Burp
Title: Burp
Author: addicted101 & mimfish
Character/Pairing: Ten, Martha
Rating: G
Summary: Something follows Martha home. And it's not TARDIS-trained...
Disclaimer: Not ours. And again I say, not ours.
Author's Notes: The third of our short fics based on sayings. "If you mess up, 'fess up." Another crack!fic.
“Martha! Where did this trail of slobber come from?”
A head poked out from behind the door of the TARDIS’ kitchen. “Slobber? What slobber? I don’t see any slobber.” The head quickly retreated.
“I know slobber when I taste- I mean, see it!” the Doctor called, marching towards the kitchen door. “Now where did-” He stopped short at the sight of his companion crouched on the floor, shielding something with her body. “What’re you hiding, Martha?”
“Nothing,” Martha insisted. “Nothing at all. Why would you think I’m hiding something?”
“‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” the Doctor quoted. He narrowed his eyes. “Martha…”
“Oh alright. Now before you say anything, he was just so cute, Doctor! I couldn’t leave him all alone on that tiny little planet!”
“Martha, what are you-” the Doctor stopped as the creature was revealed. “Oh, Martha…you didn’t!”
“Isn’t he cute, Doctor? I told you he was adorable.”
“Yes, adorable. Sure. If you want your home destroyed!”
Martha glanced at the grey, floppy-eared creature chowing down on a bowl of some unspecified meat, his pointed nose snuffling quietly. “What are you on about? Course he won’t destroy the TARDIS. He’s just a lonely little baby. Surely you can understand that?”
“I’m telling you, Martha,” he said grabbing her by the elbow and yanking her towards the door. “He’s about five seconds from igniting the toaster!”
“Let go of me! I just want to pat him…” She tried to re-enter the room, but the Doctor blocked the way.
“Three, two, one…”
Martha was knocked backwards as a wave of heat blasted from the previously intact kitchen.
“What?” she cried, echoing the Doctor’s favourite exclamation. “But what happened to him?”
“Well, I would say that he ejected a gaseous compound from a large, but previously engaged, orifice.”
“In English, Doctor.”
“He burped. After eating. And fire came out.”
“Oh.”
“Yes. ‘Oh’. Now, who’s going to fix my kitchen? Martha?”
“Me?” She sighed. “Well, I suppose it was my fault for bringing him on board.”
The Doctor ran his hand through his hair. “Hmm…well, I suppose the TARDIS can probably handle this one on her own. But Martha?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Put him outside before we leave. I’ve only got one fire extinguisher.”
Author: addicted101 & mimfish
Character/Pairing: Ten, Martha
Rating: G
Summary: Something follows Martha home. And it's not TARDIS-trained...
Disclaimer: Not ours. And again I say, not ours.
Author's Notes: The third of our short fics based on sayings. "If you mess up, 'fess up." Another crack!fic.
“Martha! Where did this trail of slobber come from?”
A head poked out from behind the door of the TARDIS’ kitchen. “Slobber? What slobber? I don’t see any slobber.” The head quickly retreated.
“I know slobber when I taste- I mean, see it!” the Doctor called, marching towards the kitchen door. “Now where did-” He stopped short at the sight of his companion crouched on the floor, shielding something with her body. “What’re you hiding, Martha?”
“Nothing,” Martha insisted. “Nothing at all. Why would you think I’m hiding something?”
“‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” the Doctor quoted. He narrowed his eyes. “Martha…”
“Oh alright. Now before you say anything, he was just so cute, Doctor! I couldn’t leave him all alone on that tiny little planet!”
“Martha, what are you-” the Doctor stopped as the creature was revealed. “Oh, Martha…you didn’t!”
“Isn’t he cute, Doctor? I told you he was adorable.”
“Yes, adorable. Sure. If you want your home destroyed!”
Martha glanced at the grey, floppy-eared creature chowing down on a bowl of some unspecified meat, his pointed nose snuffling quietly. “What are you on about? Course he won’t destroy the TARDIS. He’s just a lonely little baby. Surely you can understand that?”
“I’m telling you, Martha,” he said grabbing her by the elbow and yanking her towards the door. “He’s about five seconds from igniting the toaster!”
“Let go of me! I just want to pat him…” She tried to re-enter the room, but the Doctor blocked the way.
“Three, two, one…”
Martha was knocked backwards as a wave of heat blasted from the previously intact kitchen.
“What?” she cried, echoing the Doctor’s favourite exclamation. “But what happened to him?”
“Well, I would say that he ejected a gaseous compound from a large, but previously engaged, orifice.”
“In English, Doctor.”
“He burped. After eating. And fire came out.”
“Oh.”
“Yes. ‘Oh’. Now, who’s going to fix my kitchen? Martha?”
“Me?” She sighed. “Well, I suppose it was my fault for bringing him on board.”
The Doctor ran his hand through his hair. “Hmm…well, I suppose the TARDIS can probably handle this one on her own. But Martha?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“Put him outside before we leave. I’ve only got one fire extinguisher.”