From lifeinsunnydale
I dozed off in the taxi on the way back to the hotel after the festival. Mrs. Mears woke me up (I guess I'd kinda been leaning against her during the ride) when we arrived, and I mumbled some sort of goodnight to everyone before stumbling down the hallway to the room. I didn't wait for Warren or Buffy, guessing that they'd want to have some drawn-out looking-into-each-other's-eyes kind of moment or something like that. You know, something I'd have liked to have had with him. But instead I was just tired from trying to keep up with Mrs. Mears all night while waiting for Warren to come back to me.
So I guess it wasn't that big a deal, right? I mean, if Warren had even tried to have a moment with me or something right now I'd probably just fall asleep on him. And not all sexy-like, either. More in the I'm-asleep-on-my-keyboard-at-5am-and-drooling-on-the-mouse-pad kind of way. Besides, before anything else happened between me and Warren, I thought it was only right that I first sit him down and tell him that I had recently come to the conclusion that... I might be kinda gay. And now really wasn't the time for that, as I just didn't have the energy to deal with his undoubtedly shocked reaction to this news.
So I pulled on my sleep pants and my newly juice stained t-shirt and crawled into bed. I don't remember when Warren came back in, so I guess that means I either fell asleep right away or he was out there with Buffy for a while.
I sat up with a start, finding myself not in my bed, but leaning up against some rather familiar looking stalagmites (or were they stalactites? I could never remember). After a few moments I registered just where I was.
Why, the Batcave of course.
It seemed oddly natural that I was there, for some reason. It might have been just due to my devotion to the fandom, including the comics, movies, TV series, as well as the many animated series. Then again, maybe it was because I woke up to find myself dressed as Robin. But that wouldn't really explain why I felt comfortable in the tights...
But wait! Were those voices I heard in the distance? One I recognized as Warren's, but the other was female, and as I was pretty sure that this was pre Barbara Gordan as Batgirl, there would be no reason for any women to be in the Batcave. Curious, I proceeded to sneak all stealthily around the rocks, sticking to the shadows as I found a place where I could properly observe the events unfolding at the foot of the staircase.
Sure enough, there was Warren, looking absolutely breath-taking in Batman's uniform (the original comic version, not any of the later ones and definitely not the movie versions with the bat nipples included... those are freaky). And there, standing with BatWarren and laughing, was none other than Catwoman herself. But aha! I noticed that rather than her trademark whip; this kitten's claws were marked by her stake and crossbow. My brilliant conclusion as to this fiery young woman's identity was confirmed as she removed her mask in a cascade of blonde locks and the unmistakable flash of that battle-snarky smile belonging to the one and only Slayer.
"Oh Warren, I'm so glad we're rid of that bumbling boy wonder of yours. Now... we can be alone."
"Yes, my beloved Buffy. With Andrew out of the picture, you and I can go about a good and proper romance. The type of romance clearly illustrated in the great comic books of our time, and not that ridiculous subtle sort that was only hinted at and hidden between the lines of the original series."
"Oh Warren, you are in fact the perfect man! You deserve only the most perfect woman in existence - me."
"I do believe you are right, my love. Now then, let us fade to black so that you and I can engage in perfectly normal heterosexual intercourse together."
The lights began to dim, and I panicked. Throwing myself out of the shadows, I called out to Warren.
"Nooo! Do not be fooled, Warren! She only seems to have changed her ways because of her fascination and sexual attraction to your manly physique! But she shall never change her ways, despite the many issues they will devote to developing your relationship!"
Warren whirled to face me as Buffy pulled a stake from her leg holster.
"Andrew, what are you doing here?"
"Get lost, little boy. Your Warren is mine now."
"No! I shall not allow it! You may be the token female love interest in this tale, but ultimately the friendship that the hero shares with his loyal sidekick is stronger than any temporary bond of love you may have with him!"
"Funny, hearing that come from a pathetic loner like you... Nightwing!"
I gasped as I looked down at myself to see that yes, I was now clad in the robes of Nightwing as Dick Grayson was seen after abandoning Batman. Already I could feel the void of the hated character sucking me into a black oblivion.
"No! I haven't left you, Warren! I won't leave you!"
"It is already too late for you, Andrew. I've found a better sidekick. A shorter one."
From behind Warren stepped Jonathan, clad in the latest version of Robin's uniform as worn by Tim Drake.
"We don't need you anymore, Andrew. Be gone! Be forgotten! And leave us to our more widely-accepted canon pairing!"
That said, Warren swept Buffy into his arms and dipped her, kissing her so deeply that the lights in the room were forced to dim due to the oncoming sex scene that could not be shown in a comic readily available to children.
"Warren? No! Don't leave me, Warren! I still want to be your sidekick! Don't go! Nooooooooo!"
-----------------
I sat up in bed with a frightened gasp, blinking frantically in the darkened room. It was a moment or two before I realized that it had all been a dream. Warren was in bed next to me rather than engaging in illicit sexual acts with Catwoman Buffy. And Jonathan wasn't anywhere to be found, least of all wearing Peter Pan tights and a cape with pixie boots. No, we were still in the hotel in Israel. It was only a dream. Everything was all right.
Or was it?
Looking over at Warren's slumbering form, I couldn't help but wonder if he was dreaming too, and if he was, if it was about Buffy...
Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get a glass of water for myself before going back to sleep. When I came back, I made sure to climb back into bed as carefully as possible without waking up Warren. I listened to him breathing for a few minutes before the sound helped me to drift back to sleep.
So I guess it wasn't that big a deal, right? I mean, if Warren had even tried to have a moment with me or something right now I'd probably just fall asleep on him. And not all sexy-like, either. More in the I'm-asleep-on-my-keyboard-at-5am-and-drooling-on-the-mouse-pad kind of way. Besides, before anything else happened between me and Warren, I thought it was only right that I first sit him down and tell him that I had recently come to the conclusion that... I might be kinda gay. And now really wasn't the time for that, as I just didn't have the energy to deal with his undoubtedly shocked reaction to this news.
So I pulled on my sleep pants and my newly juice stained t-shirt and crawled into bed. I don't remember when Warren came back in, so I guess that means I either fell asleep right away or he was out there with Buffy for a while.
I sat up with a start, finding myself not in my bed, but leaning up against some rather familiar looking stalagmites (or were they stalactites? I could never remember). After a few moments I registered just where I was.
Why, the Batcave of course.
It seemed oddly natural that I was there, for some reason. It might have been just due to my devotion to the fandom, including the comics, movies, TV series, as well as the many animated series. Then again, maybe it was because I woke up to find myself dressed as Robin. But that wouldn't really explain why I felt comfortable in the tights...
But wait! Were those voices I heard in the distance? One I recognized as Warren's, but the other was female, and as I was pretty sure that this was pre Barbara Gordan as Batgirl, there would be no reason for any women to be in the Batcave. Curious, I proceeded to sneak all stealthily around the rocks, sticking to the shadows as I found a place where I could properly observe the events unfolding at the foot of the staircase.
Sure enough, there was Warren, looking absolutely breath-taking in Batman's uniform (the original comic version, not any of the later ones and definitely not the movie versions with the bat nipples included... those are freaky). And there, standing with BatWarren and laughing, was none other than Catwoman herself. But aha! I noticed that rather than her trademark whip; this kitten's claws were marked by her stake and crossbow. My brilliant conclusion as to this fiery young woman's identity was confirmed as she removed her mask in a cascade of blonde locks and the unmistakable flash of that battle-snarky smile belonging to the one and only Slayer.
"Oh Warren, I'm so glad we're rid of that bumbling boy wonder of yours. Now... we can be alone."
"Yes, my beloved Buffy. With Andrew out of the picture, you and I can go about a good and proper romance. The type of romance clearly illustrated in the great comic books of our time, and not that ridiculous subtle sort that was only hinted at and hidden between the lines of the original series."
"Oh Warren, you are in fact the perfect man! You deserve only the most perfect woman in existence - me."
"I do believe you are right, my love. Now then, let us fade to black so that you and I can engage in perfectly normal heterosexual intercourse together."
The lights began to dim, and I panicked. Throwing myself out of the shadows, I called out to Warren.
"Nooo! Do not be fooled, Warren! She only seems to have changed her ways because of her fascination and sexual attraction to your manly physique! But she shall never change her ways, despite the many issues they will devote to developing your relationship!"
Warren whirled to face me as Buffy pulled a stake from her leg holster.
"Andrew, what are you doing here?"
"Get lost, little boy. Your Warren is mine now."
"No! I shall not allow it! You may be the token female love interest in this tale, but ultimately the friendship that the hero shares with his loyal sidekick is stronger than any temporary bond of love you may have with him!"
"Funny, hearing that come from a pathetic loner like you... Nightwing!"
I gasped as I looked down at myself to see that yes, I was now clad in the robes of Nightwing as Dick Grayson was seen after abandoning Batman. Already I could feel the void of the hated character sucking me into a black oblivion.
"No! I haven't left you, Warren! I won't leave you!"
"It is already too late for you, Andrew. I've found a better sidekick. A shorter one."
From behind Warren stepped Jonathan, clad in the latest version of Robin's uniform as worn by Tim Drake.
"We don't need you anymore, Andrew. Be gone! Be forgotten! And leave us to our more widely-accepted canon pairing!"
That said, Warren swept Buffy into his arms and dipped her, kissing her so deeply that the lights in the room were forced to dim due to the oncoming sex scene that could not be shown in a comic readily available to children.
"Warren? No! Don't leave me, Warren! I still want to be your sidekick! Don't go! Nooooooooo!"
-----------------
I sat up in bed with a frightened gasp, blinking frantically in the darkened room. It was a moment or two before I realized that it had all been a dream. Warren was in bed next to me rather than engaging in illicit sexual acts with Catwoman Buffy. And Jonathan wasn't anywhere to be found, least of all wearing Peter Pan tights and a cape with pixie boots. No, we were still in the hotel in Israel. It was only a dream. Everything was all right.
Or was it?
Looking over at Warren's slumbering form, I couldn't help but wonder if he was dreaming too, and if he was, if it was about Buffy...
Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get a glass of water for myself before going back to sleep. When I came back, I made sure to climb back into bed as carefully as possible without waking up Warren. I listened to him breathing for a few minutes before the sound helped me to drift back to sleep.