(no subject)
What has it been, a week? About a week since I said good bye to him. Well, guess who woke me up at 2:45am??? I needed and had to be at work by 6:45am. I couldn't tell who was calling because the whole eye-blurry episode you have when you first awake. So i picked it up, greeted whomever was on the other line....and then paused........only to feel my heart hit the ground when he said, "Hello gorgeous...it's Craig."
WTF?!?!?!?!
i could have sworn I wouldn't speak to him for at least a year...maybe longer. I was willing to realize it would have been a great period of time. Nope......he surprised me once again.
he called a few days later. I am numb still and I have built walls up to protect myself again. But damn, come on Craig. Either stay or go...my heart can't handle all the bull shit. Don't sit on the phone with me and tell me, i'm perfect, i exceed your expectations, your family and friends would love me, don't change, im to sweet.....blah blah blah
I love compliments, everyone does, I just don't handle them well. Especially from him. Analogy time : He's that guy in high school you drool over and think you have no chance with. He's the guy that you look at from across the bar and wink at, then leave with nothing to make an advance with after the three-day period. He's the guy that when you were younger, had these dreams of your future and the guy in the dream who had that presence, didn't have a face.
Well....now when I have those dreams.....he's that guy.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm trying to say, ok psyche, for your own benefit don't tear down that wall. It was recently built, give it time before it's destroyed. Don't let him in. The entire conversation we had was me laughing at his seriousness. He was getting upset....telling me what bothered him....asking me not to leave his life.
What can I do? I want to say ok Craig....I won't. But my heart just doesn't want to bear the dissappointment once it happens again.
it will. i know it will. ugh.
IN OTHER NEWS!!!
I purchased a membership from XSport Fitness...YAY!!! ANNNNDDDD spent the extra moola on a PERSONAL TRAINER!!!! who's fuckin excited????
I SURE AM!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SWWWEEETTTTT FUCKIN DEAL!!!!
Her name is Wendy, she's expensive as hell, and I love the lady! In the next 8 mths I am going to try and journal what we are working on so I can visit the results that occur. WOOP WOOP! yay.....whew. I meet with her for the second time this afternoon, after I get out of the station.
YAY work. lol I need to find a second job...or just hours so I can afford Wendy..haha.
All righty!! I also would like to get a ticket to the Palooza.....we shall see. (craig has some but won't fork them over cuz he's workin' so he's giving them to his brother.) boo on him.
back to work I go. peace.
WTF?!?!?!?!
i could have sworn I wouldn't speak to him for at least a year...maybe longer. I was willing to realize it would have been a great period of time. Nope......he surprised me once again.
he called a few days later. I am numb still and I have built walls up to protect myself again. But damn, come on Craig. Either stay or go...my heart can't handle all the bull shit. Don't sit on the phone with me and tell me, i'm perfect, i exceed your expectations, your family and friends would love me, don't change, im to sweet.....blah blah blah
I love compliments, everyone does, I just don't handle them well. Especially from him. Analogy time : He's that guy in high school you drool over and think you have no chance with. He's the guy that you look at from across the bar and wink at, then leave with nothing to make an advance with after the three-day period. He's the guy that when you were younger, had these dreams of your future and the guy in the dream who had that presence, didn't have a face.
Well....now when I have those dreams.....he's that guy.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm trying to say, ok psyche, for your own benefit don't tear down that wall. It was recently built, give it time before it's destroyed. Don't let him in. The entire conversation we had was me laughing at his seriousness. He was getting upset....telling me what bothered him....asking me not to leave his life.
What can I do? I want to say ok Craig....I won't. But my heart just doesn't want to bear the dissappointment once it happens again.
it will. i know it will. ugh.
IN OTHER NEWS!!!
I purchased a membership from XSport Fitness...YAY!!! ANNNNDDDD spent the extra moola on a PERSONAL TRAINER!!!! who's fuckin excited????
I SURE AM!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SWWWEEETTTTT FUCKIN DEAL!!!!
Her name is Wendy, she's expensive as hell, and I love the lady! In the next 8 mths I am going to try and journal what we are working on so I can visit the results that occur. WOOP WOOP! yay.....whew. I meet with her for the second time this afternoon, after I get out of the station.
YAY work. lol I need to find a second job...or just hours so I can afford Wendy..haha.
All righty!! I also would like to get a ticket to the Palooza.....we shall see. (craig has some but won't fork them over cuz he's workin' so he's giving them to his brother.) boo on him.
back to work I go. peace.