(no subject)
Hello friends!
Its been soooo WONDERFUL to get comments from you lovely folks that I havent communicated with in quite a while...its really comforting to know you all are still out there especially since everything around me is soo new and different and unfamiliar.
the women's studies program we are in is ridiculously hard. its a masters and phd program and our group are the only undergrad students. most of it goes over my head, and it is presented exclusively auditorally, and my brain functions best through visual and kinesthetic learning. So, im basically going out of my mind because i cant move, and im bored because I cant learn this way. but in the afternoon we have tutor groups which are smaller more focused discussion groups. its still highly theoretical and difficult to follow at times, but i feel like i can contribute and bring my own personal insights and analysis which is affirming.
it is still a wonder just to walk around the city, sit by the canals, smoke legally, and try to order food having absolutely NO idea what I will get when it comes to me.
ive been having a lot of dreams, mostly feeling out of control. ive been suddenly thrown into questioning my decisions around body image and gender performance, and so those things are occupying my mind quite a lot.
i am becoming good friends with a few of the people on the program, and i generally like everyone in the group. it helps to have people to help me get over my homesickness. its not too bad yet, i miss my family, i miss Bryan but I am used to that, i miss friends and comfort zones. but i am so grateful to be here and everything that I am experiencing, and I am so in the present moment. every day feels like longer, I havén't been here a week yet but it already feels like much longer.
anyway, thank you for your comments.
love, appreciation, content being here now.
kisses from across the ocean
a
Its been soooo WONDERFUL to get comments from you lovely folks that I havent communicated with in quite a while...its really comforting to know you all are still out there especially since everything around me is soo new and different and unfamiliar.
the women's studies program we are in is ridiculously hard. its a masters and phd program and our group are the only undergrad students. most of it goes over my head, and it is presented exclusively auditorally, and my brain functions best through visual and kinesthetic learning. So, im basically going out of my mind because i cant move, and im bored because I cant learn this way. but in the afternoon we have tutor groups which are smaller more focused discussion groups. its still highly theoretical and difficult to follow at times, but i feel like i can contribute and bring my own personal insights and analysis which is affirming.
it is still a wonder just to walk around the city, sit by the canals, smoke legally, and try to order food having absolutely NO idea what I will get when it comes to me.
ive been having a lot of dreams, mostly feeling out of control. ive been suddenly thrown into questioning my decisions around body image and gender performance, and so those things are occupying my mind quite a lot.
i am becoming good friends with a few of the people on the program, and i generally like everyone in the group. it helps to have people to help me get over my homesickness. its not too bad yet, i miss my family, i miss Bryan but I am used to that, i miss friends and comfort zones. but i am so grateful to be here and everything that I am experiencing, and I am so in the present moment. every day feels like longer, I havén't been here a week yet but it already feels like much longer.
anyway, thank you for your comments.
love, appreciation, content being here now.
kisses from across the ocean
a