Useless

[adaycalledzero]

if ever there was an appropriate word to describe me this morning...

an exchange between a friend and i this am:

AtTheFED: i have started having daydreams about dying in tragic ways, and they are actually an escape from the days many humiliations.
AtTheFED: sorry that was morose.
AtTheFED: macabre
AtTheFED: melancholy
AtTheFED: fatalistic
AtTheFED: nihilistic
AtTheFED: (i feel like i'm writing my resume)

In other news, I mentioned an epiphany yesterday, but in retrospect i feel that was at least a little misleading. for me, the word epiphany has something of a positive or hopeful connotation. which means that what i experienced yesterday was more along the lines of a "grim realization".

grim realization
in every sense, I have reached my lowest point.

Sure I could put a positive turn on it by adopting an, "I've got nowhere to go but up" attitude, but that seems absolutely ridiculous at this point.

in still other news, my family is coming to visit but won't give me any details so i can't plan anything so i'm stressed out.

this has been a pleasant post.