Through the Looking Glass (Chapters 5-6)
Title: "Through the Looking Glass"
Author: addictd2fiction
Summary: What really happened when Kara's viper disappeared? All she knew was that when she woke up, the figure standing there was definitely Leoben, but he had a giant gold pocketwatch hanging around his neck. He looked completely frenzied, his eyes wide. But the most striking difference, Kara noticed, were the two snow-white bunny ears rising up from his head.
Rating: T
Warnings: Crack! / Crossover / AU
Pairing: K/L
A/N: Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed the last chapters! If you're just joining in, be sure to read chapters 1-4 before this :)
Beta Credit goes to my friend Kathleen, or sassafras1989 - you are the Helo to my Starbuck!
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" or "Alice in Wonderland," or else there'd be more Lee/Kara moments and Cheshire Cat appearances, respectively.
Chapter 5
“The Red Queen,” Gaius began, flicking his tail back and forth behind him, “is heartless.”
Gaius paused for dramatic effect. Kara waited about twenty seconds before she ran out of patience. “Get on with it,” she snapped.
Gaius gave her a flat look before disappearing and rematerializing at a seat across the table from her. “By heartless, I mean to say that she actually doesn’t have a heart.”
“Literally,” Lee added.
“It’s gone,” said Sam.
Kara was about to ask how that was possible, but then remembered that she was sitting across from Gaius Baltar, the talking cat, and thought better of it.
Gaius had evidently taken her silence as the go-ahead, and he plowed onwards with his story. “She is part machine, and though she was developing many human-like characteristics, her emotional growth seems to have been, hmm, stunted recently.”
“Part machine? So she’s a toaster, then.” Kara’s eyebrows drew together.
“Toast? Toast. March Hare, where is the butter? We must have butter with our toast,” Lee said, suddenly distracted. Kara gave him a side-glance, and then looked back at Gaius only to find he was gone. She turned back to Lee to see Gaius hovering above his head, one paw over his mouth as he chuckled and the other holding the butter.
Kara glared at him. “Oh, all right,” Gaius mumbled, putting the butter down and floating to his original position next to her.
“Anyways,” he continued, “As I was saying, she was beginning to exhibit many human emotions. In fact, both she and the Duchess had formed a close bond with me because of their pacifistic beliefs.”
The Duchess? Though Kara didn’t know who the Duchess was, she was really far more interested in the Red Queen, as that seemed to be the greatest lead she had on finding Leoben and discovering why she had been sent here. “So what changed?”
Gaius looked her straight in the eye. “Why, everything.”
* * *
The White Rabbit was so very late, and he could only hope the Queen was in a benevolent mood today. With her recent tyrannical behavior, he could hardly afford to anger her; he quite liked his head attached to the rest of his body. He hurried through the Red Palace towards the throne room, ignoring the clanking of the Royal Red Guards as they patrolled the castle. Nobles and servants alike cowered whenever someone walked by, likely afraid that they would be caught doing something that would displease the Queen. The Rabbit shook his head. Everything had changed.
He finally reached the great red doors to the throne room. On either side a pair of guards lingered, their red sensors swiping back and forth like a giant roving eye as they watched him walk through. He tried to ignore the shiver that shot down his spine as he stepped forward towards the throne. Once he had reached the podium where the Red Queen held court, he knelt to the ground.
“A thousand apologies, my Queen,” he said, still bowed. “Your servant brings you news.”
“You may rise,” he heard, and he stood up to look at her. The Red Queen certainly was beautiful. With her slightly curled white-blond hair and her skin-tight red dress, she looked ethereal. She had high cheekbones and an aristocratic nose with full pouting lips, and thin eyebrows that arched perfectly over gray-blue eyes. She was taller than most women, and she towered over the figure next to her.
The Knave of Hearts did not seem tall and imposing, but his features were harsh, and he wore a constant look of calculation. His forehead was wrinkled in thought, and his gray bushy brows were almost distracting as they pushed together to frown at the Rabbit. He may not have appeared threatening, but he was like a snake in the grass: sneaky, manipulative, and deadly. In the scabbard on his left hip was the shining Vorpal Sword. Having once been owned by the White Knight, the Vorpal Sword was an impressive weapon that almost seemed to teem with life. Its life energy pulsed every once and a while, emitting a deep sound.
The White Rabbit was pulled from his observations as the Queen addressed him again. “What news have you, Rabbit?”
The Rabbit hesitated, carefully choosing his next words. Unfortunately for him, his silence seemed to irk the Knave, who, being the holder of the Queen’s ear, was a very bad enemy to have. “Speak, peasant! Your Queen has asked you something!”
The Queen shot the Knave a look, but the threat was enough to make the Rabbit begin speaking at once. “Yes, yes, very sorry my Queen. As I was on my way over here, I couldn’t help but overhear the flowers as they gossiped.”
“Those damn weeds will have to be taken care of,” the Knave murmured. The Queen ignored him and looked patiently at the Rabbit. “Go on,” she said.
“Well, they were talking about the prophecy. The one about the savior of Wonderland.”
“Yes, I’ve heard of this prophecy. You’re talking about the one who will lead Wonderland to its end. The end of the line.” The Queen leaned forward, more interested now. Even the Knave seemed to be considering the so-called weeds’ gossip.
“Well, I generally tend to take everything the flowers say with a grain of salt, but then the most extraordinary thing happened.” The White Rabbit paused, thinking back. “I ran into her. Or rather I should say, she ran into me.”
“It’s true then?” the Queen demanded.
“Alice,” the Knave breathed, his hand on the hilt of the Vorpal Sword.
The White Rabbit continued. “At first I did not believe it could be her, in my heart I knew. I knew it had to be.” The White Rabbit swallowed next, pausing. Finally, he spoke quietly but clearly, and the whole room tensed. “As you know, I see the universe. I see the patterns. I see time.” Here, he tapped his golden pocket watch. “I see the foreshadowing that proceeds every moment, of every day. It’s all there. And I have a surprise for you. I have something to tell you about the future.” The Rabbit looked straight at the Queen, and then at the Knave. “Alice is coming, and she will take Wonderland back.”
The Queen took in a sharp breath, and the Rabbit bowed low, unsure of what else to say. The Knave, however, dropped his façade of stoicism and moved to action. “Guards!” he yelled.
The mechanical guards filed into the room quickly, forming two columns on either side of the room. The Knave pointed to one column. “You, stay with the Queen and guard her. The rest of you, come with me. We have some hunting to do.”
With that, the Knave swept out of the room, followed by the Red Guards he commanded. The White Rabbit stayed stock-still until the last of them were gone, and then he glanced back at the Queen. Her shock was gone, replaced by a sort of intelligent consideration. “My Rabbit,” she said, standing up. “It seems we have much to discuss.”
The White Rabbit smiled. It seemed a bit of the old Red Queen was still in there somewhere. Hopefully.
* * *
Kara gave a sardonic laugh. “Listen, Gaius. I don’t think you could be vaguer if you tried.” The Cat opened his mouth, and Kara held her hand up. “That doesn’t mean I want to hear your attempts. Now, for frak’s sake, please just continue. I’ve dealt with some baddies before. I think I can handle whatever this place throws at me.”
For once, Gaius seemed to take her seriously. His grin faded slightly, though he still bared all of his spiny teeth. “All right, Kara Thrace, I’ll be straight with you. To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims-in-waiting. The situation is dismal. Wonderland is so discombobulated that ladybugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the Red Queen’s army! Everyone is afraid of losing their heads, and the small, ragtag rebel contingency that still follows the White Queen is constantly on the run, jumping from one location to the next as they run from the Knave of Hearts.”
The sudden stream of information was almost too much for Kara, who was expecting more of the Cat’s usual crap. She held up her hands. “Whoa, whoa, slow down. Bitch seems a little uptight and irrational, what with the head-chopping and all, but why is she so unbeatable? If the people here are so opposed to her, why haven’t they risen up to stop her yet?”
“Her army of Red Guards can be resurrected,” Lee interjected.
Kara looked over at him. Just like the cylons, she thought. “Is there no way to stop that?”
“There is a fort in Wonderland that serves as a sort of hub for her guards to regenerate,” Gaius spoke, his tail lashing back and forth behind him as he examined one paw.
“Well why the frak hasn’t someone sabotaged that yet? That seems like a good place to start.”
“You think we haven’t tried?” Lee stood up, gripping the edge of the table. “My younger brother died trying to… When we were…” He sat back down, suddenly losing all his fight. He touched the hat. “This was his. It’s all that’s left of him after he was beheaded in the Red Palace. There’s not even a point in trying anymore.”
“Hatter.” Helo seemed to have roused himself enough to place a comforting paw on Lee’s shoulder.
Zak? Kara thought. Could it be him? There were too many parallels here. It was unnerving. Maybe she’d wake up in the medical bay with Doc Cottle telling her she drank too much, and this was all a bad dream. And if it was a bad dream… Well then, she had nothing to lose. “We need to blow that place up,” she said.
“You can’t. It’s guarded by the most fearsome of all creatures,” Sam said, glancing from side-to-side as he practically vibrated with energy.
“And what might that be?” Kara asked.
“The Jabberwocky,” said Gaius.
Before Kara could further question him, they heard the sounds of clanking and the rush of footsteps in the distance. As the hum grew louder, the mad tea partiers all froze. Lee stood and quickly walked over to Kara, grabbing her by the elbow. When she looked at him, questioning, his grip tightened. “The Knave of Hearts.”
Chapter 6
“Quick, we need to think of some way to hide you,” Lee said, pulling her towards him as the clanking grew closer. Kara didn’t feel very afraid herself, but she could see that Lee was terrified by how frenzied his eyes were. Not for himself, but for me. She was touched, but no frakking way was she going to show that to him.
Gaius sat up straight before glancing over at Kara. “I’m afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You’re on your own, girl.” He winked at Helo, who blinked twice, before disappearing completely.
Kara thrust her hands into the pockets of her petticoat, looking for her gun. Realizing that she didn’t have it, she pulled out the bottle of whiskey and a piece of the mushroom instead. “Do any of you have a gun?” she asked. She’d rather go down fighting, and that’d take a lot longer if she had something to shoot with. She was Starbuck, after all, and a sober Starbuck was something you didn’t want to mess with.
Lee grabbed both items before taking the whiskey bottle and tearing the lid off. He thrust the now-open bottle in her face. “Hurry and drink this, now.”
Kara grabbed it and took a huge swig. All of a sudden she began shrinking, and, dismayed, she realized that Lee had the rest of the mushroom and was swiftly stuffing it into his pocket. Once she had shrunk to a very small size, Lee grabbed her and hurried back to his seat. He picked her up, and as she yelled an outraged, “Hey!” he hastily dropped her into the teapot closest to him and put the lid on it. Seconds later, the Knave of Hearts and the royal guards burst through the tree line.
The Red Guards surrounded the table as the Knave leisurely strolled up to them. He grabbed a teacup and inspected it for a moment as he addressed them. “Well, well, what do we have here? A mad tea party?” He dropped the cup and it shattered on the ground. He smirked at the Dormouse, the March Hare, and the Hatter sitting before him, all brimming with a quiet defiance. “What’s the occasion?”
Inside the teapot, Kara glared as her dress began soaking up the tea at the bottom of the pot. As if the frilly get-up wasn’t enough, now she was going to smell like chamomile. She froze when she heard the Knave begin speaking. Cavil! her mind hissed at her. She could picture his smug face as he spoke, and she wanted to grab a teapot and smash him with it. If only she weren’t so small! She tried to see if she could spy on him through the spout.
“We’re celebrating our unbirthdays today,” Helo said, still shaking off the remnants of his last sleep.
“And a very merry unbirthday it was,” Sam said. Until you arrived was left unsaid.
“How mad,” the Knave drawled. He stepped closer to the three, and he bent down until he was face-to-face with the March Hare. “I’m looking for a girl. She may be going by the name Alice.”
“There are no girls by the name of Alice here,” said Lee, clenching his fists beneath the table.
The Knave pulled out his sword and pointed it at Lee, its point barely an inch away from his throat. “If you’re hiding her, you’ll lose your heads. Just like the Duchess.” The Knave gave a brief sadistic smile.
Lee glared at him, but said nothing. After a moment of silence, the Knave replaced the Vorpal Sword within its scabbard, and he readied himself to leave. “Pathetic. All three of you. Remember: if you should happen upon this Alice, you are obligated to turn her into the Red Palace. If you do not comply, you will be beheaded, as will any loved ones we can find.” He gave them a sneer, and then turned around, waving off the royal guards.
After a few moments, the clanking was gone, and the March Hare, the Dormouse, and the Mad Hatter sat in silence. That is, until they heard a sudden banging from the inside of one of the teapots.
“Let me out of here right now, you frakkers! I will kill every single one of you, even if I have to do it wearing a godsdamned dress! Ugh!” she shouted. Suddenly, she felt the teapot being tipped, and she was tumbling through the spout and into one of the teacups. Looking up, she saw Lee, Sam, and Helo all looking down at her.
“Give me some of that mushroom, or prepare to die,” Kara said, trying to look as menacing as she could when she was standing in a soaking wet, bright blue dress in the middle of a teacup, looking up at people who were much, much larger.
Lee picked her up and placed her on the seat beside him. He handed her back the mushroom, and eating just a bit of it at a time, she managed to grow back to her right size within a few minutes. When that was all settled, she looked over at the boys, who were sitting in quiet contemplation. Now what? she thought. She felt compelled to help these people - her friends from home - blow up the hub so they would have some fighting chance against this so-called Red Queen, but she also knew she needed to find Leoben.
“I guess we need to blow up that fort in order to give the rebels a fighting chance, right?” she said, glancing around her. Sam visibly perked up, and Helo seemed to awaken even further. Lee leaned towards her. “You still want to help us? Even after what Cheshire told you?”
“Well sure. I may be a screw-up sometimes, but I’m no coward. Now point me in the direction of this rebel contingency.”
“You mean the White Queen and her followers?” Sam asked, bouncing up and down on his chair.
“Sure, I guess. Which way are they?” Kara stuffed the mushroom and the remainder of the whiskey back into her petticoat. She grimaced as she thought about how long it would take this stupid dress to dry. Maybe this White Queen would have something she could borrow in terms of practical clothing.
“We’ll take you there,” Lee said, standing up. Sam and Halo followed suit.
Kara raised one eyebrow, still eyeing his strange hat, and then looked him in the eyes. “Oh really? You’re gonna help me fight? I thought you’d tried already and given up.”
Lee smiled at her, and Kara felt her pulse momentarily quicken. “Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress?” He stepped closer, and Kara instinctively took one step back. She bumped into the table, and Lee took another step until he was completely invading her personal space. “Oh, I see. You don’t trust me? That hurts, Kara.” His smirk grew larger before he took a step back and collected his things. “Besides, you’ll need all the help you can get.”
Kara glared at him. “Nobody asked your opinion. I bet you don’t even know how to fight,” she snapped.
He began walking away from the long table, followed by Helo and Sam. He glanced over his shoulder at her, and he smirked again. “Who’s making personal remarks now?” She huffed, and he laughed. Kara hurried after them, ignoring the squishing sounds coming from her shoes.
From the branch of a tree overlooking the group, the Cheshire Cat smiled. “I won’t let you down, Duchess.” Grinning, he faded slowly, pleased that Alice had finally arrived.
Want to read earlier chapters?
Chapters 1-2
Chapters 3-4
Read and review and I'll love you more than Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace (and I don't care who frakkin' knoooows)!
Author: addictd2fiction
Summary: What really happened when Kara's viper disappeared? All she knew was that when she woke up, the figure standing there was definitely Leoben, but he had a giant gold pocketwatch hanging around his neck. He looked completely frenzied, his eyes wide. But the most striking difference, Kara noticed, were the two snow-white bunny ears rising up from his head.
Rating: T
Warnings: Crack! / Crossover / AU
Pairing: K/L
A/N: Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed the last chapters! If you're just joining in, be sure to read chapters 1-4 before this :)
Beta Credit goes to my friend Kathleen, or sassafras1989 - you are the Helo to my Starbuck!
Disclaimer: I don't own "Battlestar Galactica" or "Alice in Wonderland," or else there'd be more Lee/Kara moments and Cheshire Cat appearances, respectively.
Chapter 5
“The Red Queen,” Gaius began, flicking his tail back and forth behind him, “is heartless.”
Gaius paused for dramatic effect. Kara waited about twenty seconds before she ran out of patience. “Get on with it,” she snapped.
Gaius gave her a flat look before disappearing and rematerializing at a seat across the table from her. “By heartless, I mean to say that she actually doesn’t have a heart.”
“Literally,” Lee added.
“It’s gone,” said Sam.
Kara was about to ask how that was possible, but then remembered that she was sitting across from Gaius Baltar, the talking cat, and thought better of it.
Gaius had evidently taken her silence as the go-ahead, and he plowed onwards with his story. “She is part machine, and though she was developing many human-like characteristics, her emotional growth seems to have been, hmm, stunted recently.”
“Part machine? So she’s a toaster, then.” Kara’s eyebrows drew together.
“Toast? Toast. March Hare, where is the butter? We must have butter with our toast,” Lee said, suddenly distracted. Kara gave him a side-glance, and then looked back at Gaius only to find he was gone. She turned back to Lee to see Gaius hovering above his head, one paw over his mouth as he chuckled and the other holding the butter.
Kara glared at him. “Oh, all right,” Gaius mumbled, putting the butter down and floating to his original position next to her.
“Anyways,” he continued, “As I was saying, she was beginning to exhibit many human emotions. In fact, both she and the Duchess had formed a close bond with me because of their pacifistic beliefs.”
The Duchess? Though Kara didn’t know who the Duchess was, she was really far more interested in the Red Queen, as that seemed to be the greatest lead she had on finding Leoben and discovering why she had been sent here. “So what changed?”
Gaius looked her straight in the eye. “Why, everything.”
* * *
The White Rabbit was so very late, and he could only hope the Queen was in a benevolent mood today. With her recent tyrannical behavior, he could hardly afford to anger her; he quite liked his head attached to the rest of his body. He hurried through the Red Palace towards the throne room, ignoring the clanking of the Royal Red Guards as they patrolled the castle. Nobles and servants alike cowered whenever someone walked by, likely afraid that they would be caught doing something that would displease the Queen. The Rabbit shook his head. Everything had changed.
He finally reached the great red doors to the throne room. On either side a pair of guards lingered, their red sensors swiping back and forth like a giant roving eye as they watched him walk through. He tried to ignore the shiver that shot down his spine as he stepped forward towards the throne. Once he had reached the podium where the Red Queen held court, he knelt to the ground.
“A thousand apologies, my Queen,” he said, still bowed. “Your servant brings you news.”
“You may rise,” he heard, and he stood up to look at her. The Red Queen certainly was beautiful. With her slightly curled white-blond hair and her skin-tight red dress, she looked ethereal. She had high cheekbones and an aristocratic nose with full pouting lips, and thin eyebrows that arched perfectly over gray-blue eyes. She was taller than most women, and she towered over the figure next to her.
The Knave of Hearts did not seem tall and imposing, but his features were harsh, and he wore a constant look of calculation. His forehead was wrinkled in thought, and his gray bushy brows were almost distracting as they pushed together to frown at the Rabbit. He may not have appeared threatening, but he was like a snake in the grass: sneaky, manipulative, and deadly. In the scabbard on his left hip was the shining Vorpal Sword. Having once been owned by the White Knight, the Vorpal Sword was an impressive weapon that almost seemed to teem with life. Its life energy pulsed every once and a while, emitting a deep sound.
The White Rabbit was pulled from his observations as the Queen addressed him again. “What news have you, Rabbit?”
The Rabbit hesitated, carefully choosing his next words. Unfortunately for him, his silence seemed to irk the Knave, who, being the holder of the Queen’s ear, was a very bad enemy to have. “Speak, peasant! Your Queen has asked you something!”
The Queen shot the Knave a look, but the threat was enough to make the Rabbit begin speaking at once. “Yes, yes, very sorry my Queen. As I was on my way over here, I couldn’t help but overhear the flowers as they gossiped.”
“Those damn weeds will have to be taken care of,” the Knave murmured. The Queen ignored him and looked patiently at the Rabbit. “Go on,” she said.
“Well, they were talking about the prophecy. The one about the savior of Wonderland.”
“Yes, I’ve heard of this prophecy. You’re talking about the one who will lead Wonderland to its end. The end of the line.” The Queen leaned forward, more interested now. Even the Knave seemed to be considering the so-called weeds’ gossip.
“Well, I generally tend to take everything the flowers say with a grain of salt, but then the most extraordinary thing happened.” The White Rabbit paused, thinking back. “I ran into her. Or rather I should say, she ran into me.”
“It’s true then?” the Queen demanded.
“Alice,” the Knave breathed, his hand on the hilt of the Vorpal Sword.
The White Rabbit continued. “At first I did not believe it could be her, in my heart I knew. I knew it had to be.” The White Rabbit swallowed next, pausing. Finally, he spoke quietly but clearly, and the whole room tensed. “As you know, I see the universe. I see the patterns. I see time.” Here, he tapped his golden pocket watch. “I see the foreshadowing that proceeds every moment, of every day. It’s all there. And I have a surprise for you. I have something to tell you about the future.” The Rabbit looked straight at the Queen, and then at the Knave. “Alice is coming, and she will take Wonderland back.”
The Queen took in a sharp breath, and the Rabbit bowed low, unsure of what else to say. The Knave, however, dropped his façade of stoicism and moved to action. “Guards!” he yelled.
The mechanical guards filed into the room quickly, forming two columns on either side of the room. The Knave pointed to one column. “You, stay with the Queen and guard her. The rest of you, come with me. We have some hunting to do.”
With that, the Knave swept out of the room, followed by the Red Guards he commanded. The White Rabbit stayed stock-still until the last of them were gone, and then he glanced back at the Queen. Her shock was gone, replaced by a sort of intelligent consideration. “My Rabbit,” she said, standing up. “It seems we have much to discuss.”
The White Rabbit smiled. It seemed a bit of the old Red Queen was still in there somewhere. Hopefully.
* * *
Kara gave a sardonic laugh. “Listen, Gaius. I don’t think you could be vaguer if you tried.” The Cat opened his mouth, and Kara held her hand up. “That doesn’t mean I want to hear your attempts. Now, for frak’s sake, please just continue. I’ve dealt with some baddies before. I think I can handle whatever this place throws at me.”
For once, Gaius seemed to take her seriously. His grin faded slightly, though he still bared all of his spiny teeth. “All right, Kara Thrace, I’ll be straight with you. To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims-in-waiting. The situation is dismal. Wonderland is so discombobulated that ladybugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the Red Queen’s army! Everyone is afraid of losing their heads, and the small, ragtag rebel contingency that still follows the White Queen is constantly on the run, jumping from one location to the next as they run from the Knave of Hearts.”
The sudden stream of information was almost too much for Kara, who was expecting more of the Cat’s usual crap. She held up her hands. “Whoa, whoa, slow down. Bitch seems a little uptight and irrational, what with the head-chopping and all, but why is she so unbeatable? If the people here are so opposed to her, why haven’t they risen up to stop her yet?”
“Her army of Red Guards can be resurrected,” Lee interjected.
Kara looked over at him. Just like the cylons, she thought. “Is there no way to stop that?”
“There is a fort in Wonderland that serves as a sort of hub for her guards to regenerate,” Gaius spoke, his tail lashing back and forth behind him as he examined one paw.
“Well why the frak hasn’t someone sabotaged that yet? That seems like a good place to start.”
“You think we haven’t tried?” Lee stood up, gripping the edge of the table. “My younger brother died trying to… When we were…” He sat back down, suddenly losing all his fight. He touched the hat. “This was his. It’s all that’s left of him after he was beheaded in the Red Palace. There’s not even a point in trying anymore.”
“Hatter.” Helo seemed to have roused himself enough to place a comforting paw on Lee’s shoulder.
Zak? Kara thought. Could it be him? There were too many parallels here. It was unnerving. Maybe she’d wake up in the medical bay with Doc Cottle telling her she drank too much, and this was all a bad dream. And if it was a bad dream… Well then, she had nothing to lose. “We need to blow that place up,” she said.
“You can’t. It’s guarded by the most fearsome of all creatures,” Sam said, glancing from side-to-side as he practically vibrated with energy.
“And what might that be?” Kara asked.
“The Jabberwocky,” said Gaius.
Before Kara could further question him, they heard the sounds of clanking and the rush of footsteps in the distance. As the hum grew louder, the mad tea partiers all froze. Lee stood and quickly walked over to Kara, grabbing her by the elbow. When she looked at him, questioning, his grip tightened. “The Knave of Hearts.”
Chapter 6
“Quick, we need to think of some way to hide you,” Lee said, pulling her towards him as the clanking grew closer. Kara didn’t feel very afraid herself, but she could see that Lee was terrified by how frenzied his eyes were. Not for himself, but for me. She was touched, but no frakking way was she going to show that to him.
Gaius sat up straight before glancing over at Kara. “I’m afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You’re on your own, girl.” He winked at Helo, who blinked twice, before disappearing completely.
Kara thrust her hands into the pockets of her petticoat, looking for her gun. Realizing that she didn’t have it, she pulled out the bottle of whiskey and a piece of the mushroom instead. “Do any of you have a gun?” she asked. She’d rather go down fighting, and that’d take a lot longer if she had something to shoot with. She was Starbuck, after all, and a sober Starbuck was something you didn’t want to mess with.
Lee grabbed both items before taking the whiskey bottle and tearing the lid off. He thrust the now-open bottle in her face. “Hurry and drink this, now.”
Kara grabbed it and took a huge swig. All of a sudden she began shrinking, and, dismayed, she realized that Lee had the rest of the mushroom and was swiftly stuffing it into his pocket. Once she had shrunk to a very small size, Lee grabbed her and hurried back to his seat. He picked her up, and as she yelled an outraged, “Hey!” he hastily dropped her into the teapot closest to him and put the lid on it. Seconds later, the Knave of Hearts and the royal guards burst through the tree line.
The Red Guards surrounded the table as the Knave leisurely strolled up to them. He grabbed a teacup and inspected it for a moment as he addressed them. “Well, well, what do we have here? A mad tea party?” He dropped the cup and it shattered on the ground. He smirked at the Dormouse, the March Hare, and the Hatter sitting before him, all brimming with a quiet defiance. “What’s the occasion?”
Inside the teapot, Kara glared as her dress began soaking up the tea at the bottom of the pot. As if the frilly get-up wasn’t enough, now she was going to smell like chamomile. She froze when she heard the Knave begin speaking. Cavil! her mind hissed at her. She could picture his smug face as he spoke, and she wanted to grab a teapot and smash him with it. If only she weren’t so small! She tried to see if she could spy on him through the spout.
“We’re celebrating our unbirthdays today,” Helo said, still shaking off the remnants of his last sleep.
“And a very merry unbirthday it was,” Sam said. Until you arrived was left unsaid.
“How mad,” the Knave drawled. He stepped closer to the three, and he bent down until he was face-to-face with the March Hare. “I’m looking for a girl. She may be going by the name Alice.”
“There are no girls by the name of Alice here,” said Lee, clenching his fists beneath the table.
The Knave pulled out his sword and pointed it at Lee, its point barely an inch away from his throat. “If you’re hiding her, you’ll lose your heads. Just like the Duchess.” The Knave gave a brief sadistic smile.
Lee glared at him, but said nothing. After a moment of silence, the Knave replaced the Vorpal Sword within its scabbard, and he readied himself to leave. “Pathetic. All three of you. Remember: if you should happen upon this Alice, you are obligated to turn her into the Red Palace. If you do not comply, you will be beheaded, as will any loved ones we can find.” He gave them a sneer, and then turned around, waving off the royal guards.
After a few moments, the clanking was gone, and the March Hare, the Dormouse, and the Mad Hatter sat in silence. That is, until they heard a sudden banging from the inside of one of the teapots.
“Let me out of here right now, you frakkers! I will kill every single one of you, even if I have to do it wearing a godsdamned dress! Ugh!” she shouted. Suddenly, she felt the teapot being tipped, and she was tumbling through the spout and into one of the teacups. Looking up, she saw Lee, Sam, and Helo all looking down at her.
“Give me some of that mushroom, or prepare to die,” Kara said, trying to look as menacing as she could when she was standing in a soaking wet, bright blue dress in the middle of a teacup, looking up at people who were much, much larger.
Lee picked her up and placed her on the seat beside him. He handed her back the mushroom, and eating just a bit of it at a time, she managed to grow back to her right size within a few minutes. When that was all settled, she looked over at the boys, who were sitting in quiet contemplation. Now what? she thought. She felt compelled to help these people - her friends from home - blow up the hub so they would have some fighting chance against this so-called Red Queen, but she also knew she needed to find Leoben.
“I guess we need to blow up that fort in order to give the rebels a fighting chance, right?” she said, glancing around her. Sam visibly perked up, and Helo seemed to awaken even further. Lee leaned towards her. “You still want to help us? Even after what Cheshire told you?”
“Well sure. I may be a screw-up sometimes, but I’m no coward. Now point me in the direction of this rebel contingency.”
“You mean the White Queen and her followers?” Sam asked, bouncing up and down on his chair.
“Sure, I guess. Which way are they?” Kara stuffed the mushroom and the remainder of the whiskey back into her petticoat. She grimaced as she thought about how long it would take this stupid dress to dry. Maybe this White Queen would have something she could borrow in terms of practical clothing.
“We’ll take you there,” Lee said, standing up. Sam and Halo followed suit.
Kara raised one eyebrow, still eyeing his strange hat, and then looked him in the eyes. “Oh really? You’re gonna help me fight? I thought you’d tried already and given up.”
Lee smiled at her, and Kara felt her pulse momentarily quicken. “Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress?” He stepped closer, and Kara instinctively took one step back. She bumped into the table, and Lee took another step until he was completely invading her personal space. “Oh, I see. You don’t trust me? That hurts, Kara.” His smirk grew larger before he took a step back and collected his things. “Besides, you’ll need all the help you can get.”
Kara glared at him. “Nobody asked your opinion. I bet you don’t even know how to fight,” she snapped.
He began walking away from the long table, followed by Helo and Sam. He glanced over his shoulder at her, and he smirked again. “Who’s making personal remarks now?” She huffed, and he laughed. Kara hurried after them, ignoring the squishing sounds coming from her shoes.
From the branch of a tree overlooking the group, the Cheshire Cat smiled. “I won’t let you down, Duchess.” Grinning, he faded slowly, pleased that Alice had finally arrived.
Want to read earlier chapters?
Chapters 1-2
Chapters 3-4
Read and review and I'll love you more than Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace (and I don't care who frakkin' knoooows)!