him and that unfamiliar flipping in my chest that would sometimes ache when he wasn't around. I know I may sound insane here or not even in my right mind, but I..I love him.
I, KIM HERO JAEJOONG, love Jung Yunho. "
When Heechul read the last line, Jaejoong ran out the door and Heechul laughed, but wasn't fast enough to duck when something hit him hard on the face and everything went black.
-----
It was all over. Everything he had with Yunho was done and gone.
He ran out the door, he couldn't bear to see Yunho's expression. It was probably a mixture of disgust, anger and hate. He became friends with Jaejoong and now he betrayed him by having feelings that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
He was so scared, god, if anything,he wanted to go back into time and wished he could have just chosen a random room mate and then maybe he wouldn't have gotten close to Yunho and gotten to love him.
He didn't want to hang out with Yunho and figured a day with him would be enough, but that was never the case, the more he spend time with him, it became an addiction, he just wanted Yunho more and more to himself.
It was wrong and it was selfish, but he just didn't care anymore and now look what happened. He didn't know how far he ran, but the next thing he knew it, he was by the red phone booth where Yunho hugged him after an argument with Heechul.
It was starting to get dark, he didn't care anymore. After today, he'd come home to an empty room like always.
He went into the red photo booth, closed the door behind him, sank to his knees and cried his heart out.
----
He didn't care that it was dark out and that he was out of breath, he needed to find Jaejoong. He figured it out, his own feelings and all he had to do was get them across Jaejoong, but where could he be right now?
"There's someone sleeping in the phone booth, Daddy." Yunho overheard this kid say as he passed by them.
"Nevermind him, son, he's probably just as tired as I am."
Red phone booth. It had to be!
He ran the opposite direction from where he came from and prayed in his mind that it wasn't a drunk homeless guy. He walked over to the phone booth and could see someone sitting there, and he walked over and knocked on the glass door.
He saw his eyes, and it was Jaejoong. Great, whatever was flipping in his chest, was beating harder than ever.
Jaejoong opened the door slowly and Yunho could see that his eyes were somewhat puffy, from crying? He felt something squeeze him inside and it hurt, and ache like crazy. He stood right in front of the phone booth, pushing the door shut as he looked at him, not making a move to lessen the gap of space between them.
"Don't, Yunho." Jaejoong said, his voice cracking. "I know what you're going to say and I'm okay with it. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore, we can always change room mates when we get back. I'm fine with it, it's not like things can go back to the way they were before so all I'm asking is that you..pretend that nothing has happened between us and ---"
Yunho placed his hands on both of Jaejoong's wrist, trapping his body over Jaejoong, as Jaejoong looked him in the eyes and wouldn't try to escape from him.
"Pretend? Jaejoong, I can't pretend like none of what we had didn't happen okay?" Yunho said, staring straight into his eyes. "Look, I don't regret anything that I had with you and I'm thankful that you came into my life and geez, I-I wouldn't be who I am right now if it wasn't for you."
"I just want to know something, Jaejoong, the letter that Heechul was holding, did you mean everything you typed in there? Everything from the Dear Hero to the ---"
Jaejoong nodded and forced a small smile. "I meant every word, Yunho, which is why we shouldn't be friends anymore."
"You're right, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong turned his face down and Yunho pressed his forehead against Jaejoong's forehead.
"I can't be friends with you.. if I'm in love with you, too right?"
Jaejoong blew out a shaky breath and whispered, "That's impossible."
"Well, it not, Jaejoong, at least not for me." Yunho said, relaxing his hold on Jaejoong's wrists. "I'm not really good with words because I've never felt this way towards anyone before. I'm happy whenever I'm around you, Jaejoong and I love being around you. when you're not around, I miss you and sometimes make stupid excuses just to see you, even if my schedule is screwed up, it doesn't matter until I get to see you. I don't fall asleep until you're in bed, snoring softly nor can I concentrate talking to you, when you stare at me with that innocent doeful expression on your face and sometimes when you pout, I want to just freaking, kiss you!"
Jaejoong stared at him and looked down again. Yunho wondered if Jaejoong's always this shy? He found it cute, but he wasn't just done yet, he needed to tell something else to Jaejoong too.
"Jaejoong, I have a secret, too."
Jaejoong finally looked at him in the eyes and looked confused and somewhat scared?
"I, Jung "Uknow" Yunho, love Kim "Hero" Jaejoong."
With that, Yunho pulled him into a bear hug and Jaejoong held on tighter, feeling the warmth from Yunho's body warm up his cold body and..his heart.
There was nothing left to say, but to feel.
-----------------------------------
"See, I told you, they're in love, Hyung." Yoochun said, peeking from the bushes as Junsu and Changmin silently chewed on their MCDs and the rest of their trainee Hyungs were watching with them.
"I get it, I get now, why the hell are we hiding in the bushes?" Heechul said, trying to get up, his cheek was throbbing when Dong Hae woke him up. He was going to get Yunho back for that, well when things cooled down.
"Come on, let's leave." Dong Hae said, grabbing Heechul's hand and leaving the others behind. Hyung, you understand now right?"
Heechul nodded, "Yeah, I guess I never had a chance anyways, but I guess love is pretty crazy and intense, right? Yunho knows how to throw a punch, ow, shit. "
Dong Hae smiled and held onto his hand, "Let's go home, I'll get you an ice pack."
------------------------------------------------------------
That's how it started, with everything, and through everything, it started and ended with him and Yunho. :)
BONUS: [future plans of YUNJAE :D]
FINIS.
Author: addicted_tvxq
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/Yunho, minor: Donghae/Heechul
Length: One-shot
Rating: PG-13
Summary: How everything started with Yunho and Jaejoong during their trainee days and what happens when two completely different people and opposite personalities collide? But Jaejoong also has a secret, a secret that could possibly ruin everything he has with Yunho, or could it?
A/N: I must warn you all that this is not just an ordinary one shot, it's a very LONG one-shot, with our YUNJAE of course. I do not own any of the fan work or pictures; credit already on them. :)
"Through Everything"
Stepping into S.M. entertainment, he was feeling more nervous than happy. Sure, he passed the auditions out of 1,000 auditioners, but the second hard part was stepping into a whole new world apart from being at home and helping around his family's restaurant.
When he heard that the auditions for SM entertainment was starting again, he decided to go for it. He didn't have any special talent or anything, he figured that the easiest thing for him to do is just sing and let everything fall into pieces there. His parents supported him even though he was unsure of himself and his sisters made him food that would last him for a few weeks, and off, he went, alone and going to a road that either meant making his dreams come true or stubborn action of his own not to cook for the rest of his life at his family's restaurant.
He didn't fit in, he knew it from the start. Everyone was dressing with some fashion trademark, and he was wearing clothes that he wore back home that were plain and didn't have any fancy fashion logos like the others, and the only thing brand new was his sneakers that he worked months for and it was the only thing he was proud of wearing at that moment, till he saw the others with Nikes and Jordans, his shoes looked like trash compared to his.
He knew that they spoke about him behind his back, how they'd whisper and turn their heads when he passed by them. Their presence intimidated him, he didn't want to say something and end up regretting it later.
He was placed in a dorm by himself since all the other trainees already chose their own dorm mates, no one signed up to dorm with him. He had mixed feelings of happiness and sadness, one, he didn't have to worry about trying strike up a conversation with someone else or try to make friends, but the other part was that, he was going to be even lonelier than ever.
That is, till he met him.
-----------
"Yunho-ah~, dorm with me!" His friend, Heechul, whined, throwing his skinny arms around Yunho's waist, trying to tug him to his room.
Yunho shook him off as he picked up his boxes, while Heechul followed him from behind. "Hyung, I already dormed with you last year, don't you think it's time to start off fresh? Besides, there are other trainees besides me, ya know?"
Heechul ignored him and started complaining about their other friend and his-to-be dormmate, Dong Hae and his weird habits, and continued talking about the other trainees that he wasn't too comfortable with. Yunho knew Heechul was friends with everyone despite all the excuses that were coming out of his mouth at that moment.
"See, that's why I think we're perfect dormmates, Yunho!" Heechul said, placing his hands on his hips and blocking his way to his new dorm room. He continued rambling and Yunho's arms were aching, as he gave Heechul a few minutes to talk away until he had just about enough.
"Argh, shut up, Hyung, and open the door!" Yunho exclaimed, his arms were literally going to break if he continued carrying these boxes even longer.
"Oh right!" Heechul opened the door for him and Yunho practically ran into the room, dropping the heavy boxes down and his heavy duffle bag full of his clothes.
"I don't know why you want to move in here, I mean, whoever you're dorming with has absolutely no sense of fashion." Heechul said, looking at his dormmate's side of the room. Heechul went over the line most of the time, there wasn't anything bad on his dorm mate's side, everything was neat and clean on that side and he noticed a H.O.T. poster hanging over the bed. There were a couple of CDs on the desk, couple of books and a notebook.
"Let's go, Yunho, I'll buy you lunch and ..you move back in with me?" Heechul asked, still not letting the subject drop.
"Go on without me, Hyung, I have to unpack my things, hurry, or Dong Hae will come looking for you, could you imagine what he might do?"
Heechul gulped. "On second thought, I'll see you later, okay, Yunho-ah?" Heechul rushed out of his room in a second, leaving him alone in the room. Yunho knew that the only person that Heechul was freaked out by was Dong Hae, who supposedly could see ghosts and communicate with the dead? It was just a rumor that was going around, but Heechul believed it especially when Dong Hae has the habit appearing out of now where like a ghost.
A few hours later, he finally finished unpacking everything and placing them where they belonged. Yunho looked at the time, it was already 8 at night and this whole time, his dorm mate hasn't even stepped foot in the room at all. He didn't feel like answering Heechul's calls and his other friends', he wanted some time alone and wanted to get to know his new room mate, Kim Jaejoong.
He's seen him around the company, but could never find the time to introduce himself. The Jaejoong guy was always by himself, sitting apart from others and was very mysterious. All he heard from the other guys was that he came from province outside of Seoul and had financial problems or something, and somehow he ended up auditioning and knocked everyone dead with his voice.
He walked over to his room mate's side and went over to his room mate's area, and looked at the desk. It had tons of H.O.T cds and some old rock singers CDs, but what stood out from all the other stuff on the desk, was an old, battered notebook. Yunho opened it and each page was filled with Jaejoong's handwriting and scribbles, and even more writing. Yunho realized that they were song lyrics and each page had a different song, and even though he didn't know how the song went, he found himself, singing along.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Before Yunho could respond, the notebook was snatched away from his hands and he found himself staring back at Jaejoong, who was now holding the notebook to his chest and glaring at him with the most coldest expression he's ever seen on his face before, and shit, it gave him chills.
-----
He woke up from his usual spot at the top of the S.M. building roof top, watching the sun go down till he fell asleep. After he finished training, he left to the place that had the most amazing view in the whole city.
He lost track of time when he woke up and immediately, jumped off the roof top, opened a door and ran downstairs. He might as well skip dinner, since the cafeteria was probably packed with all the other trainees. He decided to go to his dorm room instead, and figured that his dorm mate was eating at the cafeteria with the other trainees.
He came up with another song when he woke up and wanted to write it down before he lost the idea, and he didn't want to lose that chance. If he was going to become a singer, he might as well make the effort to create his own music, his own style and his touch. He made a oath to himself that whatever song he sang, he had to put part of himself inside the song and make the song be apart of him.
He made it to the dorm room, only to see that the light was coming from the room. Was someone else in the room? He hesitated to open the door and took a deep breath, and figured that maybe his room mate was nice enough to leave the light on for him as he hanged out with his trainee friends.
He turned the door knob slowly and pushed the door quietly, and it turned out that someone else was in the room as well. It was ...one of them. He recognized that person, he remembered always seeing him surrounded by lots of people and Jaejoong knew that he was popular with just about everyone except for him that is.
Yunho. That was the guy's name, he overheard Yunho's name being called by a couple of the trainees. Jaejoong watched him during practice, he was an incredibly talented dancer and was usually the one who helped choreographed their next dance practice. He was tall, with his usual spiky brown and black hair and was dressed in some expensive athletic wear.
Compared to his skinny, pale and bulky structure, Yunho had nice skin tone, was definitely athletic built and had small muscles from his arms to his legs and for some reason, he was always fixated by Yunho's mole. It was stupid, but he always thought moles were ugly since he had a bunch of them on his face, but when he looked at Yunho's ...he found it..not so ugly at all.
He looked to see that Yunho was by his desk, looking over..his notebook! Shit, he should've hid it under his bed, Yunho was probably shaking with laughter or something, and maybe would steal his notebook and share it with his trainee friends like it was an inside joke.
He was already squeezing his fists in anger, it was bad enough that the other trainees already thought he was weird to begin with and stayed away from him, but something bothered him even more that Yunho was going through his things, his personal things without even asking him.
and the words, just slipped out before he could even stop them.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
He grabbed his notebook away from Yunho and held it tightly to his chest, and glared at him. Angry that he touched something valuable to him without even asking and that Yunho had to find out about his habit before he could even sing the songs he wrote to begin with.
"Ah, I was just looking at your notebook." Yunho said, looking embarrassed and running his hand through his hair. "It was well, interesting, I have to say."
Jaejoong didn't smile, instead looked confused. "Interesting?" He asked, now holding his notebook to his side.
"Yeah." Yunho said nodding, with a smile on his face. "You're a very talented writer, did you write these lyrics by yourself?
Jaejoong almost smiled, he was waiting for Yunho to make a joke about his writing, but he didn't, he just stood staring at him with a smile plastered on his face, geez, it made something in his chest flip.
"I-I did, but it's nothing, anyways." Jaejoong said, moving past him and began organizing his CDs, great, Yunho must think he's some huge H.O.T. fanatic and write songs that will probably never become a single. Boy, Yunho had a lot of stories to share with his friends. "What are you doing here?"
Yunho raised an eyebrow and sat on the corner his bed. "Well, I'm your room mate for this year and that pretty much means, I live here with you for a whole academic year."
Jaejoong nodded and didn't bother to turn around, he might as well ignore him long enough so that he could just leave him alone. It was bad enough that he had to share a room with one of the most popular trainees in SM and by the guy that intimidated him the most out of all of them.
"I'm Jung Yunho and you're Kim Jaejoong, right?"
"Hero." Jaejoong replied out of the blue, he seriously had to tape his mouth.
"Hero?" Yunho asked, staring curiously at Jaejoong that Jaejoong just had to look at him.
He put his notebook in the cabinet, slamming it shut and turned to look at him.
"Yeah, it's a nickname that my family..and friends back at home called me." He said, gazing at Yunho's face and kept wondering when he was going to burst out laughing and leave the room. "I had a lot of sisters and I was the only son, and I used to get picked on and teased in school for having so many sisters, and in order, to stop crying, my mom gave me that nickname and it means strength and courage all in one. Just something..I didn't have when I was younger."
He didn't know why he rambled off like that and why he felt the need to tell him about that part of himself to Yunho. He didn't know why he was still waiting for Yunho to reject him and ignore him like the others have towards him.
"That's cool, I'll remember that, thanks for telling me, Hero." Yunho said, smiling at him again that Jaejoong had to look away. He felt happy, he wanted to smile back too, but was very cautious not too.
Jaejoong nodded and looked down, wondering what else to say. Then a loud noise came from his stomach, ending the small silence between them followed by Yunho's sudden laughter.
Jaejoong knew he was turning red, and was about to run out of the room, when Yunho ruffled his hair and got up from his bed.
"Hey, let's go eat dinner, Hero." Yunho asked, and pat his stomach. "I'm pretty hungry myself, I didn't eat dinner yet since I was too busy unpacking."
"Okay." He replied, surprising the both of them. Yunho reached to ruffle his hair again, but Jaejoong moved before he could. He wasn't sure yet about Yunho, but Yunho didn't look like he minded and reached out to ruffle his hair again and ..for some odd reason, Jaejoong let him.
He looked up and Yunho smiled at him, with his crooked teeth and all, Jaejoong found them perfect.
-------
The more he spend time with Jaejoong, the more he got to know the person behind the good looks and mysterious, cold front. Beside the cold exterior, was a guy with a warm heart, probably out of his friends, Jaejoong's heart was pure and warm that whenever he was around him, he felt comfortable and at ease.
He felt that maybe Jaejoong felt the same way about him as well. He remembered when he invited him to have dinner with him, he thought that Jaejoong was going to reject him and he was going look like an idiot. But to his surprise, Jaejoong agreed to go with him and he smiled so much, his face began to hurt.
Yunho began to open up to Jaejoong about things he never talked about with anyone, not even with Heechul. Like how he got that scar on his face or when he had heated arguments with his father about his goals in life and the kind of person that he wanted to be without being judged harshly for it.
Jaejoong was different and seemed to understand where he came from. Although it may seem to people that Jaejoong was a quiet guy that kept to himself, he was by far to Yunho, the most talkative and loud person in circle of friends, and yes, even louder than Heechul and Leetuek when they were together.
He liked the idea that Jaejoong was hanging out with his friends and was no longer, wandering the buildings of S.M. and disappearing and appearing in thin air. He felt like he wanted to hold onto Jaejoong because something in the back of his mind told him that Jaejoong was going to disappear and it would be too late to get him back.
But, not everyone was enjoying Jaejoong's presence.
"Yunho, I get that you and Jaejoong are friends, but does he always have to come with us whenever we go out to eat?" Heechul complained to Yunho when Jaejoong was in the rest room.
Yunho frowned. "What's wrong with having Jaejoong around? You don't seem to have a problem with Siwon, Hangeng or even Dong Hae eating out with us, so why all of a sudden, you have a problem with Jaejoong around?"
"Look, you're misinterpreting what I'm saying, Yunho." Heechul explained, patting his hand. "I'm just saying that, don't you think, you're spending a lot of time with Jaejoong, lately? I mean, lately, everyone has been seeing you guys together almost everywhere and people are bound to talk, Yunho, if you get what I mean."
Yunho sighed and pulled his hand from underneath Heechul's hand, back then, it was okay, but this time, it just made him uncomfortable. "First of all, I don't care what people have to say about me and Jaejoong, he's my friend, too, Heechul-hyung and I'm not going to suddenly stop hanging out with him because people find it strange or weird."
"So what you're saying is that, Jaejoong's friendship is everything to you, then what about me, Yunho?"
Yunho leaned back and looked him, Heechul and wonder where all this seriousness came from. Heechul was always joking around and now he was being serious. "What, Hyung?"
"What about us? We don't even hang out as much anymore since we had new room mates, and whenever I want to hang out with you, you're either busy or just busy with someone else. "I just think that there's this gap growing between us, Yunho-ah, and I'm not the only who feels that way either, I mean, Kangin, Siwon, Leetuek--"
"Is this what's going on, Hyung?" Yunho said, standing up, already feeling furious. "You guys just start talking behind my back and Jaejoong's back as well like we're complete strangers to you guys, is this what it is?"
People were starting to look at them and Heechul got up, already whispering to him to calm the hell down and sit down. But he couldn't, they were talking bullshit about him and Jaejoong, how was he suppose to calm the hell down and let this go.
"Yunho, sit your ass down, people are staring." Heechul whispered harshly, glaring at him as if to make him sit down.
He felt someone touch his arm and he somewhat relaxed, and turned to find himself staring at Jaejoong's worried face, his black eyes holding down his brown eyes, he suddenly relaxed and reached down, till he found Jaejoong's hand.
"Why won't you sit your own ass down and enjoy your dinner, I'm leaving."
With that, Yunho walked out with Jaejoong and with Heechul, yelling out his name as Heechul's voice faded away.
------
It was already night time and they finally stopped walking. Jaejoong wasn't sure what to say, and with Yunho still holding on his hand, how the hell was he suppose to think straight?
"Jaejoong, if I asked you to do me a favor, would you do it?"
Jaejoong nodded and without another word, Yunho finally let go of his hand, pulled him into his arms and hugged him as tighter than he did when he held onto his hand.
"Yunho, you okay?"
Yunho didn't respond and Jaejoong pat his back gently. "Did..I do something wrong?"
Yunho shook his head and pressed his face against Jaejoong's shoulder. Jaejoong decided not to say anything any further because he felt that when Yunho wanted to talk about whatever happened between him and Heechul, he would, but right now, all Jaejoong wanted to concentrate on was holding Yunho in his arms.
The hard part was holding the secret that Jaejoong kept from Yunho when he first spoke to him because if Yunho found out, he'd never speak or look at him the same way again.
-----
"Yoochun, can I ask you something?"
Yoochun put down his phone and made room for Yunho to sit beside him.
"What's up, Hyung?"
Yunho didn't want to make it sound like it was a big deal to him, but it's been bothering since that incident at the restaurant. What's even more hard for him is that since Jaejoong is his room mate, he can't help but think about the incident over and over again.
"Does it seem like Jaejoong and I..do we spend time, I mean, are we always---"
"Always together?" Yoochun asked and Yunho nodded, like it wasn't a big deal, only that it was. "Well,yeah, you guys are friends, best friends, right?"
"Yeah, best friends." Yunho repeated, but it sounds a bit off to him. "Well, thanks, Yoochun."
"Hyung, wait."
Yunho looked at him as he got up.
"Look whatever is going on, just know that you and Jaejoong-hyung have us, if not with Heechul and the others, we, Junsu, Changmin and I have faith in you guys." Yoochun said, with a smile and gave him a small wave goodbye.
"Thanks, Yoochun." Yunho said, leaning over as he pat his friend's shoulder.
He was glad to have support with his other friends and maybe he just needed time to sort out what was going on in his mind and that crazy thing in his chest that kept flipping whenever he sees Jaejoong.
----
Jaejoong laid on the grass, in the middle of the soccer field, listening to Junsu and Changmin bicker as they played soccer. Most of the time, Junsu and Changmin were always playing in the soccer field when practice was over and Jaejoong found their presences comforting.
Yunho was still in the dance studio and he told him that he would meet him here with Yoochun and bumped into Heechul at one point, who gave a dirty look and went on avoiding him and Yunho. He couldn't help but feel responsible for what was going on between them and wondered if he should confront Heechul about it. He just didn't want to see Yunho get hurt anymore.
"That's it, I give up, you win this time, Junsu-Hyung." Changmin said tiredly as he laid beside Jaejoong's left side and Junsu who laid by Jaejoong's right side. "I call rematch, tomorrow!"
"Maybe next time, Changmin, besides you owe me lunch!" Junsu exclaimed, stretching his arms out to the sky.
"Something bothering you, Jae-hyung?" Changmin asked, turning on his side to look at him and Junsu did the same.
"Is it Yunho?" Junsu asked, curiously. " I heard from Leetuek-hyung that he and Heechu-hyung got into an argument and Yunho left, pretty angry."
Jaejoong sighed and bit his lip. "I just want to know something and I want the both of you to be honest with me, okay? Spare my feelings, just, please, tell me the truth."
Changmin and Junsu nodded and waited for Jaejoong's question.
"Is it wrong to spend a lot of time with one of your best friends?" Jaejoong asked, staring at the the endless blue sky.
"Nope." Changmin answered first. " I mean, what's wrong with that? I spend a lot of time playing soccer and kicking Junsu's hyung's butt " (HEY!- Junsu exclaimed) but it's not like we're causing ultimate destruction by hanging out with each other."
"I think it depends." Junsu said as Jaejoong and Changmin looked at him. "Hanging out with one of your best friends is okay, Hyung, but what about your other friends? They can get pretty lonely too, I mean, I would if I hang out all day kicking Changmin's butt in soccer (HMPH! Changmin stuck on his tongue) and not spend anytime with Eunhyuk, you, Yunho-hyung, Yoochun etc. It gets lonely when it's just being two rather than five etc, you see what I mean?"
"Yeah." Jaejoong whispered, that's probably what Heechul and the others were probably feeling right now.
He got up quickly, wiping his pants.
"Hey, Hyung, where are you going?" Changmin asked.
"I'm just going to set things right once and for all, I'll see you guys later." Jaejoong said with a smile, and turned away, and made a run to the direction of the company.
It was finally his turn to be a hero.
-------
Heechul went into their room, making sure that Yunho and Jaejoong were nowhere to be found and went onto Jaejoong's laptop. He had to find some dirt on this punk who was stealing his best friend and his other friends as well.
Everyone had a secret, and there's a time when the secret is exposed and destroys the person whose secret it belongs to. He was going to do that to Jaejoong, that punk, who steals his best friend, his room mate and the time they usually spend with each other, not to mention being ditched for the Jaejoong-punk as well.
So what if Yunho wasn't talking to him? He could do the same towards Jaejoong, so that Yunho could end up hating Jaejoong and go back to him again. After all, he wasn't going to sit around and wait, he was going to make it happen.
He didn't know what Yunho liked about that Jaejoong guy, sure he had the looks, but nothing on him, that's for sure.
He logged on, and shook his head." Jaejoong, you fool, you didn't even put a password on your laptop."
Heechul clicked on documents and then skipped pass so many folders of H.O.T. and then he found something.
"YJ".
He clicked it and his eyes almost popped out of his sockets, oh, my.
It had to be Jaejoong's diary, the punk typed up almost everything in detail, and then like he figured, Yunho was mentioned everywhere.
He printed out a page instead of the entire 100 pages and he was pleased.
On the bottom of the page, it was Jaejoong's secret and Heechul was positive that it was going to destroy whatever Yunho had for Jaejoong, oh, yes, their relationship was going down the drain.
"Heechul-hyung, what are you doing on my laptop?"
Heechul turned around with a smile on his face. "Just found something interesting, Jaejoong, so does Yunho know?"
From the look on Jaejoong's face, Heechul knew that Yunho had no idea and things were about to get interesting.
"Heechul-hyung, I just came here to apologize---"
Heechul laughed at him and waved the document in his hand. "Apologize all you want, that's not going to stop me from showing this to Yunho."
Jaejoong walked to him and looked at him. "Heechul-hyung, I'm not trying to steal Yunho away from you, you're his best friends above everyone else including me and what you guys have is something greater than what Yunho and I have."
"What's your point, Jaejoong? You can talk all you want, but it isn't going to change anything."
"Look, I don't tell Yunho who he should hang out with and what not, he chooses to hang out with me." Jaejoong pointed out, trying to corner Heechul. He needed to get his hands on that document!
"Yeah right, brainwashing him is probably what you're good at too!" Heechul exclaimed angrily. "Well, well, look who's come by, hey, ex-best friend."
Jaejoong gulped, Heechul saw that Jaejoong was trembling. Good, he got him.
"What's going on here?" Yunho asked, placed a hand on Jaejoong's shoulder and looked at him, but he avoided his gaze. "Jaejoong, hey, you're shaking."
"Oh, please, he's just scared because of what I'm holding in my hands." Heechul laughed and grinned slyly at him. "You're scared shitless, aren't you, Jaejoong?"
"Heechul, shut the fuck up." Yunho said and put an arm around Jaejoong's shoulder. "Jae, maybe you should sit down."
Jaejoong shook his head and was already backing towards the door.
Heechul slammed Jaejoong's laptop shut and began Jaejoong's nightmare, he started to read the document.
"Dear Hero,
It's become something even more, I just know it. The more I spend time with him, the more I find myself at peace and at ease with him. He makes me happy and his smile is my strength. I don't know why, but these feelings started forming when he first spoke to me, that night, I was never so frightened in my life. The way he looked at me with such kind eyes and a smile that made it hard for me to think straight, sometimes I wondered if I was dreaming or if I was just that lucky. Maybe there someone out there on top, watching out for me and maybe He really is listening to my prayers at night. All I know is, he's something really important to me and I don't want to lose him for anything.
But there's something else, I want to say too, something I struggled to get into terms with, something that grew and grew the more I spend time with him and that unfamiliar flipping in my chest that would sometimes ache when he wasn't around. I know I may sound insane here or not even in my right mind, but I..I love him.
I, KIM HERO JAEJOONG, love Jung Yunho. "
When Heechul read the last line, Jaejoong ran out the door and Heechul laughed, but wasn't fast enough to duck when something hit him hard on the face and everything went black.
-----
It was all over. Everything he had with Yunho was done and gone.
He ran out the door, he couldn't bear to see Yunho's expression. It was probably a mixture of disgust, anger and hate. He became friends with Jaejoong and now he betrayed him by having feelings that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
He was so scared, god, if anything,he wanted to go back into time and wished he could have just chosen a random room mate and then maybe he wouldn't have gotten close to Yunho and gotten to love him.
He didn't want to hang out with Yunho and figured a day with him would be enough, but that was never the case, the more he spend time with him, it became an addiction, he just wanted Yunho more and more to himself.
It was wrong and it was selfish, but he just didn't care anymore and now look what happened. He didn't know how far he ran, but the next thing he knew it, he was by the red phone booth where Yunho hugged him after an argument with Heechul.
It was starting to get dark, he didn't care anymore. After today, he'd come home to an empty room like always.
He went into the red photo booth, closed the door behind him, sank to his knees and cried his heart out.
----
He didn't care that it was dark out and that he was out of breath, he needed to find Jaejoong. He figured it out, his own feelings and all he had to do was get them across Jaejoong, but where could he be right now?
"There's someone sleeping in the phone booth, Daddy." Yunho overheard this kid say as he passed by them.
"Nevermind him, son, he's probably just as tired as I am."
Red phone booth. It had to be!
He ran the opposite direction from where he came from and prayed in his mind that it wasn't a drunk homeless guy. He walked over to the phone booth and could see someone sitting there, and he walked over and knocked on the glass door.
He saw his eyes, and it was Jaejoong. Great, whatever was flipping in his chest, was beating harder than ever.
Jaejoong opened the door slowly and Yunho could see that his eyes were somewhat puffy, from crying? He felt something squeeze him inside and it hurt, and ache like crazy. He stood right in front of the phone booth, pushing the door shut as he looked at him, not making a move to lessen the gap of space between them.
"Don't, Yunho." Jaejoong said, his voice cracking. "I know what you're going to say and I'm okay with it. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore, we can always change room mates when we get back. I'm fine with it, it's not like things can go back to the way they were before so all I'm asking is that you..pretend that nothing has happened between us and ---"
Yunho placed his hands on both of Jaejoong's wrist, trapping his body over Jaejoong, as Jaejoong looked him in the eyes and wouldn't try to escape from him.
"Pretend? Jaejoong, I can't pretend like none of what we had didn't happen okay?" Yunho said, staring straight into his eyes. "Look, I don't regret anything that I had with you and I'm thankful that you came into my life and geez, I-I wouldn't be who I am right now if it wasn't for you."
"I just want to know something, Jaejoong, the letter that Heechul was holding, did you mean everything you typed in there? Everything from the Dear Hero to the ---"
Jaejoong nodded and forced a small smile. "I meant every word, Yunho, which is why we shouldn't be friends anymore."
"You're right, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong turned his face down and Yunho pressed his forehead against Jaejoong's forehead.
"I can't be friends with you.. if I'm in love with you, too right?"
Jaejoong blew out a shaky breath and whispered, "That's impossible."
"Well, it not, Jaejoong, at least not for me." Yunho said, relaxing his hold on Jaejoong's wrists. "I'm not really good with words because I've never felt this way towards anyone before. I'm happy whenever I'm around you, Jaejoong and I love being around you. when you're not around, I miss you and sometimes make stupid excuses just to see you, even if my schedule is screwed up, it doesn't matter until I get to see you. I don't fall asleep until you're in bed, snoring softly nor can I concentrate talking to you, when you stare at me with that innocent doeful expression on your face and sometimes when you pout, I want to just freaking, kiss you!"
Jaejoong stared at him and looked down again. Yunho wondered if Jaejoong's always this shy? He found it cute, but he wasn't just done yet, he needed to tell something else to Jaejoong too.
"Jaejoong, I have a secret, too."
Jaejoong finally looked at him in the eyes and looked confused and somewhat scared?
"I, Jung "Uknow" Yunho, love Kim "Hero" Jaejoong."
With that, Yunho pulled him into a bear hug and Jaejoong held on tighter, feeling the warmth from Yunho's body warm up his cold body and..his heart.
There was nothing left to say, but to feel.
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"See, I told you, they're in love, Hyung." Yoochun said, peeking from the bushes as Junsu and Changmin silently chewed on their MCDs and the rest of their trainee Hyungs were watching with them.
"I get it, I get now, why the hell are we hiding in the bushes?" Heechul said, trying to get up, his cheek was throbbing when Dong Hae woke him up. He was going to get Yunho back for that, well when things cooled down.
"Come on, let's leave." Dong Hae said, grabbing Heechul's hand and leaving the others behind. Hyung, you understand now right?"
Heechul nodded, "Yeah, I guess I never had a chance anyways, but I guess love is pretty crazy and intense, right? Yunho knows how to throw a punch, ow, shit. "
Dong Hae smiled and held onto his hand, "Let's go home, I'll get you an ice pack."
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That's how it started, with everything, and through everything, it started and ended with him and Yunho. :)
BONUS: [future plans of YUNJAE :D]
FINIS.