[ONESHOT/FIC] Memories
Title: Memories
Fandom: SHINee
Pairing: JongKey, completely broken and ninja!OnKey
Rating: PG-15 to be safe
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Disclaimer: I don't own SHINee. I wish I did, though. T____T
Summary: Kibum drowns within his own melancholy of a cycle of relationships that never change. Jonghyun's perspective of his and Kibum's bond, however, draws him closer and closer to him, loving the every detail of Kibum's everything.
Author's Note: I had a pretty angsty playlist and I was getting high on JongKey and dark chocolate, so excuse me if this sucks. D: Plus, for me, it's kinda short because I love my oneshots to be really long.
That night was cold, serious and depressing. The breeze that ran by his skin made Kibum shiver, the darkness of the night made him feel even more alone as the open sky had but little stars and the sounds the creatures around him made him feel empty as they echoed through the park. His grief-stricken being and tear-stained cheeks made it obvious that he'd been hit by something like how bullet goes through one's body, tearing flesh, briskly rushing through blood and insides and spreading pain throughout the whole system.
He could see the simple design of the park. Trees here and there, the grass abound while glistening under fluorescent street lamps and bright moon beams and bright roses in a flower bed. That was his view, swinging back and forth from a wooden swing big enough for two.The more he stared at his surroundings the more he thought of Jinki. Kibum was known to over-analyze and look past anything, often associating things to be symbols of very emotional meanings. He thought of how he chose the park, with all the trees arranged in random order and how one can get lost. That led him to think that maybe he was lost in life's sadistic and ironically euphoric game called love. Shining in its full glory, was the moon. The moon made me Kibum think how could've shone brightly amongst all the stars around him and how he might've outshone Jinki, too. And, with all those reasons, Kibum gave up on being strong and holding it in. He started to cry again, salty tears streaming from his eyes and eyes heavy and swollen from all the activity. Each blink was heavy and sore as he felt his eyes might have gotten even redder than the last time he looked at his reflection.
"Isn't it weird that I still care?" A sort of raspy voice said as Kibum heard the brushing of the moist grass against shoes and the weight of the swing getting heavier. He looked to his left, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. Puppy-like black eyes under brown bangs looked at the crying teenager with pity; the stranger's right hand placing itself on Kibum's thigh.
"I'm not going to answer that and I'm not going to entertain anything else that comes from your mouth, Jonghyun." Kibum said with a stuffy nose, wiping any other tears with his hand. Jonghyun was Kibum's ex-boyfriend, the one that preceeded Jinki and the one that Kibum remembered the most. The bad-boy-like attitude, the alluring smile, the curious lips and the warm hands that made Kibum's very core melt even until now. Plus the memory of losing his virginity to this man didn't help him forget either.
"Why are you here, anyway?" Kibum shot him a look of confusion. Should he be happy that he had someone to talk to? Or shouldn't he because this man carried him up high and dropped him like ball months ago?
"I'm here to help a friend, make him happy." Jonghyun replied, taking out a green hanky from his pocket and wiping tears from Kibum's cheek gently. Somehow, Jonghyun felt the sparks he's been searching for and the warmth he never felt for a long time. He wanted to hug Kibum, have him in his arms, crying on his chest and kiss his forehead just to help take all the pain and sorrow away. He desired to do anything to stop from seeing that beautiful face drown itself distress and loneliness, even cross oceans and overcome fears.
Kibum frowned at him. "I thought we broke up. Ex's don't become friends, do they?"
"Well, I never stopped being yours." The older boy stopped wiping Kibum's cheeks and scooted closer towards him, this time, his hand moving from the teenager's thigh to his hand. He looked at Kibum's face again as the moon's rays hit on a perfect angle, showing Kibum's sparkling eyes, defined cheekbones and kissable lips. It was that warmth and those sparks again, creeping up Jonghyun's body and Kibum's deceiving internal and external beauty flooded over Jonghyun's mind. As of the moment, all he could think about were the beautiful moments they had together that made his heart beat and those angry times that made him hate himself.
Kibum smiled at Jonghyun's reply. One less person that hated his guts.
Jonghyun's handsome features enticed Kibum to forget all about Jinki and just throw himself onto the older boy and cry everything out but then, Jonghyun was his ex-boyfriend. It would've been extremely awkward and odd if he did that.
"And I never stopped loving you either." Jonghyun stared intently at the beauty that was before him, not even ashamed of his previous words. He was in love with Kibum ever since they first met, even after they broke up all he could think about were those thin curved lips and that soft skin against his. Letting go of him all those months and the scouring of a new love was the hardest part in his life. He could never find anyone to replace his beautifully complex Kim Kibum.
"J-Jonghyun...!" Kibum looked back at big, ebony eyes full of regret and sighed. "How is it that you were the one who broke it off in the first place and now you're telling me that you've been loving me all this time?" his laugh was empty. Had he felt any understanding towards Jonghyun? He loved him, too, and perhaps, was also thinking about him while he was with Jinki. Jinki did always complain of Kibum always comparing him with Jonghyun; how Jinki choice of music was more lively rather than Jonghyun's bossa nova and Brown Eyed Soul collection or even how Jonghyun would always shower Kibum in kisses and surprise dinners while Jinki always had Plans A and B. "Oh, I forgot. It was you who had the problem not me and now you're seizing the chance to get over what jealousy you had over Jinki."
"Look, that wasn't it. And the real problem was that I was ungrateful of you; and yes, I admit, I was and I am jealous of Jinki." It was the time to confess everything; hindered love and obvious jealousy were about the be revealed to the person Jonghyun he thought he'd never tell out of shame and loss of pride. "I didn't see who you really were, the true beauty you possesed before I let you slip away from me. The feelings of fear and sadness overcame, what more jealousy when I saw Jinki suddenly become a part of your life more than I was.
"I was jealous that Jinki had you when I was alone with no one to hold onto and I'm still jealous that he's able to leave you probably without feeling all the things I felt when you weren't with me, Kibum.
"I didn't ask for you back because I thought that maybe you would've forgotten what we felt for each other but I was also thinking about how maybe you weren't over me; I was thinking it could've been a possibility but I didn't want to swallow my pride and risk yours by making you take an idiot back from stupid decision that was practically baseless.
"I miss you. I miss your warmth, your smile, your laugh and the way you would always hold my hand when you're scared. Even the heat and feeling of your skin and body on mine, I couldn't forget because you stood out from all those other girls like that. You made me feel real; I didn't have that empty love for Jessica or Juliette or anyone else for that matter when I was with you." Jonghyun drew himself closer to his only love, cupping his chin for perfect, passionate eye contact. "You, Kim Kibum, are the only I love and will ever love."
Both leaned in for a kiss that bloomed feelings of long, lost love within themselves. Jonghyun sucked on Kibum's soft lower lip, running his tongue along its tenderness, savoring its sweet taste while thin arms laced around his neck. Both were deeply engulfed in the passionate lip-locking as Jonghyun's strong arms wrapped themselves around Kibum's waist and his lips leaving Kibum's to travel to his jawline, up his cheek and on his temple. The pair moved again to the younger's long, white neck changing from just kissing to licking and biting the very skin. Kibum let out mewls while clutching the back of Jonghyun's shirt; it was an even better sensation than ever. But Kibum hated guilt and he hatedrebounds. He moved his hands to Jonghyun's broad chest and slightly pushed him away despite the pleasure he felt.
"W-Wait. Stop."
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A/N: I'll leave whatever happens next to your imagination. ;) COMMENTS MAKE ME FEEL LOVED LIKE