(no subject)
omg. i have older brothers. 5 of them. i've only met three. wow. the in-laws weren't as bad as i thought they would be, they were actuly pretty interesting. my new brother in-laws are all relly funny and nice, one even was a card dealer for a casino and said he would show me a few things... yay. this is all kinda fun but i relly wish we could just get the whole thing over with. i only have two weeks left of summer, and one of those weeks i'm gona be gone. i wana just chill with my friends, savor their presance while i still have time for my life. i hate going to school so far away. and most of the people at my school are such pricks. *sigh* i love that the people i know outside of athenin are so cool, it makes going to school there barable.
so, while i thought i was gona be spending my one week awy with one of my best friends, turns out now that she can't go. great. i'm not mad or nething... just kinda bumed out. great , now i get to spend the week with just my mom. and boy you know how much we love each other... i don't even know what the fuck i'm gona do out in the middle of nowhere with just my mom. sleep i guess. i was so looking forward to this... that's exctly wht i wanted... nothing time. but the truth of it is that nothing time is only good when it's with someone else. the company is what makes or breaks nothing time. and my mom is not good company. i'm starting to notice that i have a subconscious atraction to things i can't have. or maybe it's just that baisic human atraction to things you don't have. i want this to be over so bad. how do things go from so good, to so bad, and then to even worse so quickly?
i never ran awy when i ws little. whenever i just couldn't tke my parents ne more, i would run out the door crying, get maybe two steps off of the stairs, sit down and come back in ten minets later trying to pretend like nothing happend. i was afraid of what might happen to me if i relly left, and embaresed that i couldn't bring myself to leav. i hate that. i can never win like that because you always have to go back. i want to leave and just keep going. to not turn back.
so, while i thought i was gona be spending my one week awy with one of my best friends, turns out now that she can't go. great. i'm not mad or nething... just kinda bumed out. great , now i get to spend the week with just my mom. and boy you know how much we love each other... i don't even know what the fuck i'm gona do out in the middle of nowhere with just my mom. sleep i guess. i was so looking forward to this... that's exctly wht i wanted... nothing time. but the truth of it is that nothing time is only good when it's with someone else. the company is what makes or breaks nothing time. and my mom is not good company. i'm starting to notice that i have a subconscious atraction to things i can't have. or maybe it's just that baisic human atraction to things you don't have. i want this to be over so bad. how do things go from so good, to so bad, and then to even worse so quickly?
i never ran awy when i ws little. whenever i just couldn't tke my parents ne more, i would run out the door crying, get maybe two steps off of the stairs, sit down and come back in ten minets later trying to pretend like nothing happend. i was afraid of what might happen to me if i relly left, and embaresed that i couldn't bring myself to leav. i hate that. i can never win like that because you always have to go back. i want to leave and just keep going. to not turn back.