unbreak my heart
I had such a great dream yesterday when I took a nap after work. I dreamt that I kissed one of my guy friends whom I've been thinking about a lot lately. In my dream it was raining, I had just got off work and he just arrived. He was nice and walked me to my car. We were holding each other on the way there and I couldn't hold in my feelings anymore and just kissed him. It was so passionate, and felt so real...so we were both kissing and went to his truck and started making out more, but then he had to go to work so he ran inside. A minute later he realized he left his keys w/ me and called me on my cell. So two other workers came out and I gave them his keys. They both smiled at me like they already knew what was going on. That was one of the best dreams I've had in a long time. I wish I knew how he felt about me...I know he just wants to be friends because we've discussed this before when he liked me and I didn't feel the same way. Now I can't stop thinking about him...he's a very sweet guy, kind of shy when it comes to some things, but he's very intelligent, out going, a lot of fun, an extremist, very responsible and kind. I hope his feelings change,I won't push anything. It just sucks when this kinda thing happens...He probably felt the same way I do now when he was in my spot. The timing just wasn't right for me. Before I had just gotten out of a tough relationship that was going on two years. I wasn't ready to see anyone else yet and he wasn't what I was looking for...I wanted an older guy. That was a bad idea because the older guys I knew didn't want a relationship...we all know what most older guys want...There was a time in the beginning when I first started hanging out w/ my friend I did like him a little. I'm pretty shy and so was he so nothing was pursued when it could've been...Now my feelings have changed and I like him so much. The more I kept thinking about him the more I wanted to tell him how I felt. Last night I decided to ask him out on a date. It was pretty risky but I had to do ask him anyways...and he said he thinks it would be best if we were just friends...broke my heart...I still want to be his friend, but for right now I'm heartbroken and I don't know how long it will take for me to get over it. I knew deep down inside that right now he didn't feel the same way but there were small things that made me think he did, but he was just shy...I don't want ask him why he doesn't want to date me. Maybe he does like me but it's just not the right time...maybe I'm just not for him...maybe there's still a chance...