i MOVE ON WiTHOUT YOUR KiSS ___♥ LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT YOU'LL MiSS WHEN iM GONE *
So..its been a while.
* High school is over. I CANT believe it..it seems like just yesterday I was a little scared freshman, and now its all over. I can remember ppl telling me in the beginning of this year that it was gunna go by fast, and at first I was like “wtf are they talking about? its going by soo slow”..and then next thing I kno, im leaving for college. I graduated with a pretty good gpa, surprisingly, since 9th and 10th grade I messed up, and even tho senior year I had extreme senioritis, I got the best grades I had ever gotten (two quarters I got a 4.28, once I got a 4.0, and once I got a 4.5) .. my last quarters grades were.. eng- B, ap psych- A, integrated 3- B, govnt honors- A, astronomy- B, creative writing- A, and ap human geo- C .. and I ended up getting the gold cord with a 3.82something.
* I went up to santa fe with jarred, bc he wants to go to uf but he didnt get it..so we went up there like 4 months ago..and I loveddd gainesville..so I started thinking about going there.. and then my dad lost his job, and ucf wudnt let me change my acceptance to fall, so I decided to go to santa fe and work all summer and go in the fall. but my parents wanted me to go to ucf orientation anyway.. so I went.. and it made me totally depressed and I was like “theres no way I can come here in 3 weeks”.. then I got home, and realized that I cant be in gainesville if jarreds there & we’re not together.. so on the morning of my bday I registered for classes at ucf (I left orientation before registering).. my parents say if I absolutely hate it, I dont have to go back there fall,and I can go somewhere else. so now, I leave in 13 days..and im prob the only person that is totally NOT looking forward to it. im not ready to leave.. not ready to leave my home..my friends..my boyfriend <|3
* the jarred thing is complicated.. I wanna stay with him, but he wants a “college experience”.. he says he doesnt mean being with other girls.. he just wants to experience things on his own. he says he wants me in his life no matter wut, and he talks about us visiting eachother..but wut are we gunna be…friends?? friends with benefits??? its killing me..bc I wanna be with him. im not in love.. but hes my world, my everything..and im not ready to let go of him. weve had many talks that last hours about this.. the night of my bday, I had a party thing at my house n then wen ppl left me, my bfffeeee ferber, and jarred went out and got fucked up (I smoked for the first time in like monthssss.. and drank too=]]) .. and then we came back to my house & me and jarred were in my bed, and I was crying to him (again) about the whole college shit, and he started crying too.. so there we are, 7 am on my bday, sobbing our eyes out. but it was the 1st time that ive seen him actually cry about this shit.. so I dont rele kno wuts gunna happen.
* I got some good stuff for graduation/my bday.. I got some cute shirts.. and with money my parents gave me I bought myself a Tiffany necklace & bracelet.. and I have to go buy my Ipod.. and jarred got me burberry perfume which I had releee wanted.. and a coach wallet.. and I bought myself a pink razr <3 but that was with money I had before.
* summer has been pretty good so far.. ive been working, but I told my boss 2 days ago that im leaving. my mommaa took me shopping thursday n friday, got lotsa clothes for college..but I had to buy a couple things bc my mom doesnt like to buy me things from hollister bc she thinks theyre tooo expensive. I still have so much to do before I leave.. I have like 4 different doctor appointments next week.. and I still have to get my laptop, and pack everything. my mommmyy started packing my new clothes for me..cuz she knos ill procrastinate and never do it lol.. and I just got my comforter and stuff from ucf in the mail. it doesnt even seem real that im leaving..even tho ive spent manyyy hours crying about it. my classes start the 26th I think.. I have communications at like 8:20 or something, and then world religions at 9:30 or something on monday thru thursday .. but then im done with class at like 10:30.. and I have the rest of the day to myself. im gunna spend alottt of time at the gym bc the ucf gym is gorgeousss .. ive been working out on my treadmill alot lately too.. I try to do it everyday, except wen I rele dont have time.. but im soo lazy today,but I haveee to do it bc I didnt yesterday bc I woke up late and then went to the beach with my mom, sister, and jarred..but it was a crappy beach day..no tan=[[ . and then I had work .. and then I hung out with ferber, michelle, and les.. egging houses is fun=]]] .
* the boyfriend <3 is sleeping over tonight bc my mom is gone for the night and she doesnt like me staying home alone lol .. but he sleeps here even wen she is here.. I pretty much dont have any rules anymore..like I used to only have a curfew wen I had the car, but now I dont even have that.. I just usually need to be home by the next morning bc my mom needs the car. I wish I had my own=[[ .
* hmmm..wut else have I been up too.. heather slept over my house the other night, we went out to dinner to ruby tuesdays (1 of my favee restaurants) and saw the movie the breakup.it was cute. tomoro night im going to my cousins to seee my baby cousins & say goodbye.
* looking back on high school, I feel like im a completely different person from when I started.. im definitely not as shy anymore,altho I still am pretty shy, I try to fight it.. I feel like I try harder for things.. I just feel like ive grown up alot, but I still dont feel ready to leave.=/ I dont even feel like im 18, I still feel like im 16 or something.. but I better get ready..bc its goodbye high school, hello life.
the end. Y